She Said (c&c)

[George J. Dance]

I posted this to the Sampler, to no comment. I'm posting it here just to see how it reads, since it's different from what I normally write, and I'm undecided about it at this point.


She Said

She said she loved me,
she always said she loved me
as she borrowed food or money
never returned,
or tokens, so her live-in man
could go to buy her crack,
taking her phone
while she talked to him on mine.

I reminded her of her father,
she said, her father
who would give her whatever
the little girl desired
all of her young life,
provided only
that she always said,
"I love you, Daddy."

[h***@gmail.com]

What are you undecided about?

[Will Dockery]

Post by George J. Dance

Post by Will Dockery

Post by George J. Dance
I posted this to the Sampler, to no comment. I'm posting it here just
to
see how it reads, since it's different from what I normally write, and
I'm
undecided about it at this point.
She Said
She said she loved me,
she always said she loved me
as she borrowed food or money
never returned,
or tokens, so her live-in man
could go to buy her crack,
taking her phone
while she talked to him on mine.
I reminded her of her father,
she said, her father
who would give her whatever
the little girl desired
all of her young life,
provided only
that she always said,
"I love you, Daddy."

Sorry I missed it in all the hubbub we're having here, George, but this
one
is striking, good work.
It the risk of inflaming Pendragon (hold up, he's not even here any
more,
Coko, don't look...), it reminds me of the best of Bukowski... sex,
drugs
and rock-n-roll with a touch of class.

Thanks, Will. I see the similarity to that kind of poetry, though I wasn't
consciously thinking of Buk at the time.

In a way, more of the Leonard Cohen bent... sexual and edgy, yet not the
crude language and imagery.

Perhaps looking up "Chelsea Hotel" got you clicking...?

[c***@gmail.com]

Post by Will Dockery

Post by George J. Dance

Post by Will Dockery

Post by George J. Dance
I posted this to the Sampler, to no comment. I'm posting it here just
to
see how it reads, since it's different from what I normally write, and
I'm
undecided about it at this point.
She Said
She said she loved me,
she always said she loved me
as she borrowed food or money
never returned,
or tokens, so her live-in man
could go to buy her crack,
taking her phone
while she talked to him on mine.
I reminded her of her father,
she said, her father
who would give her whatever
the little girl desired
all of her young life,
provided only
that she always said,
"I love you, Daddy."

Sorry I missed it in all the hubbub we're having here, George, but this
one
is striking, good work.
It the risk of inflaming Pendragon (hold up, he's not even here any
more,
Coko, don't look...), it reminds me of the best of Bukowski... sex,
drugs
and rock-n-roll with a touch of class.

Thanks, Will. I see the similarity to that kind of poetry, though I wasn't
consciously thinking of Buk at the time.

In a way, more of the Leonard Cohen bent... sexual and edgy, yet not the
crude language and imagery.
Perhaps looking up "Chelsea Hotel" got you clicking...?

I'm only a sockmonkey, but I understand the difference between "poet" and "folk singer."

[Will Dockery]

Post by Coco DeSockmonkey
Did Will sexually harass you at Doo-Nanny?

No... and that could be why he's so bitter about that weekend?

[drive-by]

Post by George J. Dance
I posted this to the Sampler, to no comment. I'm posting it here just to see how it reads, since it's different from what I normally write, and I'm undecided about it at this point.
She Said
She said she loved me,
she always said she loved me
as she borrowed food or money
never returned,
or tokens, so her live-in man
could go to buy her crack,
taking her phone
while she talked to him on mine.
I reminded her of her father,
she said, her father
who would give her whatever
the little girl desired
all of her young life,
provided only
that she always said,
"I love you, Daddy."

Missed it, sorry George..it isn't your best, basic she done me wrong...I do hope it isn't biographical...if so..you made it through to the other side, wiser.

J

[h***@gmail.com]

I don't know what George is reaching for with
this, but it has a vaguely smarmy feel to it,
like something Roy Moore might've written.

[George J. Dance]

Post by h***@gmail.com
I don't know what George is reaching for with
this, but it has a vaguely smarmy feel to it,
like something Roy Moore might've written.

I didn't know Roy Moore wrote poetry, Corey. Any online samples you're aware of?

[h***@gmail.com]

America the Beautiful
BY JUDGE ROY MOORE
http://morallaw.org/america-the-beautiful-by-judge-roy-moore/

America the Beautiful, or so you used to be,
Land of the Pilgrims’ pride, I’m glad they’re not here to see,
Babies piled in dumpsters, abortion on demand,
Oh, sweet land of liberty, your house is on the sand.

Your children wander aimlessly poisoned by cocaine,
Choosing to indulge their lusts, when God has said abstain.
From sea to shining sea this Nation has turned away,
From the teaching of God’s Law, and a need to always pray.

So many worldly pastors telling lies about our Rock,
Saying God is going broke so they can fleece the flock.
We’ve kept God in our temples, how foolish we have grown,
When all the earth is but His footstool, and Heaven is His throne.

We’ve voted in governments that are rotting to the core,
Appointing Godless judges who throw reason out the door.
Too soft to put a killer in a well deserved tomb,
But brave enough to kill that child before he leaves the womb.

You think that God’s not angry, that our land’s a moral slum?
How much longer will it be before His judgment comes?
And how can we face our God, from Whom we cannot hide?
What is left for us to do, but stem this evil tide!

For if we who are His children, will humbly turn and pray,
If we seek His holy face, and mend our evil way,
Then God will hear from Heaven and forgive us of our sins.
He’ll heal our sickly land and those who live within.

But, America the beautiful, if you don’t then you will see,
A sad but Holy God withdraw His hand from Thee.

[George J. Dance]

Post by h***@gmail.com
America the Beautiful
BY JUDGE ROY MOORE
http://morallaw.org/america-the-beautiful-by-judge-roy-moore/
America the Beautiful, or so you used to be,
Land of the Pilgrims’ pride, I’m glad they’re not here to see,
Babies piled in dumpsters, abortion on demand,
Oh, sweet land of liberty, your house is on the sand.
Your children wander aimlessly poisoned by cocaine,
Choosing to indulge their lusts, when God has said abstain.
From sea to shining sea this Nation has turned away,
From the teaching of God’s Law, and a need to always pray.
So many worldly pastors telling lies about our Rock,
Saying God is going broke so they can fleece the flock.
We’ve kept God in our temples, how foolish we have grown,
When all the earth is but His footstool, and Heaven is His throne.
We’ve voted in governments that are rotting to the core,
Appointing Godless judges who throw reason out the door.
Too soft to put a killer in a well deserved tomb,
But brave enough to kill that child before he leaves the womb.
You think that God’s not angry, that our land’s a moral slum?
How much longer will it be before His judgment comes?
And how can we face our God, from Whom we cannot hide?
What is left for us to do, but stem this evil tide!
For if we who are His children, will humbly turn and pray,
If we seek His holy face, and mend our evil way,
Then God will hear from Heaven and forgive us of our sins.
He’ll heal our sickly land and those who live within.
But, America the beautiful, if you don’t then you will see,
A sad but Holy God withdraw His hand from Thee.

Thank you. That was simply incredible.

[h***@gmail.com]

If by incredible you mean not credible, that's Roy Moore.

[George J. Dance]

Post by h***@gmail.com
If by incredible you mean not credible, that's Roy Moore.

And even if I hadn't meant that, that's still Roy Moore.

Post by h***@gmail.com
So many worldly pastors telling lies about our Rock,
Saying God is going broke so they can fleece the flock.
We’ve kept God in our temples, how foolish we have grown,
When all the earth is but His footstool, and Heaven is His throne.

[h***@gmail.com]

I have to admit I'm not sure what you meant by incredible, George, but
Roy Moore obviously hates churches like mine, and pastors like me.

[Will Dockery]

Post by h***@gmail.com
Roy Moore obviously hates churches like mine, and pastors like me.

Roy Moore loves his poetry and guitar, though:

http://reason.com/blog/2017/11/09/roy-moore-read-me-love-poetry

[h***@gmail.com]

You and he have a lot in common.

[c***@gmail.com]

Post by Will Dockery

Post by h***@gmail.com
Roy Moore obviously hates churches like mine, and pastors like me.

http://reason.com/blog/2017/11/09/roy-moore-read-me-love-poetry

Well, that's it, then.

Goodbye Shakespeare -- hello Eminem!

[Will Dockery]

Post by Will Dockery

Post by h***@gmail.com
Roy Moore obviously hates churches like mine, and pastors like me.

http://reason.com/blog/2017/11/09/roy-moore-read-me-love-poetry
Well, that's it, then.
Goodbye Shakespeare -- hello Eminem!

Egads...

[c***@gmail.com]

Post by George J. Dance

Post by h***@gmail.com
America the Beautiful
BY JUDGE ROY MOORE
http://morallaw.org/america-the-beautiful-by-judge-roy-moore/
America the Beautiful, or so you used to be,
Land of the Pilgrims’ pride, I’m glad they’re not here to see,
Babies piled in dumpsters, abortion on demand,
Oh, sweet land of liberty, your house is on the sand.
Your children wander aimlessly poisoned by cocaine,
Choosing to indulge their lusts, when God has said abstain.
From sea to shining sea this Nation has turned away,
From the teaching of God’s Law, and a need to always pray.
So many worldly pastors telling lies about our Rock,
Saying God is going broke so they can fleece the flock.
We’ve kept God in our temples, how foolish we have grown,
When all the earth is but His footstool, and Heaven is His throne.
We’ve voted in governments that are rotting to the core,
Appointing Godless judges who throw reason out the door.
Too soft to put a killer in a well deserved tomb,
But brave enough to kill that child before he leaves the womb.
You think that God’s not angry, that our land’s a moral slum?
How much longer will it be before His judgment comes?
And how can we face our God, from Whom we cannot hide?
What is left for us to do, but stem this evil tide!
For if we who are His children, will humbly turn and pray,
If we seek His holy face, and mend our evil way,
Then God will hear from Heaven and forgive us of our sins.
He’ll heal our sickly land and those who live within.
But, America the beautiful, if you don’t then you will see,
A sad but Holy God withdraw His hand from Thee.

Thank you. That was simply incredible.

I'm just a sockmonkey, but even I can see that this is just a didactic, religious-political rhyme (and a rather third-rate one at that).

[Will Dockery]

Post by George J. Dance

Post by Richard Oakley

Post by George J. Dance
I posted this to the Sampler, to no comment. I'm posting it here just
to see how it reads, since it's different from what I normally write,
and I'm undecided about it at this point.
She Said
She said she loved me,
she always said she loved me
as she borrowed food or money
(never returned,) drop this

that it's been going on for a while, and he's been letting it happen
(enabling it). Since it's mostly just his side, what he wants heard, I
thought it was too good to omit.

Post by Richard Oakley

Post by George J. Dance
or tokens, so her live-in man
could go to buy her crack, (crack is too blunt here)

Maybe so. I originally had "drugs," but I thought that was stereotyping
too many people. Even "crack" may be a stereotype, but it's one I keep
hearing from people; it provides one possible explanation of her actions.

Post by Richard Oakley

Post by George J. Dance
taking her phone
while she talked to him on mine.
I reminded her of her father,
she said, her father
who would give her whatever
the little girl desired
all of her young life,
provided only
that she always said,
"I love you, Daddy."

It comes off as a bit sterile and disingenuous.
I like the tone and all, but needs a little flesh.
r.

Tell me more about what it needs. Right now, I could go any which way
(including the round file) with this.

The crackhead personality is very much like the young lady you mention...
rather than some other kinds of drugs and their effect on the personality.

[George J. Dance]

Post by drive-by

Post by George J. Dance
I posted this to the Sampler, to no comment. I'm posting it here just to see how it reads, since it's different from what I normally write, and I'm undecided about it at this point.
She Said
She said she loved me,
she always said she loved me
as she borrowed food or money
never returned,
or tokens, so her live-in man
could go to buy her crack,
taking her phone
while she talked to him on mine.
I reminded her of her father,
she said, her father
who would give her whatever
the little girl desired
all of her young life,
provided only
that she always said,
"I love you, Daddy."

Missed it, sorry George..it isn't your best, basic she done me wrong...I do hope it isn't biographical...if so..you made it through to the other side, wiser.
J

Thanks for reading and for your candid opinion, jim.

[Will Dockery]

Post by Richard Oakley

Post by Will Dockery

Post by h***@gmail.com
I compared Will Dockery

https://www.reverbnation.com/willdockery
The real thing, accept no substitutes.

I think we all know the fucking link by heart,
by now, Will.

Okay, do you click it and listen, Richard?

[Richard Oakley]

Post by Will Dockery

Post by Richard Oakley

Post by Will Dockery

Post by h***@gmail.com
I compared Will Dockery

https://www.reverbnation.com/willdockery
The real thing, accept no substitutes.

I think we all know the fucking link by heart,
by now, Will

Okay, do you click it and listen, Richard?

I, personally, would be much more likely to if I had
to look for it instead of having it crammed down my
damn throat!

[h***@gmail.com]

You're no different than anyone else in that regard,
and you're not saying anything new that a thousand
other posters haven't said in a thousand different ways
over a very long period of time, but you'll eventually
come to realize and accept that you are essentially
talking to a wall, because he'll do it again, because
that is how he is, and that is what he does. Swallow.

[Me]

Richard, you’ve finally had enough of his pompous, self promotion.
But not to worry. He’ll just invent more profiles and sock puppets to come here to stroke his inflated ego.

[Will Dockery]

Post by Richard Oakley

Post by Will Dockery

Post by Richard Oakley

Post by Will Dockery

Post by h***@gmail.com
I compared Will Dockery to

https://www.reverbnation.com/willdockery

Post by Richard Oakley

Post by Will Dockery

Post by Richard Oakley

Post by Will Dockery
The real thing, accept no substitutes.

I think we all know the fucking link by heart,
by now, Will

Okay, do you click it and listen, Richard?

I, personally, would be much more likely to if I had
to look for it instead of having it crammed down my
damn throat!

I posted the link because Corey was "comparing" me to a famous criminal.

So I posted the link to my work and say skip the comparisons, pale imitations... go for the real thing.

Or drink a Coca-Cola...

:)

[h***@gmail.com]

I'm pretty sure I compared you to
an Alabama Republican candidate
for the United States Senate.

[Coco DeSockmonkey]

Post by h***@gmail.com
I'm pretty sure I compared you to
an Alabama Republican candidate
for the United States Senate.

But "criminal" just makes it so much more dramatic.

[h***@gmail.com]

Drama queens do what drama queens do.

[Will Dockery]

Post by h***@gmail.com
Drama queens do what drama queens do.

And you're one of the best at that game, Corey.

😀

[c***@gmail.com]

Post by Will Dockery

Post by h***@gmail.com
Drama queens do what drama queens do.

And you're one of the best at that game, Corey.

Someone should organize the First Annual AAPC Drama Queen Pageant.

[Me]

That’s one contest it (will) could win without having to cheat.

[h***@gmail.com]

Maybe that's why I recognized
your 'famous criminal' comment
as that of a drama queen.

[George J. Dance]

Post by Coco DeSockmonkey

Post by h***@gmail.com
I'm pretty sure I compared you to
an Alabama Republican candidate
for the United States Senate.

But "criminal" just makes it so much more dramatic.

"Lawbreaker" would probably be more correct.

[Will Dockery]

Post by George J. Dance

Post by Coco DeSockmonkey

Post by h***@gmail.com
I'm pretty sure I compared you to
an Alabama Republican candidate
for the United States Senate.

But "criminal" just makes it so much more dramatic.

"Lawbreaker" would probably be more correct.

Comparing me to the guy at all was a stretch, no matter what we label his actions as being.

[George J. Dance]

Post by Will Dockery

Post by George J. Dance

Post by Coco DeSockmonkey

Post by h***@gmail.com
I'm pretty sure I compared you to
an Alabama Republican candidate
for the United States Senate.

But "criminal" just makes it so much more dramatic.

"Lawbreaker" would probably be more correct.

Comparing me to the guy at all was a stretch, no matter what we label his actions as being.

He compared my last poem to Roy Moore's poetry, too. He seems a bit 'obsessed' with Moore these days; mind you, he's not alone.

[Me]

If you’re referring to She Said, it’s sounds like you’ve reading too much of wills trash. It affecting your prose.
Get you’re head out of the clowns butt and then respond.

[h***@gmail.com]

He can't. That's where he lives.

[George J. Dance]

Post by Me
If you’re referring to She Said,

Yes, Me: that's the thread we're writing in.

Post by Me
it’s sounds like you’ve reading too much of wills trash.

You're right. As you know, I spent a month reading and editing 4 of his poems, and that was my biggest stylistic influence. Notice that only one regular liked SS? Notice who that was?

Post by Me
It affecting your prose.

Me: your opinions would have a lot more cred if you'd just bother to learn the vocabulary. So please stop calling verse 'prose'.

Verse is English written by line, using meter or rhythm. Prose is not; prose is normal sentence/paragraph writing. Your post to me was written in prose; my reply to you is written in prose. It's easy to get wrong, because "prose" sounds like "poetry"; but they're not only not the same thing, but usually (because most poetry is written in verse) the opposite.

That's the kind of thing I'd prefer to be talking about on aapc; YMMVAD.

Post by Me
Get you’re head out of the clowns butt and then respond.

Sorry, but the 'clown' of aapc is and always shall be Gary Gamble, who used to post here under a variety of aliases, most recently as ***@hotmail.com. Apparently he was a singer, too, though:

[h***@gmail.com]

See, told you so. He can't. That's where he lives.

[c***@gmail.com]

Post by George J. Dance

Post by Me
If you’re referring to She Said,

Yes, Me: that's the thread we're writing in.

Post by Me
it’s sounds like you’ve reading too much of wills trash.

You're right. As you know, I spent a month reading and editing 4 of his poems, and that was my biggest stylistic influence. Notice that only one regular liked SS? Notice who that was?

Post by Me
It affecting your prose.

Me: your opinions would have a lot more cred if you'd just bother to learn the vocabulary. So please stop calling verse 'prose'.

I believe he was referring to your posts in this thread.

Post by George J. Dance
Verse is English written by line, using meter or rhythm. Prose is not; prose is normal sentence/paragraph writing. Your post to me was written in prose; my reply to you is written in prose. It's easy to get wrong, because "prose" sounds like "poetry"; but they're not only not the same thing, but usually (because most poetry is written in verse) the opposite.
That's the kind of thing I'd prefer to be talking about on aapc; YMMVAD.

Post by Me
Get you’re head out of the clowns butt and then respond.

http://youtu.be/T9nR9Nw86nk

Get out!

And here I'd thought that A.A.P.C. stood for the Artistic Alliance of Performing Clowns.

[Me]

Coco, it does.

[Will Dockery]

Looks like "Me" is calling George's poem "She Said" prose, since this us not the first time he's done this.

[George J. Dance]

Post by c***@gmail.com

Post by George J. Dance

Post by Me
If you’re referring to She Said,

Yes, Me: that's the thread we're writing in.

Post by Me
it’s sounds like you’ve reading too much of wills trash.

You're right. As you know, I spent a month reading and editing 4 of his poems, and that was my biggest stylistic influence. Notice that only one regular liked SS? Notice who that was?

Post by Me
It affecting your prose.

Me: your opinions would have a lot more cred if you'd just bother to learn the vocabulary. So please stop calling verse 'prose'.

I believe he was referring to your posts in this thread.

As he made clear, he was "referring to She Said". Do you mean he was deliberately trying to insult "She Said" by calling it "prose"? As long as he doesn't prefix that with "chopped-up", I guess it's fair comment.

Post by c***@gmail.com

Post by George J. Dance
Verse is English written by line, using meter or rhythm. Prose is not; prose is normal sentence/paragraph writing. Your post to me was written in prose; my reply to you is written in prose. It's easy to get wrong, because "prose" sounds like "poetry"; but they're not only not the same thing, but usually (because most poetry is written in verse) the opposite.
That's the kind of thing I'd prefer to be talking about on aapc; YMMVAD.

Post by Me
Get you’re head out of the clowns butt and then respond.

http://youtu.be/T9nR9Nw86nk

Get out!
And here I'd thought that A.A.P.C. stood for the Artistic Alliance of Performing Clowns.

Then why, oh why, did your lord and master try to ban discussion here of Bob Dylan?

win, set, and match to me.

[Will Dockery]

Post by George J. Dance

Post by Will Dockery

Post by George J. Dance

Post by Coco DeSockmonkey

Post by h***@gmail.com
I'm pretty sure I compared you to
an Alabama Republican candidate
for the United States Senate.

But "criminal" just makes it so much more dramatic.

"Lawbreaker" would probably be more correct.

Comparing me to the guy at all was a stretch, no matter what we label his actions as being.

He compared my last poem to Roy Moore's poetry, too. He seems a bit 'obsessed' with Moore these days; mind you, he's not alone.

Yes, I noticed that, it was the poem this thread is about, if my memory serves me well, correct?

[George J. Dance]

Post by Will Dockery

Post by George J. Dance

Post by Will Dockery

Post by George J. Dance

Post by Coco DeSockmonkey

Post by h***@gmail.com
I'm pretty sure I compared you to
an Alabama Republican candidate
for the United States Senate.

But "criminal" just makes it so much more dramatic.

"Lawbreaker" would probably be more correct.

Comparing me to the guy at all was a stretch, no matter what we label his actions as being.

He compared my last poem to Roy Moore's poetry, too. He seems a bit 'obsessed' with Moore these days; mind you, he's not alone.

Yes, I noticed that, it was the poem this thread is about, if my memory serves me well, correct?

Yes, it was right here in this thread. He deleted his coment, but it's archived in my reply. He then posted a Roy Moore poem, which had nothing in common with mine; stylistically, it was more in the style of the dear departed Michael Pendragon, but without the metrical skill.

Moore's poem was judgmental, and more than a bit self-righteous; and maybe Corey got that from "She Said", too.

[h***@gmail.com]

That's "simply incredible", George.

[George J. Dance]

Post by h***@gmail.com
That's "simply incredible", George.

It's all in the narkive. Can't get more credible than that.

[Me]

Gd made a post. I guess that’s the best way to describe it then.

[Will Dockery]

Post by George J. Dance
I posted this to the Sampler, to no comment. I'm posting it here just to
see how it reads, since it's different from what I normally write, and I'm
undecided about it at this point.
She Said
She said she loved me,
she always said she loved me
as she borrowed food or money
never returned,
or tokens, so her live-in man
could go to buy her crack,
taking her phone
while she talked to him on mine.
I reminded her of her father,
she said, her father
who would give her whatever
the little girl desired
all of her young life,
provided only
that she always said,
"I love you, Daddy."

Sorry I missed it in all the hubbub we're having here, George, but this one
is striking, good work.

It the risk of inflaming Pendragon (hold up, he's not even here any more,
Coko, don't look...), it reminds me of the best of Bukowski... sex, drugs
and rock-n-roll with a touch of class.

[George J. Dance]

Post by Will Dockery

Post by George J. Dance
I posted this to the Sampler, to no comment. I'm posting it here just to
see how it reads, since it's different from what I normally write, and I'm
undecided about it at this point.
She Said
She said she loved me,
she always said she loved me
as she borrowed food or money
never returned,
or tokens, so her live-in man
could go to buy her crack,
taking her phone
while she talked to him on mine.
I reminded her of her father,
she said, her father
who would give her whatever
the little girl desired
all of her young life,
provided only
that she always said,
"I love you, Daddy."

Sorry I missed it in all the hubbub we're having here, George, but this one
is striking, good work.
It the risk of inflaming Pendragon (hold up, he's not even here any more,
Coko, don't look...), it reminds me of the best of Bukowski... sex, drugs
and rock-n-roll with a touch of class.

Thanks, Will. I see the similarity to that kind of poetry, though I wasn't consciously thinking of Buk at the time.

[c***@gmail.com]

Post by Will Dockery

Post by George J. Dance
I posted this to the Sampler, to no comment. I'm posting it here just to
see how it reads, since it's different from what I normally write, and I'm
undecided about it at this point.
She Said
She said she loved me,
she always said she loved me
as she borrowed food or money
never returned,
or tokens, so her live-in man
could go to buy her crack,
taking her phone
while she talked to him on mine.
I reminded her of her father,
she said, her father
who would give her whatever
the little girl desired
all of her young life,
provided only
that she always said,
"I love you, Daddy."

Sorry I missed it in all the hubbub we're having here, George, but this one
is striking, good work.
It the risk of inflaming Pendragon (hold up, he's not even here any more,
Coko, don't look...), it reminds me of the best of Bukowski... sex, drugs
and rock-n-roll with a touch of class.

I'm just a sockmonkey. I don't even know what a Bukowski is.

[Richard Oakley]

Post by George J. Dance
I posted this to the Sampler, to no comment. I'm posting it here just to see how it reads, since it's different from what I normally write, and I'm undecided about it at this point.
She Said
She said she loved me,
she always said she loved me
as she borrowed food or money
(never returned,) drop this
or tokens, so her live-in man
could go to buy her crack, (crack is too blunt here)
taking her phone
while she talked to him on mine.
I reminded her of her father,
she said, her father
who would give her whatever
the little girl desired
all of her young life,
provided onlya
that she always said,
"I love you, Daddy."

It comes off as a bit sterile and disingenuous.
I like the tone and all, but needs a little flesh.

r.

[George J. Dance]

Post by Richard Oakley

Post by George J. Dance
I posted this to the Sampler, to no comment. I'm posting it here just to see how it reads, since it's different from what I normally write, and I'm undecided about it at this point.
She Said
She said she loved me,
she always said she loved me
as she borrowed food or money
(never returned,) drop this

I thought it gave a good, accidental look at the speaker's personality: that it's been going on for a while, and he's been letting it happen (enabling it). Since it's mostly just his side, what he wants heard, I thought it was too good to omit.

Post by Richard Oakley

Post by George J. Dance
or tokens, so her live-in man
could go to buy her crack, (crack is too blunt here)

Maybe so. I originally had "drugs," but I thought that was stereotyping too many people. Even "crack" may be a stereotype, but it's one I keep hearing from people; it provides one possible explanation of her actions.

Post by Richard Oakley

Post by George J. Dance
taking her phone
while she talked to him on mine.
I reminded her of her father,
she said, her father
who would give her whatever
the little girl desired
all of her young life,
provided only
that she always said,
"I love you, Daddy."

It comes off as a bit sterile and disingenuous.
I like the tone and all, but needs a little flesh.
r.

Tell me more about what it needs. Right now, I could go any which way (including the round file) with this.

[drive-by]

Post by George J. Dance

Post by Richard Oakley

Post by George J. Dance
I posted this to the Sampler, to no comment. I'm posting it here just to see how it reads, since it's different from what I normally write, and I'm undecided about it at this point.
She Said
She said she loved me,
she always said she loved me
as she borrowed food or money
(never returned,) drop this

I thought it gave a good, accidental look at the speaker's personality: that it's been going on for a while, and he's been letting it happen (enabling it). Since it's mostly just his side, what he wants heard, I thought it was too good to omit.

Post by Richard Oakley

Post by George J. Dance
or tokens, so her live-in man
could go to buy her crack, (crack is too blunt here)

Maybe so. I originally had "drugs," but I thought that was stereotyping too many people. Even "crack" may be a stereotype, but it's one I keep hearing from people; it provides one possible explanation of her actions.

Post by Richard Oakley

Post by George J. Dance
taking her phone
while she talked to him on mine.
I reminded her of her father,
she said, her father
who would give her whatever
the little girl desired
all of her young life,
provided only
that she always said,
"I love you, Daddy."

It comes off as a bit sterile and disingenuous.
I like the tone and all, but needs a little flesh.
r.

Tell me more about what it needs. Right now, I could go any which way (including the round file) with this.

May I? It isn't you. The story has been told throughout story telling...Round file with respect...It lacks a different point of view rather than the obvious...

J

[George J. Dance]

Post by drive-by

Post by George J. Dance

Post by Richard Oakley

Post by George J. Dance
I posted this to the Sampler, to no comment. I'm posting it here just to see how it reads, since it's different from what I normally write, and I'm undecided about it at this point.
She Said
She said she loved me,
she always said she loved me
as she borrowed food or money
(never returned,) drop this

I thought it gave a good, accidental look at the speaker's personality: that it's been going on for a while, and he's been letting it happen (enabling it). Since it's mostly just his side, what he wants heard, I thought it was too good to omit.

Post by Richard Oakley

Post by George J. Dance
or tokens, so her live-in man
could go to buy her crack, (crack is too blunt here)

Maybe so. I originally had "drugs," but I thought that was stereotyping too many people. Even "crack" may be a stereotype, but it's one I keep hearing from people; it provides one possible explanation of her actions.

Post by Richard Oakley

Post by George J. Dance
taking her phone
while she talked to him on mine.
I reminded her of her father,
she said, her father
who would give her whatever
the little girl desired
all of her young life,
provided only
that she always said,
"I love you, Daddy."

It comes off as a bit sterile and disingenuous.
I like the tone and all, but needs a little flesh.
r.

Tell me more about what it needs. Right now, I could go any which way (including the round file) with this.

May I? It isn't you. The story has been told throughout story telling...Round file with respect...It lacks a different point of view rather than the obvious...
J

OK, thanks again.

[c***@gmail.com]

Post by George J. Dance

Post by Richard Oakley

Post by George J. Dance
I posted this to the Sampler, to no comment. I'm posting it here just to see how it reads, since it's different from what I normally write, and I'm undecided about it at this point.
She Said
She said she loved me,
she always said she loved me
as she borrowed food or money
(never returned,) drop this

I thought it gave a good, accidental look at the speaker's personality: that it's been going on for a while, and he's been letting it happen (enabling it). Since it's mostly just his side, what he wants heard, I thought it was too good to omit.

Post by Richard Oakley

Post by George J. Dance
or tokens, so her live-in man
could go to buy her crack, (crack is too blunt here)

Maybe so. I originally had "drugs," but I thought that was stereotyping too many people. Even "crack" may be a stereotype, but it's one I keep hearing from people; it provides one possible explanation of her actions.

Post by Richard Oakley

Post by George J. Dance
taking her phone
while she talked to him on mine.
I reminded her of her father,
she said, her father
who would give her whatever
the little girl desired
all of her young life,
provided only
that she always said,
"I love you, Daddy."

It comes off as a bit sterile and disingenuous.
I like the tone and all, but needs a little flesh.
r.

Tell me more about what it needs. Right now, I could go any which way (including the round file) with this.

I had a mate once ... but she was too darned-holey, so they ended up wiping the bathroom floor with her. (Sniff.)

[Will Dockery]

Coco, Leonard Cohen was a poet for years before he became a folk rocker.

:)

[c***@gmail.com]

Post by Will Dockery
Coco, Leonard Cohen was a poet for years before he became a folk rocker.

He only called himself a poet ... until he could save up enough money to buy a guitar.

[Will Dockery]

Post by c***@gmail.com

Post by Will Dockery
Coco, Leonard Cohen was a poet for years before he became a folk rocker.

He only called himself a poet ... until he could save up enough money to buy a guitar.

Cohen also wrote a couple of novels while he was waiting on that guitar...

[Coco DeSockmonkey]

Post by Will Dockery

Post by c***@gmail.com

Post by Will Dockery
Coco, Leonard Cohen was a poet for years before he became a folk rocker.

He only called himself a poet ... until he could save up enough money to buy a guitar.

Cohen also wrote a couple of novels while he was waiting on that guitar...

I'm still saving up for my guitar, and am churning out a good six novels a year. My latest effort is called "Banana Mutants," and is about a group of renegade sock monkeys who venture into the Georgia swamps to hunt down these legendary fruit-creatures. It's published in a series of syndicated chapbooks from my own "Monkeyshines Press."

[George J. Dance]

Post by c***@gmail.com

Post by Will Dockery
Coco, Leonard Cohen was a poet for years before he became a folk rocker.

He only called himself a poet ... until he could save up enough money to buy a guitar.

Actually, monkey, Cohen was not just a poet but a prize winning one - he didn't give himself the GG (closest thing we've got up here to the Pulitzers).

Problem is, here as in the U.S., poetry is not a career. Cohen first tried support himself writing novels, but the first 2 failed, which is when he began the singer/songwriter thing.

[Coco DeSockmonkey]

Post by George J. Dance

Post by c***@gmail.com

Post by Will Dockery
Coco, Leonard Cohen was a poet for years before he became a folk rocker.

He only called himself a poet ... until he could save up enough money to buy a guitar.

Actually, monkey, Cohen was not just a poet but a prize winning one - he didn't give himself the GG (closest thing we've got up here to the Pulitzers).
Problem is, here as in the U.S., poetry is not a career. Cohen first tried support himself writing novels, but the first 2 failed, which is when he began the singer/songwriter thing.

Actually, canuck, my name is Coco.

His GG only bespeaks the dearth of poetry in present day Canada.

[Will Dockery]

Post by George J. Dance

Post by c***@gmail.com

Post by Will Dockery
Coco, Leonard Cohen was a poet for years before he became a folk rocker.

He only called himself a poet ... until he could save up enough money to buy a guitar.

Actually, monkey, Cohen was not just a poet but a prize winning one - he didn't give himself the GG (closest thing we've got up here to the Pulitzers).
Problem is, here as in the U.S., poetry is not a career. Cohen first tried support himself writing novels, but the first 2 failed, which is when he began the singer/songwriter thing.

Exactly.

[Will Dockery]

Who does, Hi?

[h***@gmail.com]

Excuse me for not making myself Moore clear.
Will Dockery and Roy Moore have a lot in common.

[Will Dockery]

I thought you were claiming that.

Typically Corey b.s. of course, though.

😀

[h***@gmail.com]

Nothing but the truth, Dockery.

[Will Dockery]

I see zero truth in it, Corey.

As I wrote earlier, just more of your typical attempts to misrepresent me.

😀

[h***@gmail.com]

You both hail from the sme area.
Roy Moore loves his poetry and guitar.
Will Dockery loves his poetry and guitar.
Roy Moore disrespects churches like mine, and pastors like me.
Will Dockery disrespects my church and Pastorship.
Roy Moore and women?
See how Will Dockery treats women here.
The similarities are astounding.

[Will Dockery]

How did I disrespect your church?

[h***@gmail.com]

Figure it out for yourself, then
stop it. Just stop it, Dockery.

[Will Dockery]

I think you have mistaken me with someone else, Corey.

😀

[h***@gmail.com]

I never mistake you for anyone else, Dockery.
That would be impossible. You're unmistakable.

[Will Dockery]

Post by h***@gmail.com
I never mistake you for anyone else, Dockery.
That would be impossible. You're unmistakable.

And your misrepresentations and false statements about me point to an unmistakable agenda of yours to attempt to smear me and my name, Corey.

You'd make a great politician, as you probably know, Corey.

:)

[Coco DeSockmonkey]

Post by Will Dockery

Post by h***@gmail.com
I never mistake you for anyone else, Dockery.
That would be impossible. You're unmistakable.

And your misrepresentations and false statements about me point to an unmistakable agenda of yours to attempt to smear me and my name, Corey.
You'd make a great politician, as you probably know, Corey.

I find no misrepresentation in Corey's statement -- you certainly are unmistakable.

[Will Dockery]

Post by Coco DeSockmonkey
I find no misrepresentation in Corey's statement -- you certainly are unmistakable.

Well, that's obviously true:

https://www.reverbnation.com/willdockery

What I object to are Corey's attempts at smearing me, comparing me with people that are nothing like me, for example.

[h***@gmail.com]

I compared Will Dockery to Roy Moore,
because they have a lot in common.
That's a simple fact, not a smear.
In fact, saying it's a smear makes you
sound even more like Moore,
who is presently saying everything
said against him is a smear.

[Will Dockery]

Post by h***@gmail.com
I compared Will Dockery

https://www.reverbnation.com/willdockery

The real thing, accept no sustitutes.

:)

[h***@gmail.com]

Post-edit all you like. There are no 'sustitutes' for the truth.

[Richard Oakley]

Post by Will Dockery

Post by h***@gmail.com
I compared Will Dockery

https://www.reverbnation.com/willdockery
The real thing, accept no sustitutes.

I think we all know the fucking link by heart,
by now, Will.

Post by Will Dockery
:)

[Coco DeSockmonkey]

Post by h***@gmail.com
I compared Will Dockery to Roy Moore,
because they have a lot in common.
That's a simple fact, not a smear.
In fact, saying it's a smear makes you
sound even more like Moore,
who is presently saying everything
said against him is a smear.

Because of the sexual harassment allegations or the alleged homophobia?

[h***@gmail.com]

I don't understand the question in terms of either/or.

[h***@gmail.com]

I have no such agenda, as it would be impossible
to smear you and your name any more than you
already have. My commentary and actions are,
and have always been in your best interests,
whether you choose to accept that or not. I may
not be your pastor, but I am a pastor, and take
my pastorly role seriously, even if you don't.
The idea that I misrepresent you is ludicrous.

[Will Dockery]

Exactly, Corey, and your observations and comparisons are not truth.

[h***@gmail.com]

You're wrong. Everything I wrote was the truth.
Admit you were wrong and apologize, and well
move on, or face the wrath of the truth like Roy.

[Coco DeSockmonkey]

Post by h***@gmail.com
You're wrong. Everything I wrote was the truth.
Admit you were wrong and apologize, and well
move on, or face the wrath of the truth like Roy.

Did Will sexually harass you at Doo-Nanny?

[h***@gmail.com]

His recent comments here in regard to his sexual
excitement at that event speak for themselves.

[Coco DeSockmonkey]

Post by h***@gmail.com
His recent comments here in regard to his sexual
excitement at that event speak for themselves.

I wouldn't know about such things. I'm just a sockmonkey.

[h***@gmail.com]

Sorry. I forgot you can't read.

[c***@gmail.com]

Post by h***@gmail.com
Sorry. I forgot you can't read.

Did he bad-touch you?

[h***@gmail.com]

His account speaks for itself.

[c***@gmail.com]

Post by h***@gmail.com
His account speaks for itself.

Will: I didn't much care fer to hang out with him, so's I sends him off to the woods with a few of my buds. Next day he was strangely silent and walking kinda funny ...

[h***@gmail.com]

If you say so.

[Will Dockery]

Post by c***@gmail.com

Post by h***@gmail.com
Sorry. I forgot you can't read.

Did he bad-touch you?

No... is that why he's so upset?

:)

[Will Dockery]

No, you're wrong, or rather your comparison is.

I realize you're probably just confused, as you so often are.

[Will Dockery]

Oh yes, for the record, this is another thread discussing poetry.

That makes, what, two poems discussed this week?

[Me]

Gd you, who claims to be proof reading shit for Brillo for a chap book, is going to give me English lessons. That’s just fucking rich!

[h***@gmail.com]

He won't get rich proof reading shit for Brillo; that's for sure.

[Will Dockery]

Do you dispute his definitions of prose and verse?

[George J. Dance]

Post by Me
Gd you, who claims to be proof reading shit for Brillo for a chap book, is going to give me English lessons. That’s just fucking rich!

There are a lot of worse people to ask for English advice than a proofreader, you know.