Little God

[look for wings]

This is a poem from 1998 I want to put in my chapbook... any comments?



Little God

I am Little God
in my clear coat
with my dictionary
and a clean sword.

I am the future
like a white lion
resting calmly
in your living room.

I am the truth
made of short answers
ones and zeros
sum the whole world.

[Aidan Tynan]

look for wings wrote in message ...

Post by look for wings
This is a poem from 1998 I want to put in my chapbook... any comments?
Little God
I am Little God
in my clear coat
with my dictionary
and a clean sword.
I am the future
like a white lion
resting calmly
in your living room.
I am the truth
made of short answers
ones and zeros
sum the whole world.

Lose the last stanza, is my advice. It explains too much. Develop the
monologue of Little God a bit more.


-Aidan
the delf elf

Post by look for wings
--
"Never discourage anyone...who continually makes progress, no matter how
slow." - Plato

[UPOY Loves You]

Post by Aidan Tynan
. Develop the
monologue of Little God a bit more.

We all try, don't we, in our 'umble way.

[look for wings]

Post by Aidan Tynan
Lose the last stanza, is my advice. It explains too much.

I was thinking of dropping the one about the white lion (the middle stanza)
I'm a little in love with the "ones and zeros, sum the whole world."
nonsense-- did you find it *that* trite?

-S

[Aidan Tynan]

look for wings wrote in message ...

Post by look for wings

Post by Aidan Tynan
Lose the last stanza, is my advice. It explains too much.

I was thinking of dropping the one about the white lion (the middle stanza)
I'm a little in love with the "ones and zeros, sum the whole world."

I was wondering why a Little God would be familiar with binary logic, by I
suppose Dennis has a smart answer for that.


-Aidan

Post by look for wings
nonsense-- did you find it *that* trite?
-S
--
"Many people would sooner die than think; In fact, they do so."
- Bertrand Russell
http://www.futurebird.com/questions

[look for wings]

Post by Aidan Tynan
look for wings wrote in message ...

Post by look for wings

Post by Aidan Tynan
Lose the last stanza, is my advice. It explains too much.

I was thinking of dropping the one about the white lion (the middle stanza)
I'm a little in love with the "ones and zeros, sum the whole world."

I was wondering why a Little God would be familiar with binary logic, by I
suppose Dennis has a smart answer for that.

So I guess the last stanza fails to explain enough-- not too much-- it's not
fitting with the other two then?

-S

--
"He who is beautiful is good, and he who is good will soon be beautiful."
- Sappho
http://futurebird.diaryland.com

[Dennis M. Hammes]

Post by Aidan Tynan
look for wings wrote in message ...

Post by look for wings

Post by Aidan Tynan
Lose the last stanza, is my advice. It explains too much.

I was thinking of dropping the one about the white lion (the middle stanza)
I'm a little in love with the "ones and zeros, sum the whole world."

I was wondering why a Little God would be familiar with binary logic, by I
suppose Dennis has a smart answer for that.
-Aidan

Of course. Why you don't understand it.

[Will-Dockery]

Post by look for wings
This is a poem from 1998 I want to put in my chapbook... an

comments

Post by look for wings
Little Go
I am Little Go
in my clear coa
with my dictionar
and a clean sword
I am the futur
like a white lio
resting calmly
in your living room
I am the trut
made of short answer
ones and zero
sum the whole world
--
"Never discourage anyone...who continually makes progress, n

matter ho

Post by look for wings
slow." - Plat

More good poetry from Looks For Wings, from the archives


This is a response to the post seen at
http://www.jlaforums.com/viewtopic.php?p=658086776#65808677