An old favorite, brought back by popular demand:
He’s Got His Shed to Watch His Porn*
a poem and song by NancyGene
The hos are ho-ing, Nelly overflowing,
Will to the leather bar born
He doesn’t care how much he is warned
He’s got his shed to watch his porn.
He can’t remember seeing his member,
Recalls the laughter and scorn
He’s impaired and his pants are well worn
Yet has his poems and Ellen Horn.
Topped with his Brillo hair, jowls he’s proud of
He needs no sunglasses, he has his self-love.
His shed is dire, a trashy pyre
Can’t ditch fat Veronica
She looks and sings like Flicka
Will wants his Pick for Hanukkah.
The Legends squalling, Dim Did is crawling
Where is that new rented room?
What does Will care with magic mushrooms
He has his wife to re- exhume.
*with apologies to “I’ve Got My Love to Keep Me Warm,” by Irving Berlin (1937)