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PPB: Over and Over Again / Antti
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George J. Dance
2020-03-22 16:42:06 UTC
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Today's poem on Penny's Poetry Blog:
Over and Over Again, by Antti

The sun blazes on the sky
like electroshock therapy
for the dusty mind.
[...]

https://gdancesbetty.blogspot.com/2020/03/over-and-over-again-antti.html
Z***@none.i2p
2020-03-23 03:20:55 UTC
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George J. Dance wrote on Sun, 22 March 2020 16:42
Post by George J. Dance
Over and Over Again, by Antti
The sun blazes on the sky
like electroshock therapy
for the dusty mind.
[...]
https://gdancesbetty.blogspot.com/2020/03/over-and-over-again-antti.html
Excellent poem and presentation.....
Antti
2020-03-23 05:12:03 UTC
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Post by George J. Dance
Over and Over Again, by Antti
The sun blazes on the sky
like electroshock therapy
for the dusty mind.
[...]
https://gdancesbetty.blogspot.com/2020/03/over-and-over-again-antti.html
Thank you for posting it!

Antti
George J. Dance
2020-03-23 19:22:58 UTC
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Post by Antti
Post by George J. Dance
Over and Over Again, by Antti
The sun blazes on the sky
like electroshock therapy
for the dusty mind.
[...]
https://gdancesbetty.blogspot.com/2020/03/over-and-over-again-antti.html
Thank you for posting it!
Antti
Well, thank you for letting me use it. It's the best poem I've read of yours.
Post by Antti
Post by George J. Dance
The sun blazes on the sky
I think 90% of English-speaking readers would probably have told you to change "on" to "in", as the sun is in the sky, not on it. As it is, the preposition is odd, and draws my attention. So I reread, and notice that you're not saying that the sun is on the sky, but "blazing on" it - which gives me the idea of the sky as a metal, shining with sunlight reflecting off it.

Which is the way it is in reality, of course. As we learned in elementary school, the sky is blue because the shorter blue and ultraviolet waves are being reflected back to earth by the ozone layer. So it's not just the sun shining light on us, but the whole sky that's shining - a complex image that you convey accurately with one little 2-letter word.

I tend to go on about how every word is important, no matter how small, and a poet must pay attention to each one. Thank you again, this time for the opportunity of making that point with a new example.
Antti
2020-03-26 04:39:04 UTC
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Post by George J. Dance
Post by Antti
Post by George J. Dance
Over and Over Again, by Antti
The sun blazes on the sky
like electroshock therapy
for the dusty mind.
[...]
https://gdancesbetty.blogspot.com/2020/03/over-and-over-again-antti.html
Thank you for posting it!
Antti
Well, thank you for letting me use it. It's the best poem I've read of yours.
Post by Antti
Post by George J. Dance
The sun blazes on the sky
I think 90% of English-speaking readers would probably have told you to change "on" to "in", as the sun is in the sky, not on it. As it is, the preposition is odd, and draws my attention. So I reread, and notice that you're not saying that the sun is on the sky, but "blazing on" it - which gives me the idea of the sky as a metal, shining with sunlight reflecting off it.
Which is the way it is in reality, of course. As we learned in elementary school, the sky is blue because the shorter blue and ultraviolet waves are being reflected back to earth by the ozone layer. So it's not just the sun shining light on us, but the whole sky that's shining - a complex image that you convey accurately with one little 2-letter word.
I tend to go on about how every word is important, no matter how small, and a poet must pay attention to each one. Thank you again, this time for the opportunity of making that point with a new example.
Truthfully it was just a mistake. I struggle with in and on.

Antti
Z***@none.i2p
2020-03-26 05:39:31 UTC
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Antti Luode wrote on Thu, 26 March 2020 04:39
Post by Antti
Post by George J. Dance
Post by Antti
Post by George J. Dance
Over and Over Again, by Antti
The sun blazes on the sky
like electroshock therapy
for the dusty mind.
[...]
https://gdancesbetty.blogspot.com/2020/03/over-and-over-again-antti.html
Thank you for posting it!
Antti
Well, thank you for letting me use it. It's the best poem I've read of yours.
Post by Antti
Post by George J. Dance
The sun blazes on the sky
I think 90% of English-speaking readers would probably have told you to change "on" to "in", as the sun is in the sky, not on it. As it is, the preposition is odd, and draws my attention. So I reread, and notice that you're not saying that the sun is on the sky, but "blazing on" it - which gives me the idea of the sky as a metal, shining with sunlight reflecting off it.
Which is the way it is in reality, of course. As we learned in elementary school, the sky is blue because the shorter blue and ultraviolet waves are being reflected back to earth by the ozone layer. So it's not just the sun shining light on us, but the whole sky that's shining - a complex image that you convey accurately with one little 2-letter word.
I tend to go on about how every word is important, no matter how small, and a poet must pay attention to each one. Thank you again, this time for the opportunity of making that point with a new example.
Truthfully it was just a mistake. I struggle with in and on.
Antti
It added depth....
George J. Dance
2020-03-27 16:32:13 UTC
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Post by Z***@none.i2p
Antti Luode wrote on Thu, 26 March 2020 04:39
Post by Antti
Post by George J. Dance
Post by Antti
Post by George J. Dance
Over and Over Again, by Antti
The sun blazes on the sky
like electroshock therapy
for the dusty mind.
[...]
https://gdancesbetty.blogspot.com/2020/03/over-and-over-again-antti.html
Thank you for posting it!
Antti
Well, thank you for letting me use it. It's the best poem I've read of yours.
Post by Antti
Post by George J. Dance
The sun blazes on the sky
I think 90% of English-speaking readers would probably have told you to change "on" to "in", as the sun is in the sky, not on it. As it is, the preposition is odd, and draws my attention. So I reread, and notice that you're not saying that the sun is on the sky, but "blazing on" it - which gives me the idea of the sky as a metal, shining with sunlight reflecting off it.
Which is the way it is in reality, of course. As we learned in elementary school, the sky is blue because the shorter blue and ultraviolet waves are being reflected back to earth by the ozone layer. So it's not just the sun shining light on us, but the whole sky that's shining - a complex image that you convey accurately with one little 2-letter word.
I tend to go on about how every word is important, no matter how small, and a poet must pay attention to each one. Thank you again, this time for the opportunity of making that point with a new example.
Truthfully it was just a mistake. I struggle with in and on.
Antti
It added depth....
It was a different use of language that worked well.
George J. Dance
2020-03-27 16:29:59 UTC
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Post by Antti
Post by George J. Dance
Post by Antti
Post by George J. Dance
Over and Over Again, by Antti
The sun blazes on the sky
like electroshock therapy
for the dusty mind.
[...]
https://gdancesbetty.blogspot.com/2020/03/over-and-over-again-antti.html
Thank you for posting it!
Antti
Well, thank you for letting me use it. It's the best poem I've read of yours.
Post by Antti
Post by George J. Dance
The sun blazes on the sky
I think 90% of English-speaking readers would probably have told you to change "on" to "in", as the sun is in the sky, not on it. As it is, the preposition is odd, and draws my attention. So I reread, and notice that you're not saying that the sun is on the sky, but "blazing on" it - which gives me the idea of the sky as a metal, shining with sunlight reflecting off it.
Which is the way it is in reality, of course. As we learned in elementary school, the sky is blue because the shorter blue and ultraviolet waves are being reflected back to earth by the ozone layer. So it's not just the sun shining light on us, but the whole sky that's shining - a complex image that you convey accurately with one little 2-letter word.
I tend to go on about how every word is important, no matter how small, and a poet must pay attention to each one. Thank you again, this time for the opportunity of making that point with a new example.
Truthfully it was just a mistake. I struggle with in and on.
Antti
Oh, I believe that. English grammar rules are confusing enough for native Anglophones. One rule that has constantly given me trouble is when to use "that" and when to use "which". It's counter-intuitive: Use THAT to specify WHICH one. And some of them are purely arbitrary: "toward" vs. "towards", for example.
Z***@none.i2p
2020-03-27 16:34:20 UTC
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George J. Dance wrote on Fri, 27 March 2020 16:29
Post by George J. Dance
Post by Antti
Post by George J. Dance
Post by Antti
Post by George J. Dance
Over and Over Again, by Antti
The sun blazes on the sky
like electroshock therapy
for the dusty mind.
[...]
https://gdancesbetty.blogspot.com/2020/03/over-and-over-again-antti..html
Thank you for posting it!
Antti
Well, thank you for letting me use it. It's the best poem I've read of yours.
Post by Antti
Post by George J. Dance
The sun blazes on the sky
I think 90% of English-speaking readers would probably have told you to change "on" to "in", as the sun is in the sky, not on it. As it is, the preposition is odd, and draws my attention. So I reread, and notice that you're not saying that the sun is on the sky, but "blazing on" it - which gives me the idea of the sky as a metal, shining with sunlight reflecting off it..
Which is the way it is in reality, of course. As we learned in elementary school, the sky is blue because the shorter blue and ultraviolet waves are being reflected back to earth by the ozone layer. So it's not just the sun shining light on us, but the whole sky that's shining - a complex image that you convey accurately with one little 2-letter word.
I tend to go on about how every word is important, no matter how small, and a poet must pay attention to each one. Thank you again, this time for the opportunity of making that point with a new example.
Truthfully it was just a mistake. I struggle with in and on.
Antti
Oh, I believe that. English grammar rules are confusing enough for native Anglophones. One rule that has constantly given me trouble is when to use "that" and when to use "which". It's counter-intuitive: Use THAT to specify WHICH one. And some of them are purely arbitrary: "toward" vs. "towards", for example.
Indeed...
Rocky Balbubba
2020-03-26 21:30:37 UTC
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Post by George J. Dance
Post by Antti
Post by George J. Dance
Over and Over Again, by Antti
The sun blazes on the sky
like electroshock therapy
for the dusty mind.
[...]
https://gdancesbetty.blogspot.com/2020/03/over-and-over-again-antti.html
Thank you for posting it!
Antti
Well, thank you for letting me use it. It's the best poem I've read of yours.
Post by Antti
Post by George J. Dance
The sun blazes on the sky
I think 90% of English-speaking readers would probably have told you to change "on" to "in", as the sun is in the sky, not on it. As it is, the preposition is odd, and draws my attention. So I reread, and notice that you're not saying that the sun is on the sky, but "blazing on" it - which gives me the idea of the sky as a metal, shining with sunlight reflecting off it.
Which is the way it is in reality, of course. As we learned in elementary school, the sky is blue because the shorter blue and ultraviolet waves are being reflected back to earth by the ozone layer. So it's not just the sun shining light on us, but the whole sky that's shining - a complex image that you convey accurately with one little 2-letter word.
I tend to go on about how every word is important, no matter how small, and a poet must pay attention to each one. Thank you again, this time for the opportunity of making that point with a new example.
Well put, G.D.
Z***@none.i2p
2020-03-28 06:07:11 UTC
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George J. Dance wrote on Mon, 23 March 2020 19:22
Post by George J. Dance
Post by Antti
Post by George J. Dance
Over and Over Again, by Antti
The sun blazes on the sky
like electroshock therapy
for the dusty mind.
[...]
https://gdancesbetty.blogspot.com/2020/03/over-and-over-again-antti.html
Thank you for posting it!
Antti
Well, thank you for letting me use it. It's the best poem I've read of yours.
Post by Antti
Post by George J. Dance
The sun blazes on the sky
I think 90% of English-speaking readers would probably have told you to change "on" to "in", as the sun is in the sky, not on it. As it is, the preposition is odd, and draws my attention. So I reread, and notice that you're not saying that the sun is on the sky, but "blazing on" it - which gives me the idea of the sky as a metal, shining with sunlight reflecting off it.
Which is the way it is in reality, of course. As we learned in elementary school, the sky is blue because the shorter blue and ultraviolet waves are being reflected back to earth by the ozone layer. So it's not just the sun shining light on us, but the whole sky that's shining - a complex image that you convey accurately with one little 2-letter word.
I tend to go on about how every word is important, no matter how small, and a poet must pay attention to each one. Thank you again, this time for the opportunity of making that point with a new example.
And poetry thrives on unique uses of words.....

Rocky Balbubba
2020-03-28 00:02:03 UTC
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Post by Antti
Post by George J. Dance
Over and Over Again, by Antti
The sun blazes on the sky
like electroshock therapy
for the dusty mind.
[...]
https://gdancesbetty.blogspot.com/2020/03/over-and-over-again-antti.html
Thank you for posting it!
Antti
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