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Repost: Doppler Effect
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h***@gmail.com
2019-03-04 16:40:28 UTC
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There's this thing that's on my mind,
a word that rings. I think you'll find
my mind consumed. Presume to know
what all, and why, I'd like to show
you now just how that ringing word
appears. It's clear to all who've heard
the word before. It sure does ring in
terms of Angel's voice when singing
praise. I raise my lance, defensive
not of what I've got, consent. Give
ear, and hear the word unfurling.
Voices join; send winds a whirl. Bring
this brief missive closure knowing
sound rebounds when ships are slowing.
h***@gmail.com
2019-03-04 18:32:40 UTC
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Is the 'ringing word' the poem alludes to clear enough?
General Zod
2019-03-05 05:25:07 UTC
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I dig it man.....
h***@gmail.com
2019-03-05 11:41:54 UTC
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Cool beans.
Will Dockery™
2019-03-05 13:17:39 UTC
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Post by h***@gmail.com
There's this thing that's on my mind,
a word that rings. I think you'll find
my mind consumed. Presume to know
what all, and why, I'd like to show
you now just how that ringing word
appears. It's clear to all who've heard
the word before. It sure does ring in
terms of Angel's voice when singing
praise. I raise my lance, defensive
not of what I've got, consent. Give
ear, and hear the word unfurling.
Voices join; send winds a whirl. Bring
this brief missive closure knowing
sound rebounds when ships are slowing.
This is one of the better poems I've read by Corey, who shows a heavy Shel Silverstein influence, I think.

https://pennyspoetry.fandom.com/wiki/Shel_Silverstein

You told me that Dennis M Hammes also compared your poetry to Shel Silverstein's poems... isn't that true?

😀
Michael Pendragon
2019-03-05 13:20:08 UTC
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Post by Will Dockery™
Post by h***@gmail.com
There's this thing that's on my mind,
a word that rings. I think you'll find
my mind consumed. Presume to know
what all, and why, I'd like to show
you now just how that ringing word
appears. It's clear to all who've heard
the word before. It sure does ring in
terms of Angel's voice when singing
praise. I raise my lance, defensive
not of what I've got, consent. Give
ear, and hear the word unfurling.
Voices join; send winds a whirl. Bring
this brief missive closure knowing
sound rebounds when ships are slowing.
This is one of the better poems I've read by Corey, who shows a heavy Shel Silverstein influence, I think.
https://pennyspoetry.fandom.com/wiki/Shel_Silverstein
You told me that Dennis M Hammes also compared your poetry to Shel Silverstein's poems... isn't that true?
Corey's more of a sophomoric Seuss.
h***@gmail.com
2019-03-05 13:34:10 UTC
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I was not influenced by Shel Silverstein at all, but several people,
including yourself and Hammes, have likened my poetry to his. I
was, however, influenced by Dr. Seuss to some extent, but people
who read it on a sophomoric level, like Michael, are for the most
part incapable of deciphering meaning beyond the superficial, or
applying that meaning to their real lives in any pragmatic way.
Will Dockery™
2019-03-05 13:40:50 UTC
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Post by h***@gmail.com
I was not influenced by Shel Silverstein at all, but several people,
including yourself and Hammes, have likened my poetry to his. I
was, however, influenced by Dr. Seuss to some extent, but people
who read it on a sophomoric level, like Michael, are for the most
part incapable of deciphering meaning beyond the superficial, or
applying that meaning to their real lives in any pragmatic way.
Okay, thanks, Corey.
Michael Pendragon
2019-03-05 13:45:15 UTC
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Post by h***@gmail.com
I was not influenced by Shel Silverstein at all, but several people,
including yourself and Hammes, have likened my poetry to his. I
was, however, influenced by Dr. Seuss to some extent, but people
who read it on a sophomoric level, like Michael, are for the most
part incapable of deciphering meaning beyond the superficial, or
applying that meaning to their real lives in any pragmatic way.
I can decipher meaning in the parts that aren't just gobbledygook, find them to be pretentious, overladen with metaphor (generally of the mixed var.), unfunny and in poor taste.

OTOH, I often appreciate your ability to create multiple internal rhymes, unusual rhymes, etc., although this is often done at the expense of coherency.
h***@gmail.com
2019-03-05 14:22:52 UTC
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Much appreciated, Michael. If you could provide an example of the indecipherable
gobbledygook you have difficulty with, that would be very, very helpful. Thank you!
h***@gmail.com
2019-03-05 16:35:40 UTC
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You do understand that I'm generally trying to be pretentious,
overladen with mixed metaphors, unfunny and in poor taste
though, don't you? It's not an accident you see it that way.
I just wish you appreciated what you're looking at more.
Coco DeSockmonkey
2019-03-05 16:45:31 UTC
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Post by h***@gmail.com
You do understand that I'm generally trying to be pretentious,
overladen with mixed metaphors, unfunny and in poor taste
though, don't you? It's not an accident you see it that way.
I just wish you appreciated what you're looking at more.
No. I can't imagine why you should wish your poetry to come across as such.
h***@gmail.com
2019-03-05 17:03:24 UTC
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Okay, great. So, for example, my poem Christian Existentialist
is written in the form of, or to the tune of, Modern Major General
by Gilbert and Sullivan, and is intended to be read in the same
pompous, pretentious type of voice as that of the Major General.
Coco DeSockmonkey
2019-03-05 17:16:10 UTC
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Post by h***@gmail.com
Okay, great. So, for example, my poem Christian Existentialist
is written in the form of, or to the tune of, Modern Major General
by Gilbert and Sullivan, and is intended to be read in the same
pompous, pretentious type of voice as that of the Major General.
Posting it for reference would be nice.

Not everyone has memorized all 6,000 of your poems.
h***@gmail.com
2019-03-05 17:20:39 UTC
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Sorry. I figured you took my reference.
I actually thought I was doing you a favor
by simply referencing it rather than reposting
the whole damn thing again. LOL
Coco DeSockmonkey
2019-03-05 18:32:04 UTC
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Post by h***@gmail.com
Sorry. I figured you took my reference.
I actually thought I was doing you a favor
by simply referencing it rather than reposting
the whole damn thing again. LOL
Okay. In that case I'll just take a guess:

The poem jokes about how you're "Hi," you talk about your penis, blow a fart and toss in an obscure, metaphorical allusion to a Biblical story.

Of course your poem's meter is clearly delineated that your readers should immediately recognize that it's set to the tune of a Gilbert and Sullivan song, and imagine that a similar character is speaking in your verse.

Yes... it's starting to come back to me, now...
h***@gmail.com
2019-03-05 18:35:50 UTC
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I reposted the poem in its own thread for your convenience.
Will Dockery™
2019-03-05 18:50:37 UTC
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This is the poem I compared to a Shel Silverstein style.

Will Dockery™
2019-03-05 18:41:10 UTC
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Well, if the poem is a good read, that's one point in your favor.
h***@gmail.com
2019-03-05 18:47:55 UTC
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If you read ithe poem and enjoy it, I'm glad. If
you have something to say about it, even better.
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