Discussion:
point -doom- / another bad poem by rachel, slowly cracking up (g-d help me!)
(too old to reply)
Rachel
2017-03-23 23:31:02 UTC
Permalink
point -doom-

they sat at home, together
yet apart-
and all- was quiet-
and still-but not yet dark!

then the sun began to set-
or so it seamed-
beaming a bevy of color-
through their beachfront dream-

successively they did get up-
now off to the local club to sup-
they got themselves all dressed up, too!
a new coat of tweed, and a gown of blue-

then they came home-
and changed again-
dressed to retire-
to rest, in their den.-

they went together sound to sleep
in a bed soft and fair, like banana leaves.

but the sun soon appeared-
bursting in the sky-
shining equitably into their room-
at the scheduled time!

with opened eyes, the couple rose-
they both got clean-
and changed their clothes...

on the beach for a walk-
they went hand in hand-
together making footprints-
in the sand!

then followed the yellow brick road back up the hill-
back home
back inside
where they sat back down!

there was nowhere else-
to go.-

and there was evening-
and there was morning-
it was just another day!
Dental River
2017-03-23 23:46:58 UTC
Permalink
They went together sound to sleep
in a bed soft and fair, like banana leaves.
h***@gmail.com
2017-03-24 10:20:52 UTC
Permalink
They go together, sound and sleep,
whenever I am counting sheep,
all the 'baaaaaaad' thoughts that I hear
fill the air when they are near.

When the sheep sleep soundly, they
allow me time to get some hay,
because I hear the donkeys bray,
'Good Morning! Have a wonderful day!'
Will Dockery
2017-03-24 10:51:08 UTC
Permalink
Post by Rachel
point -doom-
they sat at home, together
yet apart-
and all- was quiet-
and still-but not yet dark!
then the sun began to set-
or so it seamed-
beaming a bevy of color-
through their beachfront dream-
successively they did get up-
now off to the local club to sup-
they got themselves all dressed up, too!
a new coat of tweed, and a gown of blue-
then they came home-
and changed again-
dressed to retire-
to rest, in their den.-
they went together sound to sleep
in a bed soft and fair, like banana leaves.
but the sun soon appeared-
bursting in the sky-
shining equitably into their room-
at the scheduled time!
with opened eyes, the couple rose-
they both got clean-
and changed their clothes...
on the beach for a walk-
they went hand in hand-
together making footprints-
in the sand!
then followed the yellow brick road back up the hill-
back home
back inside
where they sat back down!
there was nowhere else-
to go.-
and there was evening-
and there was morning-
it was just another day!
Point Dume was Bob Dylan's house in Malibu, Zuma Beach, or one of those, right?
drive-by
2017-03-24 12:21:04 UTC
Permalink
Post by Will Dockery
Post by Rachel
point -doom-
they sat at home, together
yet apart-
and all- was quiet-
and still-but not yet dark!
then the sun began to set-
or so it seamed-
beaming a bevy of color-
through their beachfront dream-
successively they did get up-
now off to the local club to sup-
they got themselves all dressed up, too!
a new coat of tweed, and a gown of blue-
then they came home-
and changed again-
dressed to retire-
to rest, in their den.-
they went together sound to sleep
in a bed soft and fair, like banana leaves.
but the sun soon appeared-
bursting in the sky-
shining equitably into their room-
at the scheduled time!
with opened eyes, the couple rose-
they both got clean-
and changed their clothes...
on the beach for a walk-
they went hand in hand-
together making footprints-
in the sand!
then followed the yellow brick road back up the hill-
back home
back inside
where they sat back down!
there was nowhere else-
to go.-
and there was evening-
and there was morning-
it was just another day!
Point Dume was Bob Dylan's house in Malibu, Zuma Beach, or one of those, right?
Nothing like a banana leaf bed.....

A day in the life of R and B.......desolation row indeed.
h***@gmail.com
2017-03-24 12:27:32 UTC
Permalink
Fuck that. Nothing like an hour on the treadmill.
I bet you can't guess how fast I'm going right now.
h***@gmail.com
2017-03-24 12:34:50 UTC
Permalink
My heart goes out when I run in
my basement. Hear it? In my gym,
I have a mill I tread upon
to reach conclusions, well, forgone.
drive-by
2017-03-24 12:34:56 UTC
Permalink
Post by h***@gmail.com
Fuck that. Nothing like an hour on the treadmill.
I bet you can't guess how fast I'm going right now.
faster than a sniper's speeding bullet
h***@gmail.com
2017-03-24 12:42:24 UTC
Permalink
Of course I have a DD214 that establishes the truth of my sniper claim.
I've never felt it necessary to scan and post on the Internet, but if you'd
ever like to inspect the document, I can make it available to you privately.
Will Dockery
2017-03-24 12:44:01 UTC
Permalink
"Give you all my money, give you all my gold. Buy you a house in Zuma Beach and give you half of what I own..." -Mick Jagger

Said at the time to be Jagger's parody of Dylan, "Some Girls".
h***@gmail.com
2017-03-24 12:46:35 UTC
Permalink
Buckshot, Will. Focus now.
Rachel
2017-03-24 18:05:12 UTC
Permalink
Post by Will Dockery
Post by Rachel
point -doom-
they sat at home, together
yet apart-
and all- was quiet-
and still-but not yet dark!
then the sun began to set-
or so it seamed-
beaming a bevy of color-
through their beachfront dream-
successively they did get up-
now off to the local club to sup-
they got themselves all dressed up, too!
a new coat of tweed, and a gown of blue-
then they came home-
and changed again-
dressed to retire-
to rest, in their den.-
they went together sound to sleep
in a bed soft and fair, like banana leaves.
but the sun soon appeared-
bursting in the sky-
shining equitably into their room-
at the scheduled time!
with opened eyes, the couple rose-
they both got clean-
and changed their clothes...
on the beach for a walk-
they went hand in hand-
together making footprints-
in the sand!
then followed the yellow brick road back up the hill-
back home
back inside
where they sat back down!
there was nowhere else-
to go.-
and there was evening-
and there was morning-
it was just another day!
Point Dume was Bob Dylan's house in Malibu, Zuma Beach, or one of those, right?
did he move away? :-(

he's gone?
Michael Pendragon
2017-03-24 18:09:55 UTC
Permalink
Post by Rachel
Post by Will Dockery
Post by Rachel
point -doom-
they sat at home, together
yet apart-
and all- was quiet-
and still-but not yet dark!
then the sun began to set-
or so it seamed-
beaming a bevy of color-
through their beachfront dream-
successively they did get up-
now off to the local club to sup-
they got themselves all dressed up, too!
a new coat of tweed, and a gown of blue-
then they came home-
and changed again-
dressed to retire-
to rest, in their den.-
they went together sound to sleep
in a bed soft and fair, like banana leaves.
but the sun soon appeared-
bursting in the sky-
shining equitably into their room-
at the scheduled time!
with opened eyes, the couple rose-
they both got clean-
and changed their clothes...
on the beach for a walk-
they went hand in hand-
together making footprints-
in the sand!
then followed the yellow brick road back up the hill-
back home
back inside
where they sat back down!
there was nowhere else-
to go.-
and there was evening-
and there was morning-
it was just another day!
Point Dume was Bob Dylan's house in Malibu, Zuma Beach, or one of those, right?
did he move away? :-(
he's gone?
Long gone.

He's hiding from some crazed female stalker under the witless protection program.
Will Dockery
2017-03-24 18:43:58 UTC
Permalink
I think that this is the house his son Jakob was in the news with putting it up for sale?

Could be a different house though, the Dylan family probably have a few of those.
&
2017-03-24 17:17:23 UTC
Permalink
Post by Rachel
point -doom-
they sat at home, together yet apart- and all- was quiet- and
still-but not yet dark!
then the sun began to set- or so it seamed- beaming a bevy of color-
through their beachfront dream-
successively they did get up- now off to the local club to sup- they
got themselves all dressed up, too! a new coat of tweed, and a gown
of blue-
then they came home- and changed again- dressed to retire- to rest,
in their den.-
they went together sound to sleep in a bed soft and fair, like banana
leaves.
but the sun soon appeared- bursting in the sky- shining equitably
into their room- at the scheduled time!
with opened eyes, the couple rose- they both got clean- and changed
their clothes...
on the beach for a walk- they went hand in hand- together making
footprints- in the sand!
then followed the yellow brick road back up the hill- back home back
inside where they sat back down!
there was nowhere else- to go.-
and there was evening- and there was morning- it was just another
day!
then who gives a shit why write poem about it
Michael Pendragon
2017-03-24 20:40:19 UTC
Permalink
Post by &
Post by Rachel
point -doom-
they sat at home, together yet apart- and all- was quiet- and
still-but not yet dark!
then the sun began to set- or so it seamed- beaming a bevy of color-
through their beachfront dream-
successively they did get up- now off to the local club to sup- they
got themselves all dressed up, too! a new coat of tweed, and a gown
of blue-
then they came home- and changed again- dressed to retire- to rest,
in their den.-
they went together sound to sleep in a bed soft and fair, like banana
leaves.
but the sun soon appeared- bursting in the sky- shining equitably
into their room- at the scheduled time!
with opened eyes, the couple rose- they both got clean- and changed
their clothes...
on the beach for a walk- they went hand in hand- together making
footprints- in the sand!
then followed the yellow brick road back up the hill- back home back
inside where they sat back down!
there was nowhere else- to go.-
and there was evening- and there was morning- it was just another
day!
then who gives a shit why write poem about it
Rachel give a shit. Rachel write poem.

& no give a shit. Why & read poem?
Will Dockery
2017-03-24 21:27:01 UTC
Permalink
Post by Michael Pendragon
Post by &
Post by Rachel
point -doom-
they sat at home, together yet apart- and all- was quiet- and
still-but not yet dark!
then the sun began to set- or so it seamed- beaming a bevy of color-
through their beachfront dream-
successively they did get up- now off to the local club to sup- they
got themselves all dressed up, too! a new coat of tweed, and a gown
of blue-
then they came home- and changed again- dressed to retire- to rest,
in their den.-
they went together sound to sleep in a bed soft and fair, like banana
leaves.
but the sun soon appeared- bursting in the sky- shining equitably
into their room- at the scheduled time!
with opened eyes, the couple rose- they both got clean- and changed
their clothes...
on the beach for a walk- they went hand in hand- together making
footprints- in the sand!
then followed the yellow brick road back up the hill- back home back
inside where they sat back down!
there was nowhere else- to go.-
and there was evening- and there was morning- it was just another
day!
then who gives a shit why write poem about it
Rachel give a shit. Rachel write poem.
& no give a shit. Why & read poem?
In my opinion, one of her better poems in the "Portraits of Dylan" series.

:)
Michael Pendragon
2017-03-24 22:02:30 UTC
Permalink
Post by Will Dockery
Post by Michael Pendragon
Post by &
Post by Rachel
point -doom-
they sat at home, together yet apart- and all- was quiet- and
still-but not yet dark!
then the sun began to set- or so it seamed- beaming a bevy of color-
through their beachfront dream-
successively they did get up- now off to the local club to sup- they
got themselves all dressed up, too! a new coat of tweed, and a gown
of blue-
then they came home- and changed again- dressed to retire- to rest,
in their den.-
they went together sound to sleep in a bed soft and fair, like banana
leaves.
but the sun soon appeared- bursting in the sky- shining equitably
into their room- at the scheduled time!
with opened eyes, the couple rose- they both got clean- and changed
their clothes...
on the beach for a walk- they went hand in hand- together making
footprints- in the sand!
then followed the yellow brick road back up the hill- back home back
inside where they sat back down!
there was nowhere else- to go.-
and there was evening- and there was morning- it was just another
day!
then who gives a shit why write poem about it
Rachel give a shit. Rachel write poem.
& no give a shit. Why & read poem?
In my opinion, one of her better poems in the "Portraits of Dylan" series.
I'd disagree ... except that I can't think of *anything* in her Dylan series that I can read without cringing.
&
2017-03-25 15:07:35 UTC
Permalink
Post by Michael Pendragon
Post by Will Dockery
Post by Michael Pendragon
Post by &
Post by Rachel
point -doom-
they sat at home, together yet apart- and all- was quiet-
and still-but not yet dark!
then the sun began to set- or so it seamed- beaming a bevy of
color- through their beachfront dream-
successively they did get up- now off to the local club to
sup- they got themselves all dressed up, too! a new coat of
tweed, and a gown of blue-
then they came home- and changed again- dressed to retire- to
rest, in their den.-
they went together sound to sleep in a bed soft and fair,
like banana leaves.
but the sun soon appeared- bursting in the sky- shining
equitably into their room- at the scheduled time!
with opened eyes, the couple rose- they both got clean- and
changed their clothes...
on the beach for a walk- they went hand in hand- together
making footprints- in the sand!
then followed the yellow brick road back up the hill- back
home back inside where they sat back down!
there was nowhere else- to go.-
and there was evening- and there was morning- it was just
another day!
then who gives a shit why write poem about it
Rachel give a shit. Rachel write poem.
& no give a shit. Why & read poem?
In my opinion, one of her better poems in the "Portraits of Dylan" series.
I'd disagree ... except that I can't think of *anything* in her Dylan
series that I can read without cringing.
and yet you argue with her critics dopey get head out of ass
Michael Pendragon
2017-03-26 02:55:03 UTC
Permalink
Post by &
Post by Michael Pendragon
Post by Will Dockery
Post by Michael Pendragon
Post by &
Post by Rachel
point -doom-
they sat at home, together yet apart- and all- was quiet-
and still-but not yet dark!
then the sun began to set- or so it seamed- beaming a bevy of
color- through their beachfront dream-
successively they did get up- now off to the local club to
sup- they got themselves all dressed up, too! a new coat of
tweed, and a gown of blue-
then they came home- and changed again- dressed to retire- to
rest, in their den.-
they went together sound to sleep in a bed soft and fair,
like banana leaves.
but the sun soon appeared- bursting in the sky- shining
equitably into their room- at the scheduled time!
with opened eyes, the couple rose- they both got clean- and
changed their clothes...
on the beach for a walk- they went hand in hand- together
making footprints- in the sand!
then followed the yellow brick road back up the hill- back
home back inside where they sat back down!
there was nowhere else- to go.-
and there was evening- and there was morning- it was just
another day!
then who gives a shit why write poem about it
Rachel give a shit. Rachel write poem.
& no give a shit. Why & read poem?
In my opinion, one of her better poems in the "Portraits of Dylan" series.
I'd disagree ... except that I can't think of *anything* in her Dylan
series that I can read without cringing.
and yet you argue with her critics dopey get head out of ass
No speakee Chimpanzeese. You talkee English, maybe?
&
2017-03-26 22:34:12 UTC
Permalink
Post by Michael Pendragon
Post by &
On Friday, March 24, 2017 at 5:27:03 PM UTC-4, Will Dockery
On Friday, March 24, 2017 at 4:40:20 PM UTC-4, Michael
Post by Michael Pendragon
Post by &
Post by Rachel
point -doom-
they sat at home, together yet apart- and all- was
quiet- and still-but not yet dark!
then the sun began to set- or so it seamed- beaming a
bevy of color- through their beachfront dream-
successively they did get up- now off to the local club
to sup- they got themselves all dressed up, too! a new
coat of tweed, and a gown of blue-
then they came home- and changed again- dressed to
retire- to rest, in their den.-
they went together sound to sleep in a bed soft and
fair, like banana leaves.
but the sun soon appeared- bursting in the sky- shining
equitably into their room- at the scheduled time!
with opened eyes, the couple rose- they both got clean-
and changed their clothes...
on the beach for a walk- they went hand in hand-
together making footprints- in the sand!
then followed the yellow brick road back up the hill-
back home back inside where they sat back down!
there was nowhere else- to go.-
and there was evening- and there was morning- it was
just another day!
then who gives a shit why write poem about it
Rachel give a shit. Rachel write poem.
& no give a shit. Why & read poem?
In my opinion, one of her better poems in the "Portraits of
Dylan" series.
I'd disagree ... except that I can't think of *anything* in her
Dylan series that I can read without cringing.
and yet you argue with her critics dopey get head out of ass
No speakee Chimpanzeese. You talkee English, maybe?
i win
&
2017-03-25 14:59:27 UTC
Permalink
Post by Michael Pendragon
Post by &
Post by Rachel
point -doom-
they sat at home, together yet apart- and all- was quiet- and
still-but not yet dark!
then the sun began to set- or so it seamed- beaming a bevy of
color- through their beachfront dream-
successively they did get up- now off to the local club to sup-
they got themselves all dressed up, too! a new coat of tweed, and
a gown of blue-
then they came home- and changed again- dressed to retire- to
rest, in their den.-
they went together sound to sleep in a bed soft and fair, like
banana leaves.
but the sun soon appeared- bursting in the sky- shining
equitably into their room- at the scheduled time!
with opened eyes, the couple rose- they both got clean- and
changed their clothes...
on the beach for a walk- they went hand in hand- together making
footprints- in the sand!
then followed the yellow brick road back up the hill- back home
back inside where they sat back down!
there was nowhere else- to go.-
and there was evening- and there was morning- it was just
another day!
then who gives a shit why write poem about it
Rachel give a shit. Rachel write poem.
& no give a shit. Why & read poem?
i guess the faggots like it
Michael Pendragon
2017-03-26 02:54:07 UTC
Permalink
Post by &
Post by Michael Pendragon
Post by &
Post by Rachel
point -doom-
they sat at home, together yet apart- and all- was quiet- and
still-but not yet dark!
then the sun began to set- or so it seamed- beaming a bevy of
color- through their beachfront dream-
successively they did get up- now off to the local club to sup-
they got themselves all dressed up, too! a new coat of tweed, and
a gown of blue-
then they came home- and changed again- dressed to retire- to
rest, in their den.-
they went together sound to sleep in a bed soft and fair, like
banana leaves.
but the sun soon appeared- bursting in the sky- shining
equitably into their room- at the scheduled time!
with opened eyes, the couple rose- they both got clean- and
changed their clothes...
on the beach for a walk- they went hand in hand- together making
footprints- in the sand!
then followed the yellow brick road back up the hill- back home
back inside where they sat back down!
there was nowhere else- to go.-
and there was evening- and there was morning- it was just
another day!
then who gives a shit why write poem about it
Rachel give a shit. Rachel write poem.
& no give a shit. Why & read poem?
i guess the faggots like it
You realize that you've just called yourself a faggot, don't you?
&
2017-03-26 22:31:51 UTC
Permalink
Post by Michael Pendragon
Post by &
Post by Michael Pendragon
Post by &
Post by Rachel
point -doom-
they sat at home, together yet apart- and all- was quiet-
and still-but not yet dark!
then the sun began to set- or so it seamed- beaming a bevy
of color- through their beachfront dream-
successively they did get up- now off to the local club to
sup- they got themselves all dressed up, too! a new coat of
tweed, and a gown of blue-
then they came home- and changed again- dressed to retire-
to rest, in their den.-
they went together sound to sleep in a bed soft and fair,
like banana leaves.
but the sun soon appeared- bursting in the sky- shining
equitably into their room- at the scheduled time!
with opened eyes, the couple rose- they both got clean- and
changed their clothes...
on the beach for a walk- they went hand in hand- together
making footprints- in the sand!
then followed the yellow brick road back up the hill- back
home back inside where they sat back down!
there was nowhere else- to go.-
and there was evening- and there was morning- it was just
another day!
then who gives a shit why write poem about it
Rachel give a shit. Rachel write poem.
& no give a shit. Why & read poem?
i guess the faggots like it
You realize that you've just called yourself a faggot, don't you?
wow is dopey stupid . i win
Michael Pendragon
2017-03-27 11:55:05 UTC
Permalink
Post by &
Post by Michael Pendragon
Post by &
Post by Michael Pendragon
Post by &
Post by Rachel
point -doom-
they sat at home, together yet apart- and all- was quiet-
and still-but not yet dark!
then the sun began to set- or so it seamed- beaming a bevy
of color- through their beachfront dream-
successively they did get up- now off to the local club to
sup- they got themselves all dressed up, too! a new coat of
tweed, and a gown of blue-
then they came home- and changed again- dressed to retire-
to rest, in their den.-
they went together sound to sleep in a bed soft and fair,
like banana leaves.
but the sun soon appeared- bursting in the sky- shining
equitably into their room- at the scheduled time!
with opened eyes, the couple rose- they both got clean- and
changed their clothes...
on the beach for a walk- they went hand in hand- together
making footprints- in the sand!
then followed the yellow brick road back up the hill- back
home back inside where they sat back down!
there was nowhere else- to go.-
and there was evening- and there was morning- it was just
another day!
then who gives a shit why write poem about it
Rachel give a shit. Rachel write poem.
& no give a shit. Why & read poem?
i guess the faggots like it
You realize that you've just called yourself a faggot, don't you?
wow is dopey stupid . i win
Apparently & no understand.
h***@gmail.com
2017-03-27 11:59:12 UTC
Permalink
When misunderstandings
reach epidemic proportions,
somebody has to die.
Michael Pendragon
2017-03-27 12:16:07 UTC
Permalink
Post by h***@gmail.com
When misunderstandings
reach epidemic proportions,
somebody has to die.
That's a bit harsh. I'm sure & is a good little monkey, with enough curiosity to (some day) master the basic reading comprehension skills necessary for participation in this group.
h***@gmail.com
2017-03-27 12:22:03 UTC
Permalink
It's a fact of life. That's how wars start.
&
2017-03-28 17:18:02 UTC
Permalink
Post by Michael Pendragon
Post by &
Post by Michael Pendragon
Post by &
Post by Michael Pendragon
Post by &
Post by Rachel
point -doom-
they sat at home, together yet apart- and all- was
quiet- and still-but not yet dark!
then the sun began to set- or so it seamed- beaming a
bevy of color- through their beachfront dream-
successively they did get up- now off to the local club
to sup- they got themselves all dressed up, too! a new
coat of tweed, and a gown of blue-
then they came home- and changed again- dressed to
retire- to rest, in their den.-
they went together sound to sleep in a bed soft and
fair, like banana leaves.
but the sun soon appeared- bursting in the sky- shining
equitably into their room- at the scheduled time!
with opened eyes, the couple rose- they both got clean-
and changed their clothes...
on the beach for a walk- they went hand in hand-
together making footprints- in the sand!
then followed the yellow brick road back up the hill-
back home back inside where they sat back down!
there was nowhere else- to go.-
and there was evening- and there was morning- it was
just another day!
then who gives a shit why write poem about it
Rachel give a shit. Rachel write poem.
& no give a shit. Why & read poem?
i guess the faggots like it
You realize that you've just called yourself a faggot, don't
you?
wow is dopey stupid . i win
Apparently & no understand.
i win
Michael Pendragon
2017-03-28 19:32:11 UTC
Permalink
Post by Michael Pendragon
Post by &
Post by Michael Pendragon
Post by &
Post by Michael Pendragon
Post by &
Post by Rachel
point -doom-
they sat at home, together yet apart- and all- was
quiet- and still-but not yet dark!
then the sun began to set- or so it seamed- beaming a
bevy of color- through their beachfront dream-
successively they did get up- now off to the local club
to sup- they got themselves all dressed up, too! a new
coat of tweed, and a gown of blue-
then they came home- and changed again- dressed to
retire- to rest, in their den.-
they went together sound to sleep in a bed soft and
fair, like banana leaves.
but the sun soon appeared- bursting in the sky- shining
equitably into their room- at the scheduled time!
with opened eyes, the couple rose- they both got clean-
and changed their clothes...
on the beach for a walk- they went hand in hand-
together making footprints- in the sand!
then followed the yellow brick road back up the hill-
back home back inside where they sat back down!
there was nowhere else- to go.-
and there was evening- and there was morning- it was
just another day!
then who gives a shit why write poem about it
Rachel give a shit. Rachel write poem.
& no give a shit. Why & read poem?
i guess the faggots like it
You realize that you've just called yourself a faggot, don't you?
wow is dopey stupid . i win
Apparently & no understand.
i win
Okay, & win -- & faggot.
l***@gmail.com
2017-03-27 23:34:57 UTC
Permalink
Post by Rachel
point -doom-
they sat at home, together
yet apart-
and all- was quiet-
and still-but not yet dark!
then the sun began to set-
or so it seamed-
beaming a bevy of color-
through their beachfront dream-
successively they did get up-
now off to the local club to sup-
they got themselves all dressed up, too!
a new coat of tweed, and a gown of blue-
then they came home-
and changed again-
dressed to retire-
to rest, in their den.-
they went together sound to sleep
in a bed soft and fair, like banana leaves.
but the sun soon appeared-
bursting in the sky-
shining equitably into their room-
at the scheduled time!
with opened eyes, the couple rose-
they both got clean-
and changed their clothes...
on the beach for a walk-
they went hand in hand-
together making footprints-
in the sand!
then followed the yellow brick road back up the hill-
back home
back inside
where they sat back down!
there was nowhere else-
to go.-
and there was evening-
and there was morning-
it was just another day!
I loved this it was rather epic to be so short......
Samsung Experience
2017-03-28 00:36:29 UTC
Permalink
Reminds me of a Kate Bush song from long ago....
Will Dockery
2017-03-28 01:33:02 UTC
Permalink
Say what?

Kate Bush..?

How so?
Rachel
2017-04-13 16:22:33 UTC
Permalink
Post by Rachel
point -doom-
they sat at home, together
yet apart-
and all- was quiet-
and still-but not yet dark!
then the sun began to set-
or so it seamed-
beaming a bevy of color-
through their beachfront dream-
successively they did get up-
now off to the local club to sup-
they got themselves all dressed up, too!
a new coat of tweed, and a gown of blue-
then they came home-
and changed again-
dressed to retire-
to rest, in their den.-
they went together sound to sleep
in a bed soft and fair, like banana leaves.
but the sun soon appeared-
bursting in the sky-
shining equitably into their room-
at the scheduled time!
with opened eyes, the couple rose-
they both got clean-
and changed their clothes...
on the beach for a walk-
they went hand in hand-
together making footprints-
in the sand!
then followed the yellow brick road back up the hill-
back home
back inside
where they sat back down!
there was nowhere else-
to go.-
and there was evening-
and there was morning-
it was just another day!
this is really picayune, but it bothers me.

the third line has an accidental space. shouldn't be there.

and all-was quiet-

should look like that.
Rachel
2017-04-13 17:39:56 UTC
Permalink
Post by Rachel
Post by Rachel
point -doom-
they sat at home, together
yet apart-
and all- was quiet-
and still-but not yet dark!
then the sun began to set-
or so it seamed-
beaming a bevy of color-
through their beachfront dream-
successively they did get up-
now off to the local club to sup-
they got themselves all dressed up, too!
a new coat of tweed, and a gown of blue-
then they came home-
and changed again-
dressed to retire-
to rest, in their den.-
they went together sound to sleep
in a bed soft and fair, like banana leaves.
but the sun soon appeared-
bursting in the sky-
shining equitably into their room-
at the scheduled time!
with opened eyes, the couple rose-
they both got clean-
and changed their clothes...
on the beach for a walk-
they went hand in hand-
together making footprints-
in the sand!
then followed the yellow brick road back up the hill-
back home
back inside
where they sat back down!
there was nowhere else-
to go.-
and there was evening-
and there was morning-
it was just another day!
this is really picayune, but it bothers me.
the third line has an accidental space. shouldn't be there.
and all-was quiet-
should look like that.
if i knew how to make the hyphens into dashes, i would...

i preferred one, though, to two hyphens. i tried it.
h***@gmail.com
2017-04-13 17:59:58 UTC
Permalink
For your information, a picayune has a constant value,
and is worth exactly one sixteenth of a dollar, which isn't
much all by itself of course, but they will add up over time,
with interest, if you're interested in adding one plus one
plus one, until you have enough for one In God we Trust.
Will-Dockery
2024-07-07 01:42:16 UTC
Permalink
Post by Rachel
point -doom
they sat at home, togethe
yet apart
and all- was quiet
and still-but not yet dark
then the sun began to set
or so it seamed
beaming a bevy of color
through their beachfront dream
successively they did get up
now off to the local club to sup
they got themselves all dressed up, too
a new coat of tweed, and a gown of blue
then they came home
and changed again
dressed to retire
to rest, in their den.
they went together sound to slee
in a bed soft and fair, like banana leaves
but the sun soon appeared
bursting in the sky
shining equitably into their room
at the scheduled time
with opened eyes, the couple rose
they both got clean
and changed their clothes..
on the beach for a walk
they went hand in hand
together making footprints
in the sand
then followed the yellow brick road back up the hill
back hom
back insid
where they sat back down
there was nowhere else
to go.
and there was evening
and there was morning
it was just another day
Actually, a favorite Rachel poem of mine


This is a response to the post seen at
http://www.jlaforums.com/viewtopic.php?p=659102940#65910294

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