Discussion:
On The Water's Holy Edge
(too old to reply)
Dental River
2020-05-21 13:32:10 UTC
Permalink
On the water's holy edge we smell a poignant bloom.
Let them add to it,
so they can subtract and add again.
On the verge of everything, we breathe charged air
and let them think with it,
decide for us, rethink and decide.
We are loosed into the forbidden sea around their planet,
they can no longer hide from their assassins.

We take chase from them through the movements
of our own crumbling music.
Let them hear us, find us.
Out of prisons of entropy, we hatch a whole plot
so they can use us,
reduce it for us, misuse and lie.
We clench like a grinning weapon gestated inside them,
they can no longer hide from their assassins.
George J. Dance
2020-05-21 18:33:18 UTC
Permalink
Post by Dental River
On the water's holy edge we smell a poignant bloom.
I think I'm almost choking in its smell of stale perfume.
Post by Dental River
Let them add to it,
with some other shit,
Post by Dental River
so they can subtract and add again.
and other smells may seep into my brain.
Post by Dental River
On the verge of everything, we breathe charged air
while on the verge of nothing, we would still be breathing there
Post by Dental River
and let them think with it,
or with some other shit,
Post by Dental River
decide for us, rethink and decide
abide with us, repurpose and abide.
Post by Dental River
We are loosed into the forbidden sea around their planet,
as into the mansion were poor Brad and Janet,
Post by Dental River
they can no longer hide from their assassins
as to their lungs coronavirus fastens.
Post by Dental River
We take chase from them through the movements
of both destruction and improvements,
Post by Dental River
of our own crumbling music
our literature, our physic,
Post by Dental River
Let them hear us, find us
inform us and remind us.
Post by Dental River
Out of prisons of entropy, we hatch a whole plot
and what I mean by that is - oh dear, I quite forgot!
Post by Dental River
so they can use us,
and abuse us,
Post by Dental River
reduce it for us, misuse and lie.
But why do they do it? Why, oh why?
Post by Dental River
We clench like a grinning weapon gestated inside them,
as we decide we can no longer abide them,
Post by Dental River
they can no longer hide from their assassins
as to their lungs coronavirus fastens.
NancyGene
2020-05-21 20:19:42 UTC
Permalink
Post by George J. Dance
Post by Dental River
On the water's holy edge we smell a poignant bloom.
I think I'm almost choking in its smell of stale perfume.
Post by Dental River
Let them add to it,
with some other shit,
Post by Dental River
so they can subtract and add again.
and other smells may seep into my brain.
Post by Dental River
On the verge of everything, we breathe charged air
while on the verge of nothing, we would still be breathing there
Post by Dental River
and let them think with it,
or with some other shit,
Post by Dental River
decide for us, rethink and decide
abide with us, repurpose and abide.
Post by Dental River
We are loosed into the forbidden sea around their planet,
as into the mansion were poor Brad and Janet,
Post by Dental River
they can no longer hide from their assassins
as to their lungs coronavirus fastens.
Post by Dental River
We take chase from them through the movements
of both destruction and improvements,
Post by Dental River
of our own crumbling music
our literature, our physic,
Post by Dental River
Let them hear us, find us
inform us and remind us.
Post by Dental River
Out of prisons of entropy, we hatch a whole plot
and what I mean by that is - oh dear, I quite forgot!
Post by Dental River
so they can use us,
and abuse us,
Post by Dental River
reduce it for us, misuse and lie.
But why do they do it? Why, oh why?
Post by Dental River
We clench like a grinning weapon gestated inside them,
as we decide we can no longer abide them,
Post by Dental River
they can no longer hide from their assassins
as to their lungs coronavirus fastens.
George, is this evidence of your trying to get along with people? If so, it is a fail. Your comments/additions in this fashion are unneeded.
Michael Pendragon
2020-05-21 22:58:21 UTC
Permalink
Post by NancyGene
Post by George J. Dance
Post by Dental River
On the water's holy edge we smell a poignant bloom.
I think I'm almost choking in its smell of stale perfume.
Post by Dental River
Let them add to it,
with some other shit,
Post by Dental River
so they can subtract and add again.
and other smells may seep into my brain.
Post by Dental River
On the verge of everything, we breathe charged air
while on the verge of nothing, we would still be breathing there
Post by Dental River
and let them think with it,
or with some other shit,
Post by Dental River
decide for us, rethink and decide
abide with us, repurpose and abide.
Post by Dental River
We are loosed into the forbidden sea around their planet,
as into the mansion were poor Brad and Janet,
Post by Dental River
they can no longer hide from their assassins
as to their lungs coronavirus fastens.
Post by Dental River
We take chase from them through the movements
of both destruction and improvements,
Post by Dental River
of our own crumbling music
our literature, our physic,
Post by Dental River
Let them hear us, find us
inform us and remind us.
Post by Dental River
Out of prisons of entropy, we hatch a whole plot
and what I mean by that is - oh dear, I quite forgot!
Post by Dental River
so they can use us,
and abuse us,
Post by Dental River
reduce it for us, misuse and lie.
But why do they do it? Why, oh why?
Post by Dental River
We clench like a grinning weapon gestated inside them,
as we decide we can no longer abide them,
Post by Dental River
they can no longer hide from their assassins
as to their lungs coronavirus fastens.
George, is this evidence of your trying to get along with people? If so, it is a fail. Your comments/additions in this fashion are unneeded.
It's my fault, I'm afraid.

I'd asked him to try getting along with you, ME and Jim. I never thought to include Dental River, as I wasn't aware that they were even fighting.
NancyGene
2020-05-21 23:05:13 UTC
Permalink
Post by Michael Pendragon
Post by NancyGene
Post by George J. Dance
Post by Dental River
On the water's holy edge we smell a poignant bloom.
I think I'm almost choking in its smell of stale perfume.
Post by Dental River
Let them add to it,
with some other shit,
Post by Dental River
so they can subtract and add again.
and other smells may seep into my brain.
Post by Dental River
On the verge of everything, we breathe charged air
while on the verge of nothing, we would still be breathing there
Post by Dental River
and let them think with it,
or with some other shit,
Post by Dental River
decide for us, rethink and decide
abide with us, repurpose and abide.
Post by Dental River
We are loosed into the forbidden sea around their planet,
as into the mansion were poor Brad and Janet,
Post by Dental River
they can no longer hide from their assassins
as to their lungs coronavirus fastens.
Post by Dental River
We take chase from them through the movements
of both destruction and improvements,
Post by Dental River
of our own crumbling music
our literature, our physic,
Post by Dental River
Let them hear us, find us
inform us and remind us.
Post by Dental River
Out of prisons of entropy, we hatch a whole plot
and what I mean by that is - oh dear, I quite forgot!
Post by Dental River
so they can use us,
and abuse us,
Post by Dental River
reduce it for us, misuse and lie.
But why do they do it? Why, oh why?
Post by Dental River
We clench like a grinning weapon gestated inside them,
as we decide we can no longer abide them,
Post by Dental River
they can no longer hide from their assassins
as to their lungs coronavirus fastens.
George, is this evidence of your trying to get along with people? If so, it is a fail. Your comments/additions in this fashion are unneeded.
It's my fault, I'm afraid.
I'd asked him to try getting along with you, ME and Jim. I never thought to include Dental River, as I wasn't aware that they were even fighting.
George is a big boy and knows right from wrong. You can't be his mom here.
Zodiac
2020-05-23 13:04:00 UTC
Permalink
Post by NancyGene
George is a big boy and knows right from wrong
How about you, Nancy G....?

So you know when you are doing wrong, since you do it so often...?
Dental River
2020-05-21 23:58:17 UTC
Permalink
Post by Michael Pendragon
Post by NancyGene
Post by George J. Dance
Post by Dental River
On the water's holy edge we smell a poignant bloom.
I think I'm almost choking in its smell of stale perfume.
Post by Dental River
Let them add to it,
with some other shit,
Post by Dental River
so they can subtract and add again.
and other smells may seep into my brain.
Post by Dental River
On the verge of everything, we breathe charged air
while on the verge of nothing, we would still be breathing there
Post by Dental River
and let them think with it,
or with some other shit,
Post by Dental River
decide for us, rethink and decide
abide with us, repurpose and abide.
Post by Dental River
We are loosed into the forbidden sea around their planet,
as into the mansion were poor Brad and Janet,
Post by Dental River
they can no longer hide from their assassins
as to their lungs coronavirus fastens.
Post by Dental River
We take chase from them through the movements
of both destruction and improvements,
Post by Dental River
of our own crumbling music
our literature, our physic,
Post by Dental River
Let them hear us, find us
inform us and remind us.
Post by Dental River
Out of prisons of entropy, we hatch a whole plot
and what I mean by that is - oh dear, I quite forgot!
Post by Dental River
so they can use us,
and abuse us,
Post by Dental River
reduce it for us, misuse and lie.
But why do they do it? Why, oh why?
Post by Dental River
We clench like a grinning weapon gestated inside them,
as we decide we can no longer abide them,
Post by Dental River
they can no longer hide from their assassins
as to their lungs coronavirus fastens.
George, is this evidence of your trying to get along with people? If so, it is a fail. Your comments/additions in this fashion are unneeded.
It's my fault, I'm afraid.
I'd asked him to try getting along with you, ME and Jim. I never thought to include Dental River, as I wasn't aware that they were even fighting.
We weren't fighting. I'm flummoxed, unless this is part of a fixed reaction by George to those he perceives as an alliance against his allies. Or he may have placed me in the wrong thread again, and harbors misplaced spite.

George, all is forgiven. Me, Grampa and June Lockhart just stoned Lassie to death so you can come come and rule the hearth again.
NancyGene
2020-05-22 00:01:14 UTC
Permalink
Post by Dental River
Post by Michael Pendragon
Post by NancyGene
Post by George J. Dance
Post by Dental River
On the water's holy edge we smell a poignant bloom.
I think I'm almost choking in its smell of stale perfume.
Post by Dental River
Let them add to it,
with some other shit,
Post by Dental River
so they can subtract and add again.
and other smells may seep into my brain.
Post by Dental River
On the verge of everything, we breathe charged air
while on the verge of nothing, we would still be breathing there
Post by Dental River
and let them think with it,
or with some other shit,
Post by Dental River
decide for us, rethink and decide
abide with us, repurpose and abide.
Post by Dental River
We are loosed into the forbidden sea around their planet,
as into the mansion were poor Brad and Janet,
Post by Dental River
they can no longer hide from their assassins
as to their lungs coronavirus fastens.
Post by Dental River
We take chase from them through the movements
of both destruction and improvements,
Post by Dental River
of our own crumbling music
our literature, our physic,
Post by Dental River
Let them hear us, find us
inform us and remind us.
Post by Dental River
Out of prisons of entropy, we hatch a whole plot
and what I mean by that is - oh dear, I quite forgot!
Post by Dental River
so they can use us,
and abuse us,
Post by Dental River
reduce it for us, misuse and lie.
But why do they do it? Why, oh why?
Post by Dental River
We clench like a grinning weapon gestated inside them,
as we decide we can no longer abide them,
Post by Dental River
they can no longer hide from their assassins
as to their lungs coronavirus fastens.
George, is this evidence of your trying to get along with people? If so, it is a fail. Your comments/additions in this fashion are unneeded.
It's my fault, I'm afraid.
I'd asked him to try getting along with you, ME and Jim. I never thought to include Dental River, as I wasn't aware that they were even fighting.
We weren't fighting. I'm flummoxed, unless this is part of a fixed reaction by George to those he perceives as an alliance against his allies. Or he may have placed me in the wrong thread again, and harbors misplaced spite.
George, all is forgiven. Me, Grampa and June Lockhart just stoned Lassie to death so you can come come and rule the hearth again.
George is really Hugh Beaumont?
Dental River
2020-05-22 00:28:34 UTC
Permalink
Post by NancyGene
Post by Dental River
Post by Michael Pendragon
Post by NancyGene
Post by George J. Dance
Post by Dental River
On the water's holy edge we smell a poignant bloom.
I think I'm almost choking in its smell of stale perfume.
Post by Dental River
Let them add to it,
with some other shit,
Post by Dental River
so they can subtract and add again.
and other smells may seep into my brain.
Post by Dental River
On the verge of everything, we breathe charged air
while on the verge of nothing, we would still be breathing there
Post by Dental River
and let them think with it,
or with some other shit,
Post by Dental River
decide for us, rethink and decide
abide with us, repurpose and abide.
Post by Dental River
We are loosed into the forbidden sea around their planet,
as into the mansion were poor Brad and Janet,
Post by Dental River
they can no longer hide from their assassins
as to their lungs coronavirus fastens.
Post by Dental River
We take chase from them through the movements
of both destruction and improvements,
Post by Dental River
of our own crumbling music
our literature, our physic,
Post by Dental River
Let them hear us, find us
inform us and remind us.
Post by Dental River
Out of prisons of entropy, we hatch a whole plot
and what I mean by that is - oh dear, I quite forgot!
Post by Dental River
so they can use us,
and abuse us,
Post by Dental River
reduce it for us, misuse and lie.
But why do they do it? Why, oh why?
Post by Dental River
We clench like a grinning weapon gestated inside them,
as we decide we can no longer abide them,
Post by Dental River
they can no longer hide from their assassins
as to their lungs coronavirus fastens.
George, is this evidence of your trying to get along with people? If so, it is a fail. Your comments/additions in this fashion are unneeded.
It's my fault, I'm afraid.
I'd asked him to try getting along with you, ME and Jim. I never thought to include Dental River, as I wasn't aware that they were even fighting.
We weren't fighting. I'm flummoxed, unless this is part of a fixed reaction by George to those he perceives as an alliance against his allies. Or he may have placed me in the wrong thread again, and harbors misplaced spite.
George, all is forgiven. Me, Grampa and June Lockhart just stoned Lassie to death so you can come come and rule the hearth again.
George is really Hugh Beaumont?
Hugh Beaumont can't come to the phone right now. They just found Eddie Haskell in the basement tied to the water heater, deep abrasions to the skull, puncture wounds in chest and groin area, and sexually mutilated. Since the Dennis The Menace killing, the whole area has been on edge and this is going to start a panic. Hugh Beaumont is sweating heavily under hot lights now.
George J. Dance
2020-05-22 02:22:21 UTC
Permalink
Post by NancyGene
Post by George J. Dance
Post by Dental River
On the water's holy edge we smell a poignant bloom.
I think I'm almost choking in its smell of stale perfume.
Post by Dental River
Let them add to it,
with some other shit,
Post by Dental River
so they can subtract and add again.
and other smells may seep into my brain.
Post by Dental River
On the verge of everything, we breathe charged air
while on the verge of nothing, we would still be breathing there
Post by Dental River
and let them think with it,
or with some other shit,
Post by Dental River
decide for us, rethink and decide
abide with us, repurpose and abide.
Post by Dental River
We are loosed into the forbidden sea around their planet,
as into the mansion were poor Brad and Janet,
Post by Dental River
they can no longer hide from their assassins
as to their lungs coronavirus fastens.
Post by Dental River
We take chase from them through the movements
of both destruction and improvements,
Post by Dental River
of our own crumbling music
our literature, our physic,
Post by Dental River
Let them hear us, find us
inform us and remind us.
Post by Dental River
Out of prisons of entropy, we hatch a whole plot
and what I mean by that is - oh dear, I quite forgot!
Post by Dental River
so they can use us,
and abuse us,
Post by Dental River
reduce it for us, misuse and lie.
But why do they do it? Why, oh why?
Post by Dental River
We clench like a grinning weapon gestated inside them,
as we decide we can no longer abide them,
Post by Dental River
they can no longer hide from their assassins
as to their lungs coronavirus fastens.
George, is this evidence of your trying to get along with people?
Actually, I was concentrating on the lines, not the poet. But, hey, if getting along "people" is more important:

'Twas a wonderful poem, DR: thoughtful and suggestive.
Post by NancyGene
If so, it is a fail. Your comments/additions in this fashion are unneeded.
Well, thank you for reading and commenting on my lines.
Z***@none.i2p
2020-05-22 06:05:27 UTC
Permalink
NancyGene wrote on Thu, 21 May 2020 20:19
Post by NancyGene
Post by George J. Dance
Post by Dental River
On the water's holy edge we smell a poignant bloom.
I think I'm almost choking in its smell of stale perfume.
Post by Dental River
Let them add to it,
with some other shit,
Post by Dental River
so they can subtract and add again.
and other smells may seep into my brain.
Post by Dental River
On the verge of everything, we breathe charged air
while on the verge of nothing, we would still be breathing there
Post by Dental River
and let them think with it,
or with some other shit,
Post by Dental River
decide for us, rethink and decide
abide with us, repurpose and abide.
Post by Dental River
We are loosed into the forbidden sea around their planet,
as into the mansion were poor Brad and Janet,
Post by Dental River
they can no longer hide from their assassins
as to their lungs coronavirus fastens.
Post by Dental River
We take chase from them through the movements
of both destruction and improvements,
Post by Dental River
of our own crumbling music
our literature, our physic,
Post by Dental River
Let them hear us, find us
inform us and remind us.
Post by Dental River
Out of prisons of entropy, we hatch a whole plot
and what I mean by that is - oh dear, I quite forgot!
Post by Dental River
so they can use us,
and abuse us,
Post by Dental River
reduce it for us, misuse and lie.
But why do they do it? Why, oh why?
Post by Dental River
We clench like a grinning weapon gestated inside them,
as we decide we can no longer abide them,
Post by Dental River
they can no longer hide from their assassins
as to their lungs coronavirus fastens.
George, is this evidence
Evidence of you being a fuckhead....?
Zod
2020-05-23 13:35:00 UTC
Permalink
Post by NancyGene
George, is this evidence of your trying to get along with people
It looks like a critique/comment on the poem to me.....
Rocky
2020-05-22 00:03:24 UTC
Permalink
Post by George J. Dance
Post by Dental River
On the water's holy edge we smell a poignant bloom.
I think I'm almost choking in its smell of stale perfume.
Post by Dental River
Let them add to it,
with some other shit,
Post by Dental River
so they can subtract and add again.
and other smells may seep into my brain.
Post by Dental River
On the verge of everything, we breathe charged air
while on the verge of nothing, we would still be breathing there
Post by Dental River
and let them think with it,
or with some other shit,
Post by Dental River
decide for us, rethink and decide
abide with us, repurpose and abide.
Post by Dental River
We are loosed into the forbidden sea around their planet,
as into the mansion were poor Brad and Janet,
Post by Dental River
they can no longer hide from their assassins
as to their lungs coronavirus fastens.
Post by Dental River
We take chase from them through the movements
of both destruction and improvements,
Post by Dental River
of our own crumbling music
our literature, our physic,
Post by Dental River
Let them hear us, find us
inform us and remind us.
Post by Dental River
Out of prisons of entropy, we hatch a whole plot
and what I mean by that is - oh dear, I quite forgot!
Post by Dental River
so they can use us,
and abuse us,
Post by Dental River
reduce it for us, misuse and lie.
But why do they do it? Why, oh why?
Post by Dental River
We clench like a grinning weapon gestated inside them,
as we decide we can no longer abide them,
Post by Dental River
they can no longer hide from their assassins
as to their lungs coronavirus fastens.
Well put G.D.
NancyGene
2020-05-22 00:15:25 UTC
Permalink
Post by Rocky
Post by George J. Dance
Post by Dental River
On the water's holy edge we smell a poignant bloom.
I think I'm almost choking in its smell of stale perfume.
Post by Dental River
Let them add to it,
with some other shit,
Post by Dental River
so they can subtract and add again.
and other smells may seep into my brain.
Post by Dental River
On the verge of everything, we breathe charged air
while on the verge of nothing, we would still be breathing there
Post by Dental River
and let them think with it,
or with some other shit,
Post by Dental River
decide for us, rethink and decide
abide with us, repurpose and abide.
Post by Dental River
We are loosed into the forbidden sea around their planet,
as into the mansion were poor Brad and Janet,
Post by Dental River
they can no longer hide from their assassins
as to their lungs coronavirus fastens.
Post by Dental River
We take chase from them through the movements
of both destruction and improvements,
Post by Dental River
of our own crumbling music
our literature, our physic,
Post by Dental River
Let them hear us, find us
inform us and remind us.
Post by Dental River
Out of prisons of entropy, we hatch a whole plot
and what I mean by that is - oh dear, I quite forgot!
Post by Dental River
so they can use us,
and abuse us,
Post by Dental River
reduce it for us, misuse and lie.
But why do they do it? Why, oh why?
Post by Dental River
We clench like a grinning weapon gestated inside them,
as we decide we can no longer abide them,
Post by Dental River
they can no longer hide from their assassins
as to their lungs coronavirus fastens.
Well put G.D.
George Sulzbach, you can't have read what George Dance wrote to accompany/defile DR's poem. Shame on you.
Rocky
2020-05-22 00:21:05 UTC
Permalink
Post by NancyGene
Post by Rocky
Post by George J. Dance
Post by Dental River
On the water's holy edge we smell a poignant bloom.
I think I'm almost choking in its smell of stale perfume.
Post by Dental River
Let them add to it,
with some other shit,
Post by Dental River
so they can subtract and add again.
and other smells may seep into my brain.
Post by Dental River
On the verge of everything, we breathe charged air
while on the verge of nothing, we would still be breathing there
Post by Dental River
and let them think with it,
or with some other shit,
Post by Dental River
decide for us, rethink and decide
abide with us, repurpose and abide.
Post by Dental River
We are loosed into the forbidden sea around their planet,
as into the mansion were poor Brad and Janet,
Post by Dental River
they can no longer hide from their assassins
as to their lungs coronavirus fastens.
Post by Dental River
We take chase from them through the movements
of both destruction and improvements,
Post by Dental River
of our own crumbling music
our literature, our physic,
Post by Dental River
Let them hear us, find us
inform us and remind us.
Post by Dental River
Out of prisons of entropy, we hatch a whole plot
and what I mean by that is - oh dear, I quite forgot!
Post by Dental River
so they can use us,
and abuse us,
Post by Dental River
reduce it for us, misuse and lie.
But why do they do it? Why, oh why?
Post by Dental River
We clench like a grinning weapon gestated inside them,
as we decide we can no longer abide them,
Post by Dental River
they can no longer hide from their assassins
as to their lungs coronavirus fastens.
Well put G.D.
George Sulzbach, you can't have read what George Dance wrote to accompany/defile DR's poem. Shame on you.
Wrong,NancyG…..
ME
2020-05-22 00:22:19 UTC
Permalink
Post by NancyGene
Post by Rocky
Post by George J. Dance
Post by Dental River
On the water's holy edge we smell a poignant bloom.
I think I'm almost choking in its smell of stale perfume.
Post by Dental River
Let them add to it,
with some other shit,
Post by Dental River
so they can subtract and add again.
and other smells may seep into my brain.
Post by Dental River
On the verge of everything, we breathe charged air
while on the verge of nothing, we would still be breathing there
Post by Dental River
and let them think with it,
or with some other shit,
Post by Dental River
decide for us, rethink and decide
abide with us, repurpose and abide.
Post by Dental River
We are loosed into the forbidden sea around their planet,
as into the mansion were poor Brad and Janet,
Post by Dental River
they can no longer hide from their assassins
as to their lungs coronavirus fastens.
Post by Dental River
We take chase from them through the movements
of both destruction and improvements,
Post by Dental River
of our own crumbling music
our literature, our physic,
Post by Dental River
Let them hear us, find us
inform us and remind us.
Post by Dental River
Out of prisons of entropy, we hatch a whole plot
and what I mean by that is - oh dear, I quite forgot!
Post by Dental River
so they can use us,
and abuse us,
Post by Dental River
reduce it for us, misuse and lie.
But why do they do it? Why, oh why?
Post by Dental River
We clench like a grinning weapon gestated inside them,
as we decide we can no longer abide them,
Post by Dental River
they can no longer hide from their assassins
as to their lungs coronavirus fastens.
Well put G.D.
George Sulzbach, you can't have read what George Dance wrote to accompany/defile DR's poem. Shame on you.
NG, he’s supposed to respond with the ‘well put’ slurp at least once a day.
It’s in his contract.
Z***@none.i2p
2020-05-22 01:53:51 UTC
Permalink
ME[8
Post by NancyGene
Post by Rocky
Post by George J. Dance
Post by Dental River
On the water's holy edge we smell a poignant bloom.
I think I'm almost choking in its smell of stale perfume.
Post by Dental River
Let them add to it,
with some other shit,
Post by Dental River
so they can subtract and add again.
and other smells may seep into my brain.
Post by Dental River
On the verge of everything, we breathe charged air
while on the verge of nothing, we would still be breathing there
Post by Dental River
and let them think with it,
or with some other shit,
Post by Dental River
decide for us, rethink and decide
abide with us, repurpose and abide.
Post by Dental River
We are loosed into the forbidden sea around their planet,
as into the mansion were poor Brad and Janet,
Post by Dental River
they can no longer hide from their assassins
as to their lungs coronavirus fastens.
Post by Dental River
We take chase from them through the movements
of both destruction and improvements,
Post by Dental River
of our own crumbling music
our literature, our physic,
Post by Dental River
Let them hear us, find us
inform us and remind us.
Post by Dental River
Out of prisons of entropy, we hatch a whole plot
and what I mean by that is - oh dear, I quite forgot!
Post by Dental River
so they can use us,
and abuse us,
Post by Dental River
reduce it for us, misuse and lie.
But why do they do it? Why, oh why?
Post by Dental River
We clench like a grinning weapon gestated inside them,
as we decide we can no longer abide them,
Post by Dental River
they can no longer hide from their assassins
as to their lungs coronavirus fastens.
Well put G.D.
George Sulzbach, you can't have read what George Dance wrote to accompany/defile DR's poem. Shame on you.
NG, he's supposed to respond with the 'well put' slurp at least once a day.
It's in his contract.
Only when appropriate.....
George J. Dance
2020-05-22 02:58:38 UTC
Permalink
Post by NancyGene
Post by Rocky
Post by George J. Dance
Post by Dental River
On the water's holy edge we smell a poignant bloom.
I think I'm almost choking in its smell of stale perfume.
Post by Dental River
Let them add to it,
with some other shit,
Post by Dental River
so they can subtract and add again.
and other smells may seep into my brain.
Post by Dental River
On the verge of everything, we breathe charged air
while on the verge of nothing, we would still be breathing there
Post by Dental River
and let them think with it,
or with some other shit,
Post by Dental River
decide for us, rethink and decide
abide with us, repurpose and abide.
Post by Dental River
We are loosed into the forbidden sea around their planet,
as into the mansion were poor Brad and Janet,
Post by Dental River
they can no longer hide from their assassins
as to their lungs coronavirus fastens.
Post by Dental River
We take chase from them through the movements
of both destruction and improvements,
Post by Dental River
of our own crumbling music
our literature, our physic,
Post by Dental River
Let them hear us, find us
inform us and remind us.
Post by Dental River
Out of prisons of entropy, we hatch a whole plot
and what I mean by that is - oh dear, I quite forgot!
Post by Dental River
so they can use us,
and abuse us,
Post by Dental River
reduce it for us, misuse and lie.
But why do they do it? Why, oh why?
Post by Dental River
We clench like a grinning weapon gestated inside them,
as we decide we can no longer abide them,
Post by Dental River
they can no longer hide from their assassins
as to their lungs coronavirus fastens.
Well put G.D.
Because his opinion of it was different from yours?
Post by NancyGene
to accompany/defile DR's poem. Shame on you.
k***@gmail.com
2020-05-22 10:59:43 UTC
Permalink
Post by George J. Dance
Post by NancyGene
Post by Rocky
Post by George J. Dance
Post by Dental River
On the water's holy edge we smell a poignant bloom.
I think I'm almost choking in its smell of stale perfume.
Post by Dental River
Let them add to it,
with some other shit,
Post by Dental River
so they can subtract and add again.
and other smells may seep into my brain.
Post by Dental River
On the verge of everything, we breathe charged air
while on the verge of nothing, we would still be breathing there
Post by Dental River
and let them think with it,
or with some other shit,
Post by Dental River
decide for us, rethink and decide
abide with us, repurpose and abide.
Post by Dental River
We are loosed into the forbidden sea around their planet,
as into the mansion were poor Brad and Janet,
Post by Dental River
they can no longer hide from their assassins
as to their lungs coronavirus fastens.
Post by Dental River
We take chase from them through the movements
of both destruction and improvements,
Post by Dental River
of our own crumbling music
our literature, our physic,
Post by Dental River
Let them hear us, find us
inform us and remind us.
Post by Dental River
Out of prisons of entropy, we hatch a whole plot
and what I mean by that is - oh dear, I quite forgot!
Post by Dental River
so they can use us,
and abuse us,
Post by Dental River
reduce it for us, misuse and lie.
But why do they do it? Why, oh why?
Post by Dental River
We clench like a grinning weapon gestated inside them,
as we decide we can no longer abide them,
Post by Dental River
they can no longer hide from their assassins
as to their lungs coronavirus fastens.
Well put G.D.
Because his opinion of it was different from yours?
Post by NancyGene
to accompany/defile DR's poem. Shame on you.
George, what you did to DR's poem was Dinkesque, and you know it.

Peace.
George J. Dance
2020-05-22 14:50:14 UTC
Permalink
Post by k***@gmail.com
Post by George J. Dance
Post by NancyGene
Post by Rocky
Post by George J. Dance
Post by Dental River
On the water's holy edge we smell a poignant bloom.
I think I'm almost choking in its smell of stale perfume.
Post by Dental River
Let them add to it,
with some other shit,
Post by Dental River
so they can subtract and add again.
and other smells may seep into my brain.
Post by Dental River
On the verge of everything, we breathe charged air
while on the verge of nothing, we would still be breathing there
Post by Dental River
and let them think with it,
or with some other shit,
Post by Dental River
decide for us, rethink and decide
abide with us, repurpose and abide.
Post by Dental River
We are loosed into the forbidden sea around their planet,
as into the mansion were poor Brad and Janet,
Post by Dental River
they can no longer hide from their assassins
as to their lungs coronavirus fastens.
Post by Dental River
We take chase from them through the movements
of both destruction and improvements,
Post by Dental River
of our own crumbling music
our literature, our physic,
Post by Dental River
Let them hear us, find us
inform us and remind us.
Post by Dental River
Out of prisons of entropy, we hatch a whole plot
and what I mean by that is - oh dear, I quite forgot!
Post by Dental River
so they can use us,
and abuse us,
Post by Dental River
reduce it for us, misuse and lie.
But why do they do it? Why, oh why?
Post by Dental River
We clench like a grinning weapon gestated inside them,
as we decide we can no longer abide them,
Post by Dental River
they can no longer hide from their assassins
as to their lungs coronavirus fastens.
Well put G.D.
Because his opinion of it was different from yours?
Post by NancyGene
to accompany/defile DR's poem. Shame on you.
George, what you did to DR's poem was Dinkesque, and you know it.
No, it was Rossesque - with the difference that his rhyming lines were always about the original poet, and I kept mine about the original poem. I won't try to pretend the result was a great poem, but it was an interesting, and the concluding couplet approaches greatness.
Post by k***@gmail.com
Peace.
Shalom to you, Karen.
k***@gmail.com
2020-05-22 15:18:04 UTC
Permalink
Post by George J. Dance
Post by k***@gmail.com
Post by George J. Dance
Post by NancyGene
Post by Rocky
Post by George J. Dance
Post by Dental River
On the water's holy edge we smell a poignant bloom.
I think I'm almost choking in its smell of stale perfume.
Post by Dental River
Let them add to it,
with some other shit,
Post by Dental River
so they can subtract and add again.
and other smells may seep into my brain.
Post by Dental River
On the verge of everything, we breathe charged air
while on the verge of nothing, we would still be breathing there
Post by Dental River
and let them think with it,
or with some other shit,
Post by Dental River
decide for us, rethink and decide
abide with us, repurpose and abide.
Post by Dental River
We are loosed into the forbidden sea around their planet,
as into the mansion were poor Brad and Janet,
Post by Dental River
they can no longer hide from their assassins
as to their lungs coronavirus fastens.
Post by Dental River
We take chase from them through the movements
of both destruction and improvements,
Post by Dental River
of our own crumbling music
our literature, our physic,
Post by Dental River
Let them hear us, find us
inform us and remind us.
Post by Dental River
Out of prisons of entropy, we hatch a whole plot
and what I mean by that is - oh dear, I quite forgot!
Post by Dental River
so they can use us,
and abuse us,
Post by Dental River
reduce it for us, misuse and lie.
But why do they do it? Why, oh why?
Post by Dental River
We clench like a grinning weapon gestated inside them,
as we decide we can no longer abide them,
Post by Dental River
they can no longer hide from their assassins
as to their lungs coronavirus fastens.
Well put G.D.
Because his opinion of it was different from yours?
Post by NancyGene
to accompany/defile DR's poem. Shame on you.
George, what you did to DR's poem was Dinkesque, and you know it.
No, it was Rossesque - with the difference that his rhyming lines were always about the original poet, and I kept mine about the original poem. I won't try to pretend the result was a great poem, but it was an interesting, and the concluding couplet approaches greatness.
Post by k***@gmail.com
Peace.
Shalom to you, Karen.
I stand corrected; Rosseque is more accurate, and you did satirize the poem rather than the poet.
Zod
2020-05-23 14:14:00 UTC
Permalink
Post by k***@gmail.com
Post by George J. Dance
Post by k***@gmail.com
Post by George J. Dance
Post by NancyGene
Post by Rocky
Post by George J. Dance
Post by Dental River
On the water's holy edge we smell a poignant bloom.
I think I'm almost choking in its smell of stale perfume.
Post by Dental River
Let them add to it,
with some other shit,
Post by Dental River
so they can subtract and add again.
and other smells may seep into my brain.
Post by Dental River
On the verge of everything, we breathe charged air
while on the verge of nothing, we would still be breathing there
Post by Dental River
and let them think with it,
or with some other shit,
Post by Dental River
decide for us, rethink and decide
abide with us, repurpose and abide.
Post by Dental River
We are loosed into the forbidden sea around their planet,
as into the mansion were poor Brad and Janet,
Post by Dental River
they can no longer hide from their assassins
as to their lungs coronavirus fastens.
Post by Dental River
We take chase from them through the movements
of both destruction and improvements,
Post by Dental River
of our own crumbling music
our literature, our physic,
Post by Dental River
Let them hear us, find us
inform us and remind us.
Post by Dental River
Out of prisons of entropy, we hatch a whole plot
and what I mean by that is - oh dear, I quite forgot!
Post by Dental River
so they can use us,
and abuse us,
Post by Dental River
reduce it for us, misuse and lie.
But why do they do it? Why, oh why?
Post by Dental River
We clench like a grinning weapon gestated inside them,
as we decide we can no longer abide them,
Post by Dental River
they can no longer hide from their assassins
as to their lungs coronavirus fastens.
Well put G.D.
Because his opinion of it was different from yours?
Post by NancyGene
to accompany/defile DR's poem. Shame on you.
George, what you did to DR's poem was Dinkesque, and you know it.
No, it was Rossesque - with the difference that his rhyming lines were always about the original poet, and I kept mine about the original poem. I won't try to pretend the result was a great poem, but it was an interesting, and the concluding couplet approaches greatness.
Post by k***@gmail.com
Peace.
Shalom to you, Karen.
I stand corrected; Rosseque is more accurate, and you did satirize the poem rather than the poet.
Agreed and seconded......
Zod
2020-05-23 21:24:00 UTC
Permalink
Post by k***@gmail.com
Post by George J. Dance
Post by NancyGene
Post by Rocky
Post by George J. Dance
Post by Dental River
On the water's holy edge we smell a poignant bloom.
I think I'm almost choking in its smell of stale perfume.
Post by Dental River
Let them add to it,
with some other shit,
Post by Dental River
so they can subtract and add again.
and other smells may seep into my brain.
Post by Dental River
On the verge of everything, we breathe charged air
while on the verge of nothing, we would still be breathing there
Post by Dental River
and let them think with it,
or with some other shit,
Post by Dental River
decide for us, rethink and decide
abide with us, repurpose and abide.
Post by Dental River
We are loosed into the forbidden sea around their planet,
as into the mansion were poor Brad and Janet,
Post by Dental River
they can no longer hide from their assassins
as to their lungs coronavirus fastens.
Post by Dental River
We take chase from them through the movements
of both destruction and improvements,
Post by Dental River
of our own crumbling music
our literature, our physic,
Post by Dental River
Let them hear us, find us
inform us and remind us.
Post by Dental River
Out of prisons of entropy, we hatch a whole plot
and what I mean by that is - oh dear, I quite forgot!
Post by Dental River
so they can use us,
and abuse us,
Post by Dental River
reduce it for us, misuse and lie.
But why do they do it? Why, oh why?
Post by Dental River
We clench like a grinning weapon gestated inside them,
as we decide we can no longer abide them,
Post by Dental River
they can no longer hide from their assassins
as to their lungs coronavirus fastens.
Well put G.D.
Because his opinion of it was different from yours?
Post by NancyGene
to accompany/defile DR's poem. Shame on you.
George, what you did to DR's poem was Dinkesque, and you know it.
Peace.
More malicious forgery from Dental River....

Subject: Re: Forgers
From: barrybialos @gmail.com (HEY EVERYBODY IT'S SYDNE!)
Newsgroups: alt.arts.poetry.comments
Date: Sat, 23 May 2020 20:59 UTC

Thus is the sleazebag Barry is.....
Rocky
2020-06-05 23:37:14 UTC
Permalink
Post by George J. Dance
Post by Dental River
On the water's holy edge we smell a poignant bloom.
I think I'm almost choking in its smell of stale perfume.
Post by Dental River
Let them add to it,
with some other shit,
Post by Dental River
so they can subtract and add again.
and other smells may seep into my brain.
Post by Dental River
On the verge of everything, we breathe charged air
while on the verge of nothing, we would still be breathing there
Post by Dental River
and let them think with it,
or with some other shit,
Post by Dental River
decide for us, rethink and decide
abide with us, repurpose and abide.
Post by Dental River
We are loosed into the forbidden sea around their planet,
as into the mansion were poor Brad and Janet,
Post by Dental River
they can no longer hide from their assassins
as to their lungs coronavirus fastens.
Post by Dental River
We take chase from them through the movements
of both destruction and improvements,
Post by Dental River
of our own crumbling music
our literature, our physic,
Post by Dental River
Let them hear us, find us
inform us and remind us.
Post by Dental River
Out of prisons of entropy, we hatch a whole plot
and what I mean by that is - oh dear, I quite forgot!
Post by Dental River
so they can use us,
and abuse us,
Post by Dental River
reduce it for us, misuse and lie.
But why do they do it? Why, oh why?
Post by Dental River
We clench like a grinning weapon gestated inside them,
as we decide we can no longer abide them,
Post by Dental River
they can no longer hide from their assassins
as to their lungs coronavirus fastens.
Hurry back, G.D. we miss you here...!

Z***@none.i2p
2020-05-22 11:44:20 UTC
Permalink
Post by George J. Dance
Post by NancyGene
Post by Rocky
Post by George J. Dance
Post by Dental River
On the water's holy edge we smell a poignant bloom.
I think I'm almost choking in its smell of stale perfume.
Post by Dental River
Let them add to it,
with some other shit,
Post by Dental River
so they can subtract and add again.
and other smells may seep into my brain.
Post by Dental River
On the verge of everything, we breathe charged air
while on the verge of nothing, we would still be breathing there
Post by Dental River
and let them think with it,
or with some other shit,
Post by Dental River
decide for us, rethink and decide
abide with us, repurpose and abide.
Post by Dental River
We are loosed into the forbidden sea around their planet,
as into the mansion were poor Brad and Janet,
Post by Dental River
they can no longer hide from their assassins
as to their lungs coronavirus fastens.
Post by Dental River
We take chase from them through the movements
of both destruction and improvements,
Post by Dental River
of our own crumbling music
our literature, our physic,
Post by Dental River
Let them hear us, find us
inform us and remind us.
Post by Dental River
Out of prisons of entropy, we hatch a whole plot
and what I mean by that is - oh dear, I quite forgot!
Post by Dental River
so they can use us,
and abuse us,
Post by Dental River
reduce it for us, misuse and lie.
But why do they do it? Why, oh why?
Post by Dental River
We clench like a grinning weapon gestated inside them,
as we decide we can no longer abide them,
Post by Dental River
they can no longer hide from their assassins
as to their lungs coronavirus fastens.
Well put G.D.
Because his opinion of it was different from yours?
Post by NancyGene
to accompany/defile DR's poem. Shame on you.
Exactly......
Zod
2020-05-23 13:52:00 UTC
Permalink
You want to know the kinds of things Dental River does, Ktell, fo one, he is the worst of the personal attack forgers, just last week posting the disgusting attacks on Doc, using his mother's name:

https://groups.google.com/forum/#!original/alt.arts.poetry.comments/Me99AGDnywU/f8VmZqmkAAAJ

Message-ID: <a72c254a-d590-4012-9c9e-***@googlegroups.com>
Subject: Re: Forgers
From: Mxxxxxxxx Dxxxx <***@gmail.com>
Injection-Date: Tue, 19 May 2020 09:49:25 +0000
NNTP-Posting-Host: 2602:30a:2c0a:f530:49ae:e4f4:66f:cbfb

"Barry" is Dental River....
Zod
2020-05-23 14:03:00 UTC
Permalink
You want to know the kinds of things Dental River does, Ktell, for one, he is the worst of the personal attack forgers, just last week posting the disgusting attacks on Doc, using his mother's name:

https://groups.google.com/forum/#!original/alt.arts.poetry.comments/Me99AGDnywU/f8VmZqmkAAAJ

Message-ID: <a72c254a-d590-4012-9c9e-***@googlegroups.com>
Subject: Re: Forgers
From: Mxxxxxxxx Dxxxx <***@gmail.com>
Injection-Date: Tue, 19 May 2020 09:49:25 +0000
NNTP-Posting-Host: 2602:30a:2c0a:f530:49ae:e4f4:66f:cbfb

"Barry" is Dental River....

If anyone should apologize, Barry should apologize to Doc.....

As if THAT would ever happen or even be suggested.....
Mildred Dockery
2020-05-23 14:09:45 UTC
Permalink
Post by Zod
https://groups.google.com/forum/#!original/alt.arts.poetry.comments/Me99AGDnywU/f8VmZqmkAAAJ
Subject: Re: Forgers
Injection-Date: Tue, 19 May 2020 09:49:25 +0000
NNTP-Posting-Host: 2602:30a:2c0a:f530:49ae:e4f4:66f:cbfb
"Barry" is Dental River....
If anyone should apologize, Barry should apologize to Doc.....
As if THAT would ever happen or even be suggested.....
Shut up about Barry. We were once lovers.
Zod
2020-05-23 14:19:00 UTC
Permalink
Post by Mildred Dockery
Post by Zod
https://groups.google.com/forum/#!original/alt.arts.poetry.comments/Me99AGDnywU/f8VmZqmkAAAJ
Subject: Re: Forgers
Injection-Date: Tue, 19 May 2020 09:49:25 +0000
NNTP-Posting-Host: 2602:30a:2c0a:f530:49ae:e4f4:66f:cbfb
"Barry" is Dental River....
If anyone should apologize, Barry should apologize to Doc.....
As if THAT would ever happen or even be suggested.....
Shut up about Barry
You ARE "Barry", you scumbag troll....

Subject: Re: On The Water's Holy Edge
From: ***@gmail.com (Mildred Dockery)
Newsgroups: alt.arts.poetry.comments
Date: Sat, 23 May 2020 14:09 UTC

There you go, Ktell, observe that.....
Ellen B. Horny
2020-05-24 17:44:22 UTC
Permalink
Post by Mildred Dockery
Shut up about Barry. We were once lovers.
What?? You are a liar. He told me that I was his first. That was last month and I believe Barry over you. He said he would come back for me and I should wait for him. I am looking out the window right now but I don't see him yet.
Peter J Ross
2020-06-05 19:58:43 UTC
Permalink
In alt.arts.poetry.comments on Sat, 23 May 2020 07:09:45 -0700 (PDT),
Post by Mildred Dockery
Post by Zod
https://groups.google.com/forum/#!original/alt.arts.poetry.comments/Me99AGDnywU/f8VmZqmkAAAJ
Subject: Re: Forgers
Injection-Date: Tue, 19 May 2020 09:49:25 +0000
NNTP-Posting-Host: 2602:30a:2c0a:f530:49ae:e4f4:66f:cbfb
"Barry" is Dental River....
If anyone should apologize, Barry should apologize to Doc.....
As if THAT would ever happen or even be suggested.....
Shut up about Barry. We were once lovers.
That would be considered shocking in Columbus, GA.

Unless, of course, you and Barry were also siblings, in which case it
would be considered perfectly ordinary in Columbus, GA.
--
PJR :-)

μεγάλη ἡ ἀλήθεια καὶ ὑπερισχύει.
- Esdras A 4.41
Zod
2020-06-05 20:04:00 UTC
Permalink
Post by Zod
You asked George Dance to apologize to Dental River, correct, Pendragon..?
I did not ask George Dance to apologize in *this* threadxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxxxxx
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

It was in reference to the post in this thread, correct..?
Zod
2020-05-23 14:11:00 UTC
Permalink
Let us examine George J. Dance’s contributions to Dental River’s poem “On The Water's Holy Edge.”
Oh, goody; I'm getting an NG "critique".
Mr. Dance inserted his own lines after each of DR’s, for reasons we don’t understand.
"We don't understand" is a recurring theme in NG's "critiques".
If the lines were meant to improve the poem, they didn’t. If they were meant to mock the poem, that effort was a failure since Mr. Dance’s writing, at its very best, is pedestrian. If they were meant to be funny, Mr. Dance is not a comedian.
And if they were meant to eliminate the coronavirus, they failed that way, too. We could spend all day on what the lines could have meant.
On the water's holy edge we smell a poignant bloom.
I think I'm almost choking in its smell of stale perfume.
Note that Mr. Dance changed DR’s “We” to be now “I.” Who is “its?”
The bloom's, of course. The speaker's with a group of people who smell the bloom; but only the speaker is choking.
(NG loses points for missing the song reference.)
Let them add to it,
with some other shit,
How did the shit fly into the poem?
They're adding to a bad smell. "Shit" is an appropriate metaphor for that.
so they can subtract and add again.
and other smells may seep into my brain.
Are smells in your brain?
Of course, dear: smells, like sounds, are mental events.
On the verge of everything, we breathe charged air
while on the verge of nothing, we would still be breathing there
Where is “there?”
On the verge of nothing (as opposed to where the speaker and his group are, on the verge of everything).
and let them think with it,
or with some other shit,
You already used this line.
Just as in the original text: both are repeated (but slightly varied) lines..
You do tend to overuse the same words.
You do tend to complain about the same things.
decide for us, rethink and decide.
abide with us, repurpose and abide.
Abide times two.
Matching "decide" x 2 in the original text.
Now, instead of “I,” it is “us?”
Of course: "They" are deciding for all of "us," not just the speaker.
We are loosed into the forbidden sea around their planet,
as into the mansion were poor Brad and Janet,
Very overused cliche’. Perhaps an obscure The Who lyric would fit here? How about “Rough toys
Under the sheets.”
(1) it's does not fit the rhyme or meter; (2) the original text already alluded to RHPH by bringing up "forbidden ... planet" - my line underscored that.
they can no longer hide from their assassins
as to their lungs coronavirus fastens.
Awkward wording.
Nonsense; it's a wonderful couplet, the best thing in the whole piece.
As Michael has written, who talks like that?
Dryden, for one; I'm sorry you missed the threads where we've discussed inversion.
We take chase from them through the movements
of both destruction and improvements,
“Improvements” is a lazy word to use and doesn’t fit with “destruction.”
Of course it does; it tells us that "their" actions are both positive and negative. It's a very pedestrian word, but using those for effect is something I've been doing since I first read Eliot.
Rebuilding, refinements, enhancements—many other words would be better.
Not one of those actually rhymes with 'improvements', you know.
of our own crumbling music,
our literature, our physic,
You get diarrhea from reading your own writings?
Music, literature, and science are all crumbling. Even you might have understood that couplet, if you'd only refrained from butchering the text.
Let them hear us, find us,
inform us and remind us.
Inspiration from purgatives?
Bad guess, but wrong.
Out of prisons of entropy, we hatch a whole plot
and what I mean by that is - oh dear, I quite forgot!
Awful, awful, even in a parody poem.
It's just a comment on the obliqueness of the previous line; more parody than poem, admittedly. I may edit it out later, but it still gives me a chuckle.
You are now back to “I” when you were using “we” before. Please be constant in your use of pronouns.
The speaker uses "I" when referring to himself, and "we" when referring to the group he's in (the people first running from, and now being caught by, "them")
so they can use us,
and abuse us,
Why, exactly, is that? Most people would gladly abuse you and the company of your choice.
(NG loses more points for missing another song reference.)
reduce it for us, misuse and lie.
But why do they do it? Why, oh why?
Because it is fun and you are punchable.
NG seems to have forgotten that they were pretending to offer an honest "critique" of the lines.
We clench like a grinning weapon gestated inside them
as we decide we can no longer abide them,
Who is “we” and who are “them?”
The same people they were in the previous line, and that they've been ever since L1 (in the case of "we") and L3 (in the case of "them").
Once again: if you hadn't been intent on not reading the piece, even you might have understood that.
they can no longer hide from their assassins
as to their lungs coronavirus fastens.
You already said this.
Once again: it's a repeated line in response to a repeated line - a 'refrain'.
Whose lungs are you talking about?
Those who can no longer hide from their assassins. It's a powerful message: no matter who they are, no matter where they go, no matter what they do, someone - anyone - can kill them just by breathing on them.
We see no reason for Mr. Dance to have added his lines to DR’s poem. The Dance lines were not clever, funny, insightful, or Rossesque.
Not everyone agrees with you on at least the last point.
If Mr. Dance is trying to imitate PJR, he needs a bigger tool box.
Oh, no: PJ used to do this to add lines commenting on the original poet, not the original poem.
Again, well put, G.D.


------------------------------------
Peter J Ross
2020-06-05 20:06:23 UTC
Permalink
<drivelsnip>
Post by Zod
If Mr. Dance is trying to imitate PJR, he needs a bigger tool box.
Oh, no: PJ used to do this to add lines commenting on the original
poet, not the original poem.
Again, well put, G.D.
There was an old fascist, G.D.,
who tried very hard to be me.
He tried but he failed,
and by Prancy was nailed,
that silly old fascist, G.D.
--
PJR :-)

μεγάλη ἡ ἀλήθεια καὶ ὑπερισχύει.
- Esdras A 4.41
Zod
2020-06-05 20:11:00 UTC
Permalink
Post by Peter J Ross
<drivelsnip>
Post by Zod
If Mr. Dance is trying to imitate PJR, he needs a bigger tool box.
Oh, no: PJ used to do this to add lines commenting on the original
poet, not the original poem.
Again, well put, G.D.
There was an old fascist, G.D.,
who tried very hard to be me.
He tried but he failed,
and by Prancy was nailed,
that silly old fascist, G.D.
Well, look a there, Peter wrote a poem....
Peter J Ross
2020-06-05 20:35:53 UTC
Permalink
Post by Zod
Post by Peter J Ross
<drivelsnip>
Post by Zod
If Mr. Dance is trying to imitate PJR, he needs a bigger tool box.
Oh, no: PJ used to do this to add lines commenting on the original
poet, not the original poem.
Again, well put, G.D.
There was an old fascist, G.D.,
who tried very hard to be me.
He tried but he failed,
and by Prancy was nailed,
that silly old fascist, G.D.
Well, look a there, Peter wrote a poem....
Now it's your turn.

Feel free to spend five years acquiring basic literacy in
preparation.
--
PJR :-)

μεγάλη ἡ ἀλήθεια καὶ ὑπερισχύει.
- Esdras A 4.41
Zod
2020-06-05 22:32:00 UTC
Permalink
Post by Peter J Ross
Post by Zod
Post by Peter J Ross
Post by Zod
I have written a few.............
The challenge is to improvise one in the space of a minute or two.
No, I write from inspiration, not on a dare....
You lose
No, I did not agree to participate.....
Zod
2020-06-05 20:18:00 UTC
Permalink
Post by Peter J Ross
Post by Zod
Barry the fuckhead.....
Ah, witty intellectual repartee! This is what brings me back to Usenet!
--
PJR :-)
μεγάλη ἡ ἀλήθεια καὶ ὑπερισχύει.
- Esdras A 4.41
Welcome back, then....!
Zod
2020-06-05 20:39:00 UTC
Permalink
Post by Peter J Ross
Post by Zod
Post by Peter J Ross
<drivelsnip>
Post by Zod
If Mr. Dance is trying to imitate PJR, he needs a bigger tool box.
Oh, no: PJ used to do this to add lines commenting on the original
poet, not the original poem.
Again, well put, G.D.
There was an old fascist, G.D.,
who tried very hard to be me.
He tried but he failed,
and by Prancy was nailed,
that silly old fascist, G.D.
Well, look a there, Peter wrote a poem....
Now it's your turn.
I have written a few.............
Peter J Ross
2020-06-05 20:54:41 UTC
Permalink
Post by Zod
Post by Peter J Ross
Post by Zod
Post by Peter J Ross
<drivelsnip>
Post by Zod
If Mr. Dance is trying to imitate PJR, he needs a bigger tool box.
Oh, no: PJ used to do this to add lines commenting on the original
poet, not the original poem.
Again, well put, G.D.
There was an old fascist, G.D.,
who tried very hard to be me.
He tried but he failed,
and by Prancy was nailed,
that silly old fascist, G.D.
Well, look a there, Peter wrote a poem....
Now it's your turn.
I have written a few.............
The challenge is to improvise one in the space of a minute or two.

Your response to the challenge goes here:








Another good challenge is to write a sonnet (with certain specified
restrictions) in the space of thirty minutes, but we'll save that one
for your Poetry 201 course.
--
PJR :-)

μεγάλη ἡ ἀλήθεια καὶ ὑπερισχύει.
- Esdras A 4.41
Zod
2020-06-05 21:01:00 UTC
Permalink
Post by Peter J Ross
Post by Zod
I have written a few.............
The challenge is to improvise one in the space of a minute or two.
No, I write from inspiration, not on a dare....
Peter J Ross
2020-06-05 22:20:40 UTC
Permalink
Post by Zod
Post by Peter J Ross
Post by Zod
I have written a few.............
The challenge is to improvise one in the space of a minute or two.
No, I write from inspiration, not on a dare....
You lose.

As always.
--
PJR :-)

μεγάλη ἡ ἀλήθεια καὶ ὑπερισχύει.
- Esdras A 4.41
Zod
2020-05-23 14:23:00 UTC
Permalink
Post by Mildred Dockery
Post by Zod
https://groups.google.com/forum/#!original/alt.arts.poetry.comments/Me99AGDnywU/f8VmZqmkAAAJ
Subject: Re: Forgers
Injection-Date: Tue, 19 May 2020 09:49:25 +0000
NNTP-Posting-Host: 2602:30a:2c0a:f530:49ae:e4f4:66f:cbfb
"Barry" is Dental River....
If anyone should apologize, Barry should apologize to Doc.....
As if THAT would ever happen or even be suggested.....
Shut up about Barry
You ARE "Barry", you scumbag troll....

Subject: Re: On The Water's Holy Edge
From: barrybialos @gmail.com (Mildred Dockery)
Newsgroups: alt.arts.poetry.comments
Date: Sat, 23 May 2020 14:09 UTC

There you go, Ktell, observe that.....

Now where is Pendragon whining about an apology....?

?
drive-by
2020-05-23 14:44:15 UTC
Permalink
Post by Zod
Post by Mildred Dockery
Post by Zod
https://groups.google.com/forum/#!original/alt.arts.poetry.comments/Me99AGDnywU/f8VmZqmkAAAJ
Subject: Re: Forgers
Injection-Date: Tue, 19 May 2020 09:49:25 +0000
NNTP-Posting-Host: 2602:30a:2c0a:f530:49ae:e4f4:66f:cbfb
"Barry" is Dental River....
If anyone should apologize, Barry should apologize to Doc.....
As if THAT would ever happen or even be suggested.....
Shut up about Barry
You ARE "Barry", you scumbag troll....
Subject: Re: On The Water's Holy Edge
Newsgroups: alt.arts.poetry.comments
Date: Sat, 23 May 2020 14:09 UTC
There you go, Ktell, observe that.....
Now where is Pendragon whining about an apology....?
?
Are you fucking 12?
Michael Pendragon
2020-05-24 04:32:45 UTC
Permalink
Post by Zod
Post by Mildred Dockery
Post by Zod
https://groups.google.com/forum/#!original/alt.arts.poetry.comments/Me99AGDnywU/f8VmZqmkAAAJ
Subject: Re: Forgers
Injection-Date: Tue, 19 May 2020 09:49:25 +0000
NNTP-Posting-Host: 2602:30a:2c0a:f530:49ae:e4f4:66f:cbfb
"Barry" is Dental River....
If anyone should apologize, Barry should apologize to Doc.....
As if THAT would ever happen or even be suggested.....
Shut up about Barry
You ARE "Barry", you scumbag troll....
Subject: Re: On The Water's Holy Edge
Newsgroups: alt.arts.poetry.comments
Date: Sat, 23 May 2020 14:09 UTC
There you go, Ktell, observe that.....
Now where is Pendragon whining about an apology....?
An apology for *what*?

Sleep it off, Stink Boy.
Zod
2020-05-24 17:08:00 UTC
Permalink
Post by Michael Pendragon
Post by Zod
Post by Mildred Dockery
Post by Zod
https://groups.google.com/forum/#!original/alt.arts.poetry.comments/Me99AGDnywU/f8VmZqmkAAAJ
Subject: Re: Forgers
Injection-Date: Tue, 19 May 2020 09:49:25 +0000
NNTP-Posting-Host: 2602:30a:2c0a:f530:49ae:e4f4:66f:cbfb
"Barry" is Dental River....
If anyone should apologize, Barry should apologize to Doc.....
As if THAT would ever happen or even be suggested.....
Shut up about Barry
You ARE "Barry", you scumbag troll....
Subject: Re: On The Water's Holy Edge
Newsgroups: alt.arts.poetry.comments
Date: Sat, 23 May 2020 14:09 UTC
There you go, Ktell, observe that.....
Now where is Pendragon whining about an apology....?
An apology for *what*?
Sleep it off, Stink Boy.
You forgot the post where you asked G.D. to apologize to D.R....?
Michael Pendragon
2020-05-24 17:27:24 UTC
Permalink
Post by Zod
Post by Michael Pendragon
Post by Zod
Post by Mildred Dockery
Post by Zod
https://groups.google.com/forum/#!original/alt.arts.poetry.comments/Me99AGDnywU/f8VmZqmkAAAJ
Subject: Re: Forgers
Injection-Date: Tue, 19 May 2020 09:49:25 +0000
NNTP-Posting-Host: 2602:30a:2c0a:f530:49ae:e4f4:66f:cbfb
"Barry" is Dental River....
If anyone should apologize, Barry should apologize to Doc.....
As if THAT would ever happen or even be suggested.....
Shut up about Barry
You ARE "Barry", you scumbag troll....
Subject: Re: On The Water's Holy Edge
Newsgroups: alt.arts.poetry.comments
Date: Sat, 23 May 2020 14:09 UTC
There you go, Ktell, observe that.....
Now where is Pendragon whining about an apology....?
An apology for *what*?
Sleep it off, Stink Boy.
You forgot the post where you asked G.D. to apologize to D.R....?
Yes, I advised George to apologize to Dental River -- but that was in a different thread. I suggest you pay a visit to Dr. Schwimmer and ask him to explain the meaning of "context" -- and why your non sequitur (above) fails to provide any.
Zod
2020-05-24 17:42:00 UTC
Permalink
It was about what G.D. wrote here, though....

Don't lie, Pendragon....
Michael Pendragon
2020-05-24 17:54:30 UTC
Permalink
Post by Zod
It was about what G.D. wrote here, though....
That doesn't make a lick of difference, Stink.

Again, I advise you to consult with Dr. Schwimmer.
Post by Zod
Don't lie, Pendragon....
Where do you see a lie, Stink Bum?
Zod
2020-05-24 18:03:00 UTC
Permalink
You asked George Dance to apologize to Dental River, correct, Pendragon..?
Michael Pendragon
2020-05-24 18:47:18 UTC
Permalink
Post by Zod
You asked George Dance to apologize to Dental River, correct, Pendragon..?
I did not ask George Dance to apologize in *this* thread, Stink.

Your failure to copy/specify a point of reference rendered your statement meaningless.
Peter J Ross
2020-06-05 20:07:11 UTC
Permalink
Post by Zod
You ARE "Barry", you scumbag troll....
No! I'm "Barry"! And so is my wife!
--
PJR :-)

μεγάλη ἡ ἀλήθεια καὶ ὑπερισχύει.
- Esdras A 4.41
Zod
2020-06-05 20:10:00 UTC
Permalink
Post by Peter J Ross
Post by Zod
You ARE "Barry", you scumbag troll....
No! I'm "Barry"! And so is my wife!
Quite unlikely, Peter....
Peter J Ross
2020-06-05 20:45:31 UTC
Permalink
Post by Zod
Post by Peter J Ross
Post by Zod
You ARE "Barry", you scumbag troll....
No! I'm "Barry"! And so is my wife!
Quite unlikely, Peter....
*whooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooosh*

Since you don't understand a Kubrik joke, perhaps an Ovid joke will go
down better.

impetus ille sacer, qui vatum pectora nutrit,
qui prius in nobis esse solebat, abest.

Don't forget to make your friends and family laugh by repeating it to
them, Plod!
--
PJR :-)

μεγάλη ἡ ἀλήθεια καὶ ὑπερισχύει.
- Esdras A 4.41
Zod
2020-05-23 14:50:00 UTC
Permalink
Post by Zod
https://groups.google.com/forum/#!original/alt.arts.poetry.comments/Me99AGDnywU/f8VmZqmkAAAJ
Subject: Re: Forgers
Injection-Date: Tue, 19 May 2020 09:49:25 +0000
NNTP-Posting-Host: 2602:30a:2c0a:f530:49ae:e4f4:66f:cbfb
"Barry" is Dental River....
If anyone should apologize, Barry should apologize to Doc.....
Zod, you made your point. That is unless someone is pretending to be "Barry", which is possible. Please keep it in the war room.
DR, stop pretending to be Mildred et al. outside the war room please.
Peace
Barry has admitted and bragged abut his impostor posts, and I am quite sure George Dance remembers this....

Now about that apology, it is Barry who owes Doc one....!!
Zod
2020-05-23 14:54:00 UTC
Permalink
Post by drive-by
Post by Zod
Post by Mildred Dockery
Post by Zod
https://groups.google.com/forum/#!original/alt.arts.poetry.comments/Me99AGDnywU/f8VmZqmkAAAJ
Subject: Re: Forgers
Injection-Date: Tue, 19 May 2020 09:49:25 +0000
NNTP-Posting-Host: 2602:30a:2c0a:f530:49ae:e4f4:66f:cbfb
"Barry" is Dental River....
If anyone should apologize, Barry should apologize to Doc.....
As if THAT would ever happen or even be suggested.....
Shut up about Barry
You ARE "Barry", you scumbag troll....
Subject: Re: On The Water's Holy Edge
Newsgroups: alt.arts.poetry.comments
Date: Sat, 23 May 2020 14:09 UTC
There you go, Ktell, observe that.....
Now where is Pendragon whining about an apology....?
?
Are you fucking 12?
You seem confused, Rochester.....
Zod
2020-05-23 15:01:00 UTC
Permalink
Let us examine George J. Dance’s contributions to Dental River’s poem “On The Water's Holy Edge.”
Oh, goody; I'm getting an NG "critique".
Mr. Dance inserted his own lines after each of DR’s, for reasons we don’t understand.
"We don't understand" is a recurring theme in NG's "critiques".
If the lines were meant to improve the poem, they didn’t. If they were meant to mock the poem, that effort was a failure since Mr. Dance’s writing, at its very best, is pedestrian. If they were meant to be funny, Mr. Dance is not a comedian.
And if they were meant to eliminate the coronavirus, they failed that way, too. We could spend all day on what the lines could have meant.
On the water's holy edge we smell a poignant bloom.
I think I'm almost choking in its smell of stale perfume.
Note that Mr. Dance changed DR’s “We” to be now “I.” Who is “its?”
The bloom's, of course. The speaker's with a group of people who smell the bloom; but only the speaker is choking.
(NG loses points for missing the song reference.)
Let them add to it,
with some other shit,
How did the shit fly into the poem?
They're adding to a bad smell. "Shit" is an appropriate metaphor for that.
so they can subtract and add again.
and other smells may seep into my brain.
Are smells in your brain?
Of course, dear: smells, like sounds, are mental events.
On the verge of everything, we breathe charged air
while on the verge of nothing, we would still be breathing there
Where is “there?”
On the verge of nothing (as opposed to where the speaker and his group are, on the verge of everything).
and let them think with it,
or with some other shit,
You already used this line.
Just as in the original text: both are repeated (but slightly varied) lines.
You do tend to overuse the same words.
You do tend to complain about the same things.
decide for us, rethink and decide.
abide with us, repurpose and abide.
Abide times two.
Matching "decide" x 2 in the original text.
Now, instead of “I,” it is “us?”
Of course: "They" are deciding for all of "us," not just the speaker.
We are loosed into the forbidden sea around their planet,
as into the mansion were poor Brad and Janet,
Very overused cliche’. Perhaps an obscure The Who lyric would fit here? How about “Rough toys
Under the sheets.”
(1) it's does not fit the rhyme or meter; (2) the original text already alluded to RHPH by bringing up "forbidden ... planet" - my line underscored that.
they can no longer hide from their assassins
as to their lungs coronavirus fastens.
Awkward wording.
Nonsense; it's a wonderful couplet, the best thing in the whole piece.
As Michael has written, who talks like that?
Dryden, for one; I'm sorry you missed the threads where we've discussed inversion.
We take chase from them through the movements
of both destruction and improvements,
“Improvements” is a lazy word to use and doesn’t fit with “destruction.”
Of course it does; it tells us that "their" actions are both positive and negative. It's a very pedestrian word, but using those for effect is something I've been doing since I first read Eliot.
Rebuilding, refinements, enhancements—many other words would be better.
Not one of those actually rhymes with 'improvements', you know.
of our own crumbling music,
our literature, our physic,
You get diarrhea from reading your own writings?
Music, literature, and science are all crumbling. Even you might have understood that couplet, if you'd only refrained from butchering the text.
Let them hear us, find us,
inform us and remind us.
Inspiration from purgatives?
Bad guess, but wrong.
Out of prisons of entropy, we hatch a whole plot
and what I mean by that is - oh dear, I quite forgot!
Awful, awful, even in a parody poem.
It's just a comment on the obliqueness of the previous line; more parody than poem, admittedly. I may edit it out later, but it still gives me a chuckle.
You are now back to “I” when you were using “we” before. Please be constant in your use of pronouns.
The speaker uses "I" when referring to himself, and "we" when referring to the group he's in (the people first running from, and now being caught by, "them")
so they can use us,
and abuse us,
Why, exactly, is that? Most people would gladly abuse you and the company of your choice.
(NG loses more points for missing another song reference.)
reduce it for us, misuse and lie.
But why do they do it? Why, oh why?
Because it is fun and you are punchable.
NG seems to have forgotten that they were pretending to offer an honest "critique" of the lines.
We clench like a grinning weapon gestated inside them
as we decide we can no longer abide them,
Who is “we” and who are “them?”
The same people they were in the previous line, and that they've been ever since L1 (in the case of "we") and L3 (in the case of "them").
Once again: if you hadn't been intent on not reading the piece, even you might have understood that.
they can no longer hide from their assassins
as to their lungs coronavirus fastens.
You already said this.
Once again: it's a repeated line in response to a repeated line - a 'refrain'.
Whose lungs are you talking about?
Those who can no longer hide from their assassins. It's a powerful message: no matter who they are, no matter where they go, no matter what they do, someone - anyone - can kill them just by breathing on them.
We see no reason for Mr. Dance to have added his lines to DR’s poem. The Dance lines were not clever, funny, insightful, or Rossesque.
Not everyone agrees with you on at least the last point.
Karen, you are going to live to regret kind words, just so you know...
If Mr. Dance is trying to imitate PJR, he needs a bigger tool box.
Oh, no: PJ used to do this to add lines commenting on the original poet, not the original poem.
Not that I’m a big fan of the man behind the curtain, but you’re not even rossesque.
You are just being a troll.
So glad I could clean up that bit of confusion for ya, dance.
I'm trying very hard not to take sides.
As long as you are aware of what a scumbag Dental River aka Barry is.....!
Zod
2020-05-23 18:56:00 UTC
Permalink
Post by drive-by
Post by Zod
Post by Mildred Dockery
Post by Zod
https://groups.google.com/forum/#!original/alt.arts.poetry.comments/Me99AGDnywU/f8VmZqmkAAAJ
Subject: Re: Forgers
Injection-Date: Tue, 19 May 2020 09:49:25 +0000
NNTP-Posting-Host: 2602:30a:2c0a:f530:49ae:e4f4:66f:cbfb
"Barry" is Dental River....
If anyone should apologize, Barry should apologize to Doc.....
As if THAT would ever happen or even be suggested.....
Shut up about Barry
You ARE "Barry", you scumbag troll....
Subject: Re: On The Water's Holy Edge
Newsgroups: alt.arts.poetry.comments
Date: Sat, 23 May 2020 14:09 UTC
There you go, Ktell, observe that.....
Now where is Pendragon whining about an apology....?
?
Are you fucking 12?
You seem confused, Rochester..... as you so often are....
Zod
2020-05-24 07:15:00 UTC
Permalink
Barry the fuckhead.....
Peter J Ross
2020-06-05 20:10:37 UTC
Permalink
Post by Zod
Barry the fuckhead.....
Ah, witty intellectual repartee! This is what brings me back to Usenet!
--
PJR :-)

μεγάλη ἡ ἀλήθεια καὶ ὑπερισχύει.
- Esdras A 4.41
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