Discussion:
Nightmares
(too old to reply)
Vinyl Cat
2019-09-02 20:13:17 UTC
Permalink
Nightmares (I)

They came to me every few nights.
flashes of being taken into a closet.
all I see are jeans and a red light.
and a blurry face.
I'm being forced to do something no child should ever do.
I don't know what I am supposed to do.
there is no one to help me, so I go along.
I wake up crying, "HELP!".
Mom would coddle me get me back to bed.
When I was a teenager, we got a visitor.
It was, the man from my nightmares!
It was then I knew, the worse of my nightmares are true.






Wrote 9/1/2019 7:42am
Will Dockery
2019-09-02 20:34:08 UTC
Permalink
Post by Vinyl Cat
Nightmares (I)
They came to me every few nights.
flashes of being taken into a closet.
all I see are jeans and a red light.
and a blurry face.
I'm being forced to do something no child should ever do.
I don't know what I am supposed to do.
there is no one to help me, so I go along.
I wake up crying, "HELP!".
Mom would coddle me get me back to bed.
When I was a teenager, we got a visitor.
It was, the man from my nightmares!
It was then I knew, the worse of my nightmares are true.
Wrote 9/1/2019 7:42am
Powerful poetry... yes, art is not always pretty.
Vinyl Cat
2019-09-02 20:41:43 UTC
Permalink
Thank you Will! I made two beautiful children and played the French horn beautifully. It may be a while before I write beautiful words or play beautiful music. But write and sing....I just may.
Will Dockery
2019-09-02 21:00:58 UTC
Permalink
Post by Vinyl Cat
Thank you Will! I made two beautiful children and played the French horn beautifully. It may be a while before I write beautiful words or play beautiful music. But write and sing....I just may.
The French Horn!

The late John Entwhistle, bassist for The Who, would whip his French horn out at certain times during their shows... just short riffs but were very effective.

At one and a half minutes in, Pictures Of Lily - The Who:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7BmkBroiw1s

bigsirenguy wrote:

"I love how John just pops that French horn outta nowhere..."
Vinyl Cat
2019-09-02 21:22:42 UTC
Permalink
It's the one of most beautiful sounding instrument.
Will Dockery
2019-09-02 22:30:41 UTC
Permalink
Post by Vinyl Cat
Thank you Will! I made two beautiful children and played the French horn beautifully. It may be a while before I write beautiful words or play beautiful music. But write and sing....I just may.
I like the poem just as it is, even the two longer lines match, and rhyme.

You are good. 😀

If I like it, I like it:
Vinyl Cat
2019-09-02 22:35:00 UTC
Permalink
Thank you Will!! 😘
NancyGene
2019-09-02 23:32:12 UTC
Permalink
Post by Will Dockery
Post by Vinyl Cat
Thank you Will! I made two beautiful children and played the French horn beautifully. It may be a while before I write beautiful words or play beautiful music. But write and sing....I just may.
I like the poem just as it is, even the two longer lines match, and rhyme.
You are good. 😀
Sure you would, because you are ignorant and don't know the first thing about how to write a poem, how to write a sentence, or how to write an unbouncing check.

The two longer lines are part of the famous rhyme scheme of: a,b,a,c,d,d,e,f,g,h,i,d.

If you like it, that doesn't make it good or tell the author that the poem is not seriously flawed. VinylCheshireKat's poetry is not "great" but at least she submitted something. Telling her that her poem is "great" is doing her a disservice.
Don Perryman
2019-09-02 23:34:34 UTC
Permalink
Post by NancyGene
Post by Will Dockery
Post by Vinyl Cat
Thank you Will! I made two beautiful children and played the French horn beautifully. It may be a while before I write beautiful words or play beautiful music. But write and sing....I just may.
I like the poem just as it is, even the two longer lines match, and rhyme.
You are good. 😀
Sure you would
As any true poetry lo9veer would.....

It is a fine example of Button Poetry......
NancyGene
2019-09-02 23:50:54 UTC
Permalink
Post by Don Perryman
Post by NancyGene
Post by Will Dockery
Post by Vinyl Cat
Thank you Will! I made two beautiful children and played the French horn beautifully. It may be a while before I write beautiful words or play beautiful music. But write and sing....I just may.
I like the poem just as it is, even the two longer lines match, and rhyme.
You are good. 😀
Sure you would
As any true poetry lo9veer would.....
It is a fine example of Button Poetry......
Hello, "Don Perryman." We are sure that the living person "Don Perryman" is thrilled that you are appropriating his name to which to attach your ignorant comments.
High Number
2019-09-02 23:53:22 UTC
Permalink
Post by NancyGene
Post by Don Perryman
Post by NancyGene
Post by Will Dockery
Post by Vinyl Cat
Thank you Will! I made two beautiful children and played the French horn beautifully. It may be a while before I write beautiful words or play beautiful music. But write and sing....I just may.
I like the poem just as it is, even the two longer lines match, and rhyme.
You are good. 😀
Sure you would
As any true poetry lo9veer would.....
It is a fine example of Button Poetry......
Hello, "Don Perryman." We are sure that the living person "Don Perryman" is thrilled that you are appropriating his name to which to attach your ignorant comments.
Okay, you have a point.....

How about all the impostors and forger trolls you encourage here every day, Nancy G?
NancyGene
2019-09-02 23:59:58 UTC
Permalink
Post by High Number
Post by NancyGene
Post by Don Perryman
Post by NancyGene
Post by Will Dockery
Post by Vinyl Cat
Thank you Will! I made two beautiful children and played the French horn beautifully. It may be a while before I write beautiful words or play beautiful music. But write and sing....I just may.
I like the poem just as it is, even the two longer lines match, and rhyme.
You are good. 😀
Sure you would
As any true poetry lo9veer would.....
It is a fine example of Button Poetry......
Hello, "Don Perryman." We are sure that the living person "Don Perryman" is thrilled that you are appropriating his name to which to attach your ignorant comments.
Okay, you have a point.....
How about all the impostors and forger trolls you encourage here every day, Nancy G?
Has "Don Perryman" ever posted at AAPC or been mentioned before by you or Will? Anyone you or Will shill for is fair game on AAPC.
Will Dockery
2019-09-03 09:43:14 UTC
Permalink
Post by NancyGene
Post by NancyGene
Post by Will Dockery
Post by Vinyl Cat
Thank you Will! I made two beautiful children and played the French horn beautifully. It may be a while before I write beautiful words or play beautiful music. But write and sing....I just may.
I like the poem just as it is, even the two longer lines match, and rhyme.
You are good. 😀
Sure you would
As any true poetry lover would.....
It is a fine example of Button Poetry......
Hello, "Don Perryman." We are sure that the living person "Don Perryman" is thrilled
I never knew there was a poet named Don Perryman, myself, but Zod actually reads a lot more poetry than I do, so maybe he did know:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KGRVsc10ESg

Don Perryman reads "Was Melville Gay"
High Number
2019-09-04 00:37:18 UTC
Permalink
Post by Will Dockery
Post by NancyGene
Post by NancyGene
Post by Will Dockery
Post by Vinyl Cat
Thank you Will! I made two beautiful children and played the French horn beautifully. It may be a while before I write beautiful words or play beautiful music. But write and sing....I just may.
I like the poem just as it is, even the two longer lines match, and rhyme.
You are good. 😀
Sure you would
As any true poetry lover would.....
It is a fine example of Button Poetry......
Hello, "Don Perryman." We are sure that the living person "Don Perryman" is thrilled
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KGRVsc10ESg
Don Perryman reads "Was Melville Gay"
Yes, I have read Perryman and I honor him and his poetics....
Michael Pendragon
2019-09-04 00:55:00 UTC
Permalink
Post by High Number
Post by Will Dockery
Post by NancyGene
Post by NancyGene
Post by Will Dockery
Post by Vinyl Cat
Thank you Will! I made two beautiful children and played the French horn beautifully. It may be a while before I write beautiful words or play beautiful music. But write and sing....I just may.
I like the poem just as it is, even the two longer lines match, and rhyme.
You are good. 😀
Sure you would
As any true poetry lover would.....
It is a fine example of Button Poetry......
Hello, "Don Perryman." We are sure that the living person "Don Perryman" is thrilled
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KGRVsc10ESg
Don Perryman reads "Was Melville Gay"
Yes, I have read Perryman and I honor him and his poetics....
You certainly do not honor him by making such an ignorant statement about his work as the above.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Poetics
Vinyl Cat
2019-09-03 02:36:43 UTC
Permalink
Brainiac Five, Thanks Soo much!!
Zod
2019-09-02 22:39:34 UTC
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Post by Vinyl Cat
Thank you Will! I made two beautiful children and played the French horn beautifully. It may be a while before I write beautiful words or play beautiful music. But write and sing....I just may.
I bet you have some beautiful tits. Show 'em.
Hieronymous Corey
2019-09-02 23:04:23 UTC
Permalink
Don't be crude. Leave her tits alone.
Her tits are none of your business.
You shouldn't even mention her tits.
Don Perryman
2019-09-02 23:29:32 UTC
Permalink
Post by Hieronymous Corey
Don't be crude. Leave her tits alone.
Her tits are none of your business.
You shouldn't even mention her tits.
Hello my friend, how is your day going, Pastor C....?
Vinyl Cat
2019-09-03 02:32:46 UTC
Permalink
Pastor C, Good! Ready to write more. Waiting until the anxiety lets me.
Hieronymous Corey
2019-09-03 19:55:23 UTC
Permalink
If you're ready to write, then write.
What the hell are you waiting for?
The anxiety won't ever 'let' you.
You just have to do it anyway.

It will get easier, or it won't, and
you'll either continue because it
makes you feel good, or you'll stop
because it's too difficult for you.

Either way represents a path.
Take a step, then take another.
Perry Winkle
2019-09-04 00:56:29 UTC
Permalink
Post by Hieronymous Corey
If you're ready to write, then write.
What the hell are you waiting for?
The anxiety won't ever 'let' you.
You just have to do it anyway.
It will get easier, or it won't, and
you'll either continue because it
makes you feel good, or you'll stop
because it's too difficult for you.
Either way represents a path.
Take a step, then take another.
Hello there Pastor C....!
Vinyl Cat
2019-09-03 02:28:14 UTC
Permalink
Should I have not done that.... guess I should have read all the comments?
Vinyl Cat
2019-09-03 02:27:27 UTC
Permalink
Check out my profile pic. How bout them tittes!!! Get off my shit!
NancyGene
2019-09-02 21:57:39 UTC
Permalink
Post by Vinyl Cat
Nightmares (I)
It is not clear whether you are indicating that this is Nightmares I. in a table of contents, or Nightmares of yours (I), or the first poem of a series of Nightmares.
Post by Vinyl Cat
They came to me every few nights.
flashes of being taken into a closet.
all I see are jeans and a red light.
and a blurry face.
Why are you putting periods at the end of sentence fragments?
Post by Vinyl Cat
I'm being forced to do something no child should ever do.
I don't know what I am supposed to do.
You are being forced to do something but don't know what you are supposed to do as in seeking help? This is very awkwardly worded and should be rethought. Too many "do's" in your lines.
Post by Vinyl Cat
there is no one to help me, so I go along.
We would think that the child's reaction would be stronger than going along, even if it isn't a physical fight-back.
Post by Vinyl Cat
I wake up crying, "HELP!".
You just said that the child was going along, so why is he now crying help?
Post by Vinyl Cat
Mom would coddle me get me back to bed.
When I was a teenager, we got a visitor.
It was, the man from my nightmares!
However, it was established that the child of the nightmares only saw jeans, a red light and a blurry face. How does the child now recognize the man? The third line should not have a comma after "was." Too many "was" words, and they unfortunately line up as if the last line is going to be a repeat of the previous line.
Post by Vinyl Cat
It was then I knew, the worse of my nightmares are true.
We take this as saying that the nightmares were events that were actually happening at that time. We think you mean "worst" of the nightmares.
Post by Vinyl Cat
Wrote 9/1/2019 7:42am
Reread the above and think proper tense of "write." Anyone who reads that line would dismiss the rest of the poem.
Will Dockery
2019-09-02 22:14:53 UTC
Permalink
Hey now, Nancy G.

I feel I am being quite helpful... I snipped all your blather, after all.

;)
Vinyl Cat
2019-09-02 22:21:30 UTC
Permalink
I'm a first timer. Thanks for your comments.
ME
2019-09-02 22:32:27 UTC
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Post by Vinyl Cat
I'm a first timer. Thanks for your comments.
VC, you’d fair well to at least consider NG’s comments. They write and share new poetry on almost a daily basis.
They can be very helpful to newcomers that are interested in developing their writing talents.
Vinyl Cat
2019-09-03 02:20:21 UTC
Permalink
I thank NG for her comments.I also take in all criticism. I've never written before but I've got a big lifetime of stories to get out. Mostly bad and deep down very personal and about my childhood. I'm expecting maybe a chicken would maybe read it one day (reaching for high hopes) so I didn't go into great detail of my molestations, didn't feel the need to explain that or the nightmare. Thought mystery was good in poetry. I honestly didn't think there were "rules". I've been bullied most of my life which is why it's so hard for me to do this. But after I read Miss Nancy Grace's comment, I went and got some books to write in and I'm going to finish my nightmares so she can wonder what the hell happened to me. I'll tell her if she wants to know. I like telling my story, it's how I deal. I just don't think it's suitable for children.
High Number
2019-09-03 06:44:35 UTC
Permalink
Post by Vinyl Cat
I thank NG for her comments.I also take in all criticism. I've never written before but I've got a big lifetime of stories to get out. Mostly bad and deep down very personal and about my childhood. I'm expecting maybe a chicken would maybe read it one day (reaching for high hopes) so I didn't go into great detail of my molestations, didn't feel the need to explain that or the nightmare. Thought mystery was good in poetry. I honestly didn't think there were "rules". I've been bullied most of my life which is why it's so hard for me to do this. But after I read Miss Nancy Grace's comment, I went and got some books to write in and I'm going to finish my nightmares so she can wonder what the hell happened to me. I'll tell her if she wants to know. I like telling my story, it's how I deal. I just don't think it's suitable for children.
Well put, V.C.
The Real Will Dockery
2019-09-03 16:26:16 UTC
Permalink
Post by High Number
Post by Vinyl Cat
I thank NG for her comments.I also take in all criticism. I've never written before but I've got a big lifetime of stories to get out. Mostly bad and deep down very personal and about my childhood. I'm expecting maybe a chicken would maybe read it one day (reaching for high hopes) so I didn't go into great detail of my molestations, didn't feel the need to explain that or the nightmare. Thought mystery was good in poetry. I honestly didn't think there were "rules". I've been bullied most of my life which is why it's so hard for me to do this. But after I read Miss Nancy Grace's comment, I went and got some books to write in and I'm going to finish my nightmares so she can wonder what the hell happened to me. I'll tell her if she wants to know. I like telling my story, it's how I deal. I just don't think it's suitable for children.
Well put, V.C.
Agreed... and seconded.
NancyGene
2019-09-02 23:26:41 UTC
Permalink
Post by Vinyl Cat
I'm a first timer. Thanks for your comments.
When you write something, put it away and then read it again the next day or so. Look for contradictions and grammar. If you don't know the correct punctuation, leave that out.
Vinyl Cat
2019-09-03 02:30:41 UTC
Permalink
I did put it away and reread it. I did know it wasn't ready. I had (teaser) at first..I posted it sper of the moment. I knew it was going to be a series.
Will Dockery
2019-09-03 03:12:55 UTC
Permalink
Post by Vinyl Cat
I did put it away and reread it. I did know it wasn't ready. I had (teaser) at first..I posted it sper of the moment. I knew it was going to be a series.
The poem was damn good, call it a first draft and re-write it, if needed.
ME
2019-09-02 22:24:24 UTC
Permalink
Post by NancyGene
Post by Vinyl Cat
Nightmares (I)
It is not clear whether you are indicating that this is Nightmares I. in a table of contents, or Nightmares of yours (I), or the first poem of a series of Nightmares.
Post by Vinyl Cat
They came to me every few nights.
flashes of being taken into a closet.
all I see are jeans and a red light.
and a blurry face.
Why are you putting periods at the end of sentence fragments?
Post by Vinyl Cat
I'm being forced to do something no child should ever do.
I don't know what I am supposed to do.
You are being forced to do something but don't know what you are supposed to do as in seeking help? This is very awkwardly worded and should be rethought. Too many "do's" in your lines.
Post by Vinyl Cat
there is no one to help me, so I go along.
We would think that the child's reaction would be stronger than going along, even if it isn't a physical fight-back.
Post by Vinyl Cat
I wake up crying, "HELP!".
You just said that the child was going along, so why is he now crying help?
Post by Vinyl Cat
Mom would coddle me get me back to bed.
When I was a teenager, we got a visitor.
It was, the man from my nightmares!
However, it was established that the child of the nightmares only saw jeans, a red light and a blurry face. How does the child now recognize the man? The third line should not have a comma after "was." Too many "was" words, and they unfortunately line up as if the last line is going to be a repeat of the previous line.
Post by Vinyl Cat
It was then I knew, the worse of my nightmares are true.
We take this as saying that the nightmares were events that were actually happening at that time. We think you mean "worst" of the nightmares.
Post by Vinyl Cat
Wrote 9/1/2019 7:42am
Reread the above and think proper tense of "write." Anyone who reads that line would dismiss the rest of the poem.
NG, you read and offer a review, critique and/ or comments on the actual poem.
Others merely offer slurps.
That’s the difference between an audience and a communal circle jerk.
Michael Pendragon
2019-09-03 02:31:02 UTC
Permalink
Post by NancyGene
Post by Vinyl Cat
Nightmares (I)
It is not clear whether you are indicating that this is Nightmares I. in a table of contents, or Nightmares of yours (I), or the first poem of a series of Nightmares.
Post by Vinyl Cat
They came to me every few nights.
flashes of being taken into a closet.
all I see are jeans and a red light.
and a blurry face.
Why are you putting periods at the end of sentence fragments?
Post by Vinyl Cat
I'm being forced to do something no child should ever do.
I don't know what I am supposed to do.
You are being forced to do something but don't know what you are supposed to do as in seeking help? This is very awkwardly worded and should be rethought. Too many "do's" in your lines.
Post by Vinyl Cat
there is no one to help me, so I go along.
We would think that the child's reaction would be stronger than going along, even if it isn't a physical fight-back.
Post by Vinyl Cat
I wake up crying, "HELP!".
You just said that the child was going along, so why is he now crying help?
Post by Vinyl Cat
Mom would coddle me get me back to bed.
When I was a teenager, we got a visitor.
It was, the man from my nightmares!
However, it was established that the child of the nightmares only saw jeans, a red light and a blurry face. How does the child now recognize the man? The third line should not have a comma after "was." Too many "was" words, and they unfortunately line up as if the last line is going to be a repeat of the previous line.
Post by Vinyl Cat
It was then I knew, the worse of my nightmares are true.
We take this as saying that the nightmares were events that were actually happening at that time. We think you mean "worst" of the nightmares.
Post by Vinyl Cat
Wrote 9/1/2019 7:42am
Reread the above and think proper tense of "write." Anyone who reads that line would dismiss the rest of the poem.
NancyGene brought up excellent points and suggestions; in fact, her constructive criticisms are so thorough that I can't think of anything to add... apart from some desultory advice on AAPC, writing and criticism in general.

Always bear in mind that the best criticism is that which helps you to improve your work. AAPC works well as a comment/critique group (when it isn't being flooded with meaningless "bump" posts from Will and his sock) because people will take your work apart. They'll also let you know if a particular piece of writing isn't worth salvaging. In short, it's the perfect place for beginning writers to learn and improve their craft.

Will and his sock are from the "circle-jerk"/"reciprocal slurpage" school; that is, they believe in offering empty words of praise ("Outdamnstanding!," "One of your best!"), in exchange for similar commendations. If you're happier with poetry groups of that sort (and they are legion), try joining something like www.poemhunter.com or facebook poetry society (although they seem to have their share of in-fighting).
Will Dockery
2019-09-02 22:26:08 UTC
Permalink
Post by Vinyl Cat
Nightmares (I)
They came to me every few nights.
flashes of being taken into a closet.
all I see are jeans and a red light.
and a blurry face.
I'm being forced to do something no child should ever do.
I don't know what I am supposed to do.
there is no one to help me, so I go along.
I wake up crying, "HELP!".
Mom would coddle me get me back to bed.
When I was a teenager, we got a visitor.
It was, the man from my nightmares!
It was then I knew, the worse of my nightmares are true.
Wrote 9/1/2019 7:42am
As for being "helpful"... I like the poem just fine as it is.

;)
Will Dockery
2019-09-02 23:15:54 UTC
Permalink
Keep up the great poetry, Vinyl...

And ignore the trolls.

;)
High Number
2019-09-03 00:08:04 UTC
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Spoken like the true stalker troll you are, Nancy G.....
Will Dockery
2019-09-04 04:04:12 UTC
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Bottom line, the writing is good, and I look forward to the rest of the epic, Vinyl Cat.

;)
Coco DeSockmonkey
2019-09-04 04:19:17 UTC
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Post by Will Dockery
Bottom line, the writing is good, and I look forward to the rest of the epic, Vinyl Cat.
No, Will; the writing is not.

VC can consider NancyGene's comments and try rewriting it... and maybe a dozen or so revisions later, she'll have a well-written poem.

But I'm afraid the subject is far too cliched to bother with. Everybody who's ever been abused as a child (and nine out of ten aspiring poets who haven't been) have written a variation of that same poem. I read hundreds of them when I was editing PD and Songs, and you can find countless examples of them online.

It's a tough subject, and the emotional trauma will never completely go away. Writing about it is a good way to confront and overcome the pain to some degree. But for a poet to become worth reading, he/she's got to break away from the same old same old that have been done to death a thousand times over.

One good thing your grammatically-challenged poems have going for them is that they're not run of the mill retreads... at least in terms of plot. It's just too bad that the hackneyed sentence fragments they're composed of were all hoisted out of rock songs.
High Number
2019-09-04 04:33:15 UTC
Permalink
Post by Coco DeSockmonkey
Post by Will Dockery
Bottom line, the writing is good, and I look forward to the rest of the epic, Vinyl Cat.
No, Will; the writing is not.
VC can consider NancyGene's comments and try rewriting it... and maybe a dozen or so revisions later, she'll have a well-written poem.
But I'm afraid the subject is far too cliched to bother with. Everybody who's ever been abused as a child (and nine out of ten aspiring poets who haven't been) have written a variation of that same poem. I read hundreds of them when I was editing PD and Songs, and you can find countless examples of them online.
It's a tough subject, and the emotional trauma will never completely go away. Writing about it is a good way to confront and overcome the pain to some degree. But for a poet to become worth reading, he/she's got to break away from the same old same old that have been done to death a thousand times over.
One good thing your grammatically-challenged poems have going for them is that they're not run of the mill retreads... at least in terms of plot. It's just too bad that the hackneyed sentence fragments they're composed of were all hoisted out of rock songs.
Agreed that Doc is one of the most original thinkers of our ge
Coco DeSockmonkey
2019-09-04 04:42:27 UTC
Permalink
Post by High Number
Post by Coco DeSockmonkey
Post by Will Dockery
Bottom line, the writing is good, and I look forward to the rest of the epic, Vinyl Cat.
No, Will; the writing is not.
VC can consider NancyGene's comments and try rewriting it... and maybe a dozen or so revisions later, she'll have a well-written poem.
But I'm afraid the subject is far too cliched to bother with. Everybody who's ever been abused as a child (and nine out of ten aspiring poets who haven't been) have written a variation of that same poem. I read hundreds of them when I was editing PD and Songs, and you can find countless examples of them online.
It's a tough subject, and the emotional trauma will never completely go away. Writing about it is a good way to confront and overcome the pain to some degree. But for a poet to become worth reading, he/she's got to break away from the same old same old that have been done to death a thousand times over.
One good thing your grammatically-challenged poems have going for them is that they're not run of the mill retreads... at least in terms of plot. It's just too bad that the hackneyed sentence fragments they're composed of were all hoisted out of rock songs.
Agreed that Doc is one of the most original thinkers of our ge
Not even close.

Now get your tongue out from between his buttcheeks and find a nice dry spot to pass out in.
Perry Winkle
2019-09-04 04:55:47 UTC
Permalink
Post by Coco DeSockmonkey
Post by High Number
Post by Coco DeSockmonkey
Post by Will Dockery
Bottom line, the writing is good, and I look forward to the rest of the epic, Vinyl Cat.
No, Will; the writing is not.
VC can consider NancyGene's comments and try rewriting it... and maybe a dozen or so revisions later, she'll have a well-written poem.
But I'm afraid the subject is far too cliched to bother with. Everybody who's ever been abused as a child (and nine out of ten aspiring poets who haven't been) have written a variation of that same poem. I read hundreds of them when I was editing PD and Songs, and you can find countless examples of them online.
It's a tough subject, and the emotional trauma will never completely go away. Writing about it is a good way to confront and overcome the pain to some degree. But for a poet to become worth reading, he/she's got to break away from the same old same old that have been done to death a thousand times over.
One good thing your grammatically-challenged poems have going for them is that they're not run of the mill retreads... at least in terms of plot. It's just too bad that the hackneyed sentence fragments they're composed of were all hoisted out of rock songs.
Agreed that Doc is one of the most original thinkers of our ge
Not even close
Of course you would not agree being obviously eat up with jealousy of Doc....

Ha ha ha.....
Michael Pendragon
2019-09-04 11:44:11 UTC
Permalink
Post by Perry Winkle
Post by Coco DeSockmonkey
Post by High Number
Post by Coco DeSockmonkey
Post by Will Dockery
Bottom line, the writing is good, and I look forward to the rest of the epic, Vinyl Cat.
No, Will; the writing is not.
VC can consider NancyGene's comments and try rewriting it... and maybe a dozen or so revisions later, she'll have a well-written poem.
But I'm afraid the subject is far too cliched to bother with. Everybody who's ever been abused as a child (and nine out of ten aspiring poets who haven't been) have written a variation of that same poem. I read hundreds of them when I was editing PD and Songs, and you can find countless examples of them online.
It's a tough subject, and the emotional trauma will never completely go away. Writing about it is a good way to confront and overcome the pain to some degree. But for a poet to become worth reading, he/she's got to break away from the same old same old that have been done to death a thousand times over.
One good thing your grammatically-challenged poems have going for them is that they're not run of the mill retreads... at least in terms of plot. It's just too bad that the hackneyed sentence fragments they're composed of were all hoisted out of rock songs.
Agreed that Doc is one of the most original thinkers of our ge
Not even close
Of course you would not agree being obviously eat up with jealousy of Doc....
Ha ha ha.....
I can understand why a tent-dwelling pissbum like yourself would be jealous of a shed-dwelling pissbum like Will... but in the eyes of the civilized world you're equally pitied and scorned.
Will Dockery
2019-09-04 17:07:19 UTC
Permalink
Post by Michael Pendragon
I can understand why a tent-dwelling
<snip>

So, he lives in a tent, and you sneer at him for living in a tent.

Old news, we know about your hatred of the homeless already, Pendragon.
Michael Pendragon
2019-09-04 17:38:53 UTC
Permalink
Post by Will Dockery
Post by Michael Pendragon
I can understand why a tent-dwelling
<snip>
So, he lives in a tent, and you sneer at him for living in a tent.
Old news, we know about your hatred of the homeless already, Pendragon.
I sneer at your shed as well... and bite my thumb at the pair of you.
Will Dockery
2019-09-04 18:03:35 UTC
Permalink
Post by Michael Pendragon
Post by Will Dockery
Post by Michael Pendragon
I can understand why a tent-dwelling
<snip>
So, he lives in a tent, and you sneer at him for living in a tent.
Old news, we know about your hatred of the homeless already, Pendragon.
I sneer at your shed as well... and bite my thumb at the pair of you.
While we *giggle* at you, a grown man pretending to be a Goth/leather boy:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Child_Catcher
Michael Pendragon
2019-09-04 18:26:35 UTC
Permalink
Post by Will Dockery
Post by Michael Pendragon
Post by Will Dockery
Post by Michael Pendragon
I can understand why a tent-dwelling
<snip>
So, he lives in a tent, and you sneer at him for living in a tent.
Old news, we know about your hatred of the homeless already, Pendragon.
I sneer at your shed as well... and bite my thumb at the pair of you.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Child_Catcher
I don't wear leather, Willie. My shoes, belt, wallet and watchband all come from non-animal sources.
Will Dockery
2019-09-04 18:33:17 UTC
Permalink
Post by Michael Pendragon
Post by Will Dockery
Post by Michael Pendragon
Post by Will Dockery
Post by Michael Pendragon
I can understand why a tent-dwelling
<snip>
So, he lives in a tent, and you sneer at him for living in a tent.
Old news, we know about your hatred of the homeless already, Pendragon.
I sneer at your shed as well... and bite my thumb at the pair of you.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Child_Catcher
I don't wear leather
I wrote "pretending".

;)
Michael Pendragon
2019-09-04 18:42:54 UTC
Permalink
Post by Will Dockery
Post by Michael Pendragon
Post by Will Dockery
Post by Michael Pendragon
Post by Will Dockery
Post by Michael Pendragon
I can understand why a tent-dwelling
<snip>
So, he lives in a tent, and you sneer at him for living in a tent.
Old news, we know about your hatred of the homeless already, Pendragon.
I sneer at your shed as well... and bite my thumb at the pair of you.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Child_Catcher
I don't wear leather
I wrote "pretending".
It's difficult to pretend you're a "leather boy" when you're wearing a black fedora and a suit.
Will Dockery
2019-09-04 18:48:07 UTC
Permalink
Post by Michael Pendragon
Post by Will Dockery
Post by Michael Pendragon
Post by Will Dockery
Post by Michael Pendragon
Post by Will Dockery
Post by Michael Pendragon
I can understand why a tent-dwelling
<snip>
So, he lives in a tent, and you sneer at him for living in a tent.
Old news, we know about your hatred of the homeless already, Pendragon.
I sneer at your shed as well... and bite my thumb at the pair of you.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Child_Catcher
I don't wear leather
I wrote "pretending".
It's difficult to pretend you're a "leather boy" when you're wearing a black fedora and a suit.
Okay, so you stopped dressing like a wannabe Goth leather boy, we can note that.
Michael Pendragon
2019-09-04 18:52:35 UTC
Permalink
Post by Will Dockery
Post by Michael Pendragon
Post by Will Dockery
Post by Michael Pendragon
Post by Will Dockery
Post by Michael Pendragon
Post by Will Dockery
Post by Michael Pendragon
I can understand why a tent-dwelling
<snip>
So, he lives in a tent, and you sneer at him for living in a tent.
Old news, we know about your hatred of the homeless already, Pendragon.
I sneer at your shed as well... and bite my thumb at the pair of you.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Child_Catcher
I don't wear leather
I wrote "pretending".
It's difficult to pretend you're a "leather boy" when you're wearing a black fedora and a suit.
Okay, so you stopped dressing like a wannabe Goth leather boy, we can note that.
The photo you've compared to The Child-Catcher in the past is the recent one that I use as my FB pic, and which was the basis of NancyGene's drawing that I use for my avatar here.
Brainiac Five
2019-09-04 22:45:49 UTC
Permalink
Post by Michael Pendragon
Post by Will Dockery
Post by Michael Pendragon
Post by Will Dockery
Post by Michael Pendragon
Post by Will Dockery
Post by Michael Pendragon
Post by Will Dockery
Post by Michael Pendragon
I can understand why a tent-dwelling
<snip>
So, he lives in a tent, and you sneer at him for living in a tent.
Old news, we know about your hatred of the homeless already, Pendragon.
I sneer at your shed as well... and bite my thumb at the pair of you.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Child_Catcher
I don't wear leather
I wrote "pretending".
It's difficult to pretend you're a "leather boy" when you're wearing a black fedora and a suit.
Okay, so you stopped dressing like a wannabe Goth leather boy, we can note that.
The photo you've compared to The Child-Catcher in the past is the recent one that I use as my FB pic, and which was the basis of NancyGene's drawing that I use for my avatar here.
I thought Rochester drew that.......
George J. Dance
2019-09-05 09:30:43 UTC
Permalink
Post by Brainiac Five
Post by Michael Pendragon
Post by Will Dockery
Post by Michael Pendragon
Post by Will Dockery
Post by Michael Pendragon
Post by Will Dockery
Post by Michael Pendragon
Post by Will Dockery
Post by Michael Pendragon
I can understand why a tent-dwelling
<snip>
So, he lives in a tent, and you sneer at him for living in a tent.
Old news, we know about your hatred of the homeless already, Pendragon.
I sneer at your shed as well... and bite my thumb at the pair of you.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Child_Catcher
I don't wear leather
I wrote "pretending".
It's difficult to pretend you're a "leather boy" when you're wearing a black fedora and a suit.
Okay, so you stopped dressing like a wannabe Goth leather boy, we can note that.
The photo you've compared to The Child-Catcher in the past is the recent one that I use as my FB pic, and which was the basis of NancyGene's drawing that I use for my avatar here.
I thought Rochester drew that.......
Pig Pen probably have got his puppets confused. That's happened before.
Will Dockery
2019-09-05 10:06:27 UTC
Permalink
Post by George J. Dance
Post by Brainiac Five
Post by Michael Pendragon
Post by Will Dockery
Post by Michael Pendragon
Post by Will Dockery
Post by Michael Pendragon
Post by Will Dockery
Post by Michael Pendragon
Post by Will Dockery
Post by Michael Pendragon
I can understand why a tent-dwelling
<snip>
So, he lives in a tent, and you sneer at him for living in a tent.
Old news, we know about your hatred of the homeless already, Pendragon.
I sneer at your shed as well... and bite my thumb at the pair of you.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Child_Catcher
I don't wear leather
I wrote "pretending".
It's difficult to pretend you're a "leather boy" when you're wearing a black fedora and a suit.
Okay, so you stopped dressing like a wannabe Goth leather boy, we can note that.
The photo you've compared to The Child-Catcher in the past is the recent one that I use as my FB pic, and which was the basis of NancyGene's drawing that I use for my avatar here.
I thought Rochester drew that.......
Pig Pen probably have got his puppets confused. That's happened before.
It does make one wonder, doesn't it?

;)
ME
2019-09-04 18:58:09 UTC
Permalink
Post by Michael Pendragon
Post by Will Dockery
Post by Michael Pendragon
Post by Will Dockery
Post by Michael Pendragon
Post by Will Dockery
Post by Michael Pendragon
I can understand why a tent-dwelling
<snip>
So, he lives in a tent, and you sneer at him for living in a tent.
Old news, we know about your hatred of the homeless already, Pendragon.
I sneer at your shed as well... and bite my thumb at the pair of you.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Child_Catcher
I don't wear leather
I wrote "pretending".
It's difficult to pretend you're a "leather boy" when you're wearing a black fedora and a suit.
Michael, I suspect that you have known of pissbums obsession with you for quite some time.
He tries so hard to make sure that you’ll respond to his baiting.
But his latest baiting is almost borderline flirting.
Maybe that’s what the “pretending” is all about.
Michael Pendragon
2019-09-04 19:07:25 UTC
Permalink
Post by ME
Post by Michael Pendragon
Post by Will Dockery
Post by Michael Pendragon
Post by Will Dockery
Post by Michael Pendragon
Post by Will Dockery
Post by Michael Pendragon
I can understand why a tent-dwelling
<snip>
So, he lives in a tent, and you sneer at him for living in a tent.
Old news, we know about your hatred of the homeless already, Pendragon.
I sneer at your shed as well... and bite my thumb at the pair of you.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Child_Catcher
I don't wear leather
I wrote "pretending".
It's difficult to pretend you're a "leather boy" when you're wearing a black fedora and a suit.
Michael, I suspect that you have known of pissbums obsession with you for quite some time.
He tries so hard to make sure that you’ll respond to his baiting.
But his latest baiting is almost borderline flirting.
Maybe that’s what the “pretending” is all about.
Yes, I'm aware of Will's obsession and his tendency to flirt with pretty much every man who's ever posted here.

What I find disconcerting is his obsessive need to bait me into making a "gay lame" about him and Stinky on a daily basis.

I mean, damn! -- if I'm supplying him with masturbatory material, I should be getting paid for it!
Will Dockery
2019-09-05 15:31:25 UTC
Permalink
Post by ME
Post by Michael Pendragon
Post by Will Dockery
Post by Michael Pendragon
Post by Will Dockery
Post by Michael Pendragon
Post by Will Dockery
Post by Michael Pendragon
I can understand why a tent-dwelling
<snip>
So, he lives in a tent, and you sneer at him for living in a tent.
Old news, we know about your hatred of the homeless already, Pendragon.
I sneer at your shed as well... and bite my thumb at the pair of you.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Child_Catcher
I don't wear leather
I wrote "pretending".
It's difficult to pretend you're a "leather boy" when you're wearing a black fedora and a suit.
Michael, I suspect that you have known of
obsession with you
While you and the other stalker trolls can't seem to get /me/ out of your heads.

;)

Will Dockery
2019-09-05 09:08:37 UTC
Permalink
I remember some of those drawings were attributed to Rochester.
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