Discussion:
Haiku Syllables
(too old to reply)
Dennis M. Hammes
2003-10-29 02:18:39 UTC
Permalink
sheila miguez wrote [elsewhere]:
...
Once you had a post explaining the essense of kigo and how (I'll steal
your language?) we should touch our earth and not the earth of another.
(i.e. if you don't have cherry blossoms, why use them? I have magnolias
or mimosas.) I just bring it up to say that I enjoyed the post. It was a
good discussion.
Heh. I got into a knock-down drag-out with a Doctor of Harvardness
over replacing local fauna in Urdu with local fauna in American
rather than translating the dirt-common into the foreign exotic.
Fortunately for me, "cherry," "apple," and "lilac" all have two
syllables.
And right there, you have the core of the problem; in Japanese,
"apple" doesn't seem to exist (traditionally), "cherry" has three,
and "lilac" (there an import) has four.
The infamous "autumn wind" I'm going on about at the moment takes
five grammatically (/aki-no kaze/), four "poetically" (/akikaze mo/,
/akikaze ya/, etc.), and the point is that if the /content/-form
demands the image, "autumn wind," isolated on the last line, then
the "proper haiku form" has only three syllables in that haiku in
English: "Autumn wind."
"Late October wind," with five syllables, is full of chaff, even
the shit of being so specific as to kill the actual concept.
And Arabic is, at least, an Indo-European language, stressed and
footed; thus, English iambic pentameter works just fine in the
ghazal, where "5-7-5" in English is anathema to the whole dam'
/idea/ of haikai /or/ Zen.
["...or Japanese."]
Writing 5/7/5 and 7/7 is like solving a puzzle. it can be fun.
Poultry forms are /all/ fun games. And every form excludes about
90% of the universe from discussion.
Re haiku, I've been over what 5/7/5 in /English/ excludes 'til I'm
blue in the face (some day, I shall clean up the notes and put them
as a "book"), but will put this, anyway:
If the requirements of the 'ku in English say to put "snap, snap,
snap," you /don't/ put, "drag, drag, drag, drag, drag."
You don't even put "snap, crackle, crackle."
In defense of my friend, his intent was to josh his friend on the spur of
the moment. I suspect he is unfamiliar with haiku beyond an idea about
5/7/5. In my followup I wanted to introduce the topic.
Since he used 5/7/5, I constrained my self to 7/7.
The [English] form is much-discussed by Japanese and American
masters, and even the Japanese agree that 17 syllables is too much
for /Anglo-Saxon/ English; the English masters concur that the
/Latinate/ English words, though they'd fill (and overfill) the
syllable requirements are simply less than poetic for most
purposes. They're an addendum (for English) of classification
words, and haiku want objects to point to; in English, those are
almost all short Anglo-Saxon, cumulatively too short for 17-syllable
haiku because Anglish has 36 vowels on which to form short words
(Shaw says 41 in Britain).
I was arguing with Athene on this all supper; we concur that
French could easily stick to 5/7/5, and German probably could;
German has 8 vowels, French has six; Spanish, Latin, and Japanese
have the same five.
Arguing the thesis conversely, the simple fact is that /nobody/
can write "true" (5/7/5) haiku in English; the /language/ won't
permit both the rules of content and the rules of form to be
satisfied simultaneously.
Yet the /content/ part of the form is so persuasive as a concept
that the "little, fragmented lines" translations of haiku gave us
this "little, fragmented lines" form of modern English poultry.
--
-------(m+
~/:o)_|
A designer knows he has achieved perfection not when there is
nothing left
to add, but when there is nothing left to take away. --
Saint-Exupéry
http://scrawlmark.org
Will-Dockery
2024-05-03 13:35:28 UTC
Permalink
Post by Dennis M. Hammes
Post by Dennis M. Hammes
Post by Dennis M. Hammes
Post by Dennis M. Hammes
Post by Dennis M. Hammes
sheila miguez wrote [elsewhere]
...
Once you had a post explaining the essense of kigo and ho
(I'll stea
Post by Dennis M. Hammes
Post by Dennis M. Hammes
Post by Dennis M. Hammes
Post by Dennis M. Hammes
Post by Dennis M. Hammes
your language?) we should touch our earth and not the eart
of another
Post by Dennis M. Hammes
Post by Dennis M. Hammes
Post by Dennis M. Hammes
Post by Dennis M. Hammes
Post by Dennis M. Hammes
(i.e. if you don't have cherry blossoms, why use them?
have magnolia
Post by Dennis M. Hammes
Post by Dennis M. Hammes
Post by Dennis M. Hammes
Post by Dennis M. Hammes
Post by Dennis M. Hammes
or mimosas.) I just bring it up to say that I enjoyed th
post. It was
Post by Dennis M. Hammes
Post by Dennis M. Hammes
Post by Dennis M. Hammes
Post by Dennis M. Hammes
Post by Dennis M. Hammes
good discussion
Heh. I got into a knock-down drag-out with a Doctor o
Harvardnes
Post by Dennis M. Hammes
Post by Dennis M. Hammes
Post by Dennis M. Hammes
Post by Dennis M. Hammes
over replacing local fauna in Urdu with local fauna i
America
Post by Dennis M. Hammes
Post by Dennis M. Hammes
Post by Dennis M. Hammes
Post by Dennis M. Hammes
rather than translating the dirt-common into the foreig
exotic
Post by Dennis M. Hammes
Post by Dennis M. Hammes
Post by Dennis M. Hammes
Post by Dennis M. Hammes
Fortunately for me, "cherry," "apple,
and "lilac" all have tw
Post by Dennis M. Hammes
Post by Dennis M. Hammes
Post by Dennis M. Hammes
Post by Dennis M. Hammes
syllables
And right there, you have the core of the problem; i
Japanese
Post by Dennis M. Hammes
Post by Dennis M. Hammes
Post by Dennis M. Hammes
Post by Dennis M. Hammes
"apple" doesn't seem to exist (traditionally)
"cherry" has three
Post by Dennis M. Hammes
Post by Dennis M. Hammes
Post by Dennis M. Hammes
Post by Dennis M. Hammes
and "lilac" (there an import) has four
The infamous "autumn wind" I'm going on about a
the moment take
Post by Dennis M. Hammes
Post by Dennis M. Hammes
Post by Dennis M. Hammes
Post by Dennis M. Hammes
five grammatically (/aki-no kaze/), fou
"poetically" (/akikaze mo/
Post by Dennis M. Hammes
Post by Dennis M. Hammes
Post by Dennis M. Hammes
Post by Dennis M. Hammes
/akikaze ya/, etc.), and the point is that if th
/content/-for
Post by Dennis M. Hammes
Post by Dennis M. Hammes
Post by Dennis M. Hammes
Post by Dennis M. Hammes
demands the image, "autumn wind," isolated on th
last line, the
Post by Dennis M. Hammes
Post by Dennis M. Hammes
Post by Dennis M. Hammes
Post by Dennis M. Hammes
the "proper haiku form" has only three syllables i
that haiku i
Post by Dennis M. Hammes
Post by Dennis M. Hammes
Post by Dennis M. Hammes
Post by Dennis M. Hammes
English: "Autumn wind.
"Late October wind," with five syllables, is ful
of chaff, eve
Post by Dennis M. Hammes
Post by Dennis M. Hammes
Post by Dennis M. Hammes
Post by Dennis M. Hammes
the sh*t of being so specific as to kill the actual concept
And Arabic is, at least, an Indo-European language, stresse
an
Post by Dennis M. Hammes
Post by Dennis M. Hammes
Post by Dennis M. Hammes
Post by Dennis M. Hammes
footed; thus, English iambic pentameter works just fine i
th
Post by Dennis M. Hammes
Post by Dennis M. Hammes
Post by Dennis M. Hammes
Post by Dennis M. Hammes
ghazal, where "5-7-5" in English is anathema to th
whole dam
Post by Dennis M. Hammes
Post by Dennis M. Hammes
Post by Dennis M. Hammes
Post by Dennis M. Hammes
/idea/ of haikai /or/ Zen
["...or Japanese."
Writing 5/7/5 and 7/7 is like solving a puzzle. it can be fun
Poultry forms are /all/ fun games. And every form exclude
abou
Post by Dennis M. Hammes
Post by Dennis M. Hammes
90% of the universe from discussion
Re haiku, I've been over what 5/7/5 in /English/ excludes 'ti
I'
Post by Dennis M. Hammes
Post by Dennis M. Hammes
blue in the face (some day, I shall clean up the notes and pu
the
Post by Dennis M. Hammes
Post by Dennis M. Hammes
as a "book"), but will put this, anyway
If the requirements of the 'ku in English say to pu
"snap, snap
Post by Dennis M. Hammes
Post by Dennis M. Hammes
snap," you /don't/ put, "drag, drag, drag, drag
drag.
Post by Dennis M. Hammes
Post by Dennis M. Hammes
You don't even put "snap, crackle, crackle.
In defense of my friend, his intent was to josh his friend on th
spur o
Post by Dennis M. Hammes
Post by Dennis M. Hammes
the moment. I suspect he is unfamiliar with haiku beyond an ide
abou
Post by Dennis M. Hammes
Post by Dennis M. Hammes
5/7/5. In my followup I wanted to introduce the topic
Since he used 5/7/5, I constrained my self to 7/7
The [English] form is much-discussed by Japanese and America
masters, and even the Japanese agree that 17 syllables is too muc
for /Anglo-Saxon/ English; the English masters concur that th
/Latinate/ English words, though they'd fill (and overfill) th
syllable requirements are simply less than poetic for mos
purposes. They're an addendum (for English) of classificatio
words, and haiku want objects to point to; in English, those ar
almost all short Anglo-Saxon, cumulatively too short fo
17-syllabl
Post by Dennis M. Hammes
haiku because Anglish has 36 vowels on which to form short word
(Shaw says 41 in Britain)
I was arguing with Athene on this all supper; we concur tha
French could easily stick to 5/7/5, and German probably could
German has 8 vowels, French has six; Spanish, Latin, and Japanes
have the same five
Arguing the thesis conversely, the simple fact is that /nobody
can write "true" (5/7/5) haiku in English; the /language
won'
Post by Dennis M. Hammes
permit both the rules of content and the rules of form to b
satisfied simultaneously
Yet the /content/ part of the form is so persuasive as a concep
that the "little, fragmented lines" translations of haik
gave u
Post by Dennis M. Hammes
this "little, fragmented lines" form of modern Englis
poultry
Post by Dennis M. Hammes
--
-------(m
~/:o)_|
A designer knows he has achieved perfection not when there is
nothing left
to add, but when there is nothing left to take away. --
Saint-Exupry
http://scrawlmark.org
Interesting haiku discussion.


This is a response to the post seen at:
http://www.jlaforums.com/viewtopic.php?p=657948473#657948473

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